Adventures in awkward

Schematic of the incident

I don't know how I forgot to tell this story.

HN's mother and her husband were in town for a week or so and I took an afternoon to take them to the mall to pick up some ipods for their grandchildren blah blah blah. Anyhow, it was raining, and we're driving home, down a road that has 2 lanes in either direction. The car in front of me moves over to avoid a large puddle and I consider doing the same, but then somehow I'm all super smart and smarmy and thinking "I have all wheel drive, I won't hydroplane. That dude is a p*ssy" so I keep on in the same lane, and just as I'm about to hit the puddle I see this little old lady, more specifically I see her huge eyes and her big "O" of a mouth as she and I both realize she is about to get the puddling of her lifetime. I didn't at this point have time to switch lanes and hitting the brakes on water is just not good, so I just went for it and *really* hoped that on top of it I wouldn't hydroplane, because really, how embarrassing would that be. The speed limit on this road is like 45, really I had no time to do anything safely. So I did it. I hosed this lady down for DAYS.

Then I bit my lip, then I burst out laughing because HONESTLY 1) that's bad karma and now I know I have a puddling or something coming my way 2) I was so smug in my all wheel drive-ness and 3) your boyfriends PARENTS in the car when you pull shit like that? That's going to go far....

So I proceed to laugh somewhat hysterically, because it's all so weird and I'm so uncomfortable right now, only it's that crazy laugh where your eyes are telling the story of how weird you feel while your mouth kicks it up a notch by opening wider and being louder. So that goes on for a few minutes, with HN's mother just staring at me and my brain rapidly trying to close down everything that I am doing right now. I finally get myself under control, ensue awkward 5 minutes of silence and then HN's mother ends it all with. "Well. Shall we go somewhere and get some lunch. Perhaps you would have a glass of wine."

Indeed.

what is is

I have finally accepted that my bonsai tree is gone.


Making a quilt for my dad. Too busy?


Kitty is feeling better.

The good, the bad and the not very flattering

So the good is that I have a reasonably normal week ahoy. By that I mean I am not traveling this week, there are no out-of-towners to entertain and there is also something else that provides relief that I am currently unable to think of, but I'll let you know. But I know there were 3 things.

The bad is that I am still sick-ish. I can't even actually decide if I'm sick or if it really is allergies like I keep telling people - if I say it enough will it become true? Please? And if so, what am I allergic to exactly that has lasted this long? Fall? Baltimore? Wine? MYSELF???!

I guess if you look at me (this is where the not so flattering (but ugly would be a stretch) comes in) I might appear to be sick. At least this is the message I'm getting based on the fact that HN keeps looking at me and knotting his eyebrows together in concern and going "awwww". Whatever, we all express desire in different ways and I'm not here to judge. My chapped nose is quite probably considered sexy in many cultures, and I know women who sleep in wool hats and sweaters and cotton sweat pants with their faces buried in a handkerchief are also quite the turn on (although, I don't think if I were to wave and drop this particular handkerchief that HN would gallantly race to pick it up without a biohazard suit on).

Essentially this is what HN has been coming home to every day: Wild hair, because I can get through the shower part but I really just don't have blowdrying/styling in me right now so I pretty much trade in my hair towel for a hat and praise the fact that wool keeps you warm even when wet, bloodshot eyes with big sexy bags under them and a nose area which is just a hot mess of chapped skin/mucosal egress right now. Fuck, I think I've turned into my mother.


But I can still cook. Or at least I could 3 days ago and for now, we're still living large on leftovers.

Saturday HN's mother made this, which he seemed to like so I then duplicated it on Sunday because I had a pound of shredded chicken going nowhere fast in the fridge due to a slight miscalculation in whether I was making soup for 2 people or 10 last week. It turned out to be 2 and I was left with a ton of shredded chicken just waiting for me to do something with it. I had already made empanadas last week for company (empanadas de pino, using the recipe from cook's illustrated;big hit) and then used the leftover dough from that venture to make Moroccan spiced butternut squash empanaditas (fucking good) the next day. Anyhoo, I made the aji de gallina sunday, adding some Jalapeno powder and cumin but otherwise sticking mostly to the recipe. Solid dish, good use for the meat but I don't know that it's going into heavy rotation as a destination. I'm not a huge fan of chicken and cream based things. Meh.

Anyhow, I had a long solid day of doing nothing yesterday and am feeling like I could almost be on the mend. For dinner last night I ate a bowl of shredded beets and carrots as big as my head with some vinegar for good measure, and today I'm on a program of even more veggies (stuff is starting to go soft in the fridge while I convalesce) plus a shit ton of pickled hot peppers; vitamin C plus hellfire and brimstone and this cold/allergy/parasite doesn't stand a chance. I'm supposed to have an onsite meeting today and I'm on the fence. On the one hand, it would be nice to get out of the house and perhaps even to see people but on the other, the novelty of those things tends to wear off after 10 minutes or so, and then the actual meeting continues on for another hour, so this could backfire. I have 4 hours and a jar of hot peppers between me and the time of decision. I'm also contemplating in some area of my brain getting exercise, thinking that if I just start acting like I'm fine and everything is good then my body will fall in line.

Being sick is boring I guess is the bottom line. BO-RING. and also, I'm lazy, so I can never decide if I want to stay in bed/dog bed/house because I'm lazy or legit tired. Then I think of those germy posters on the subway, you know the ones: "If you're sick keep your broke ass at home" or whatever they say and I try to compare myself to the dude in the picture and wonder if they're talking to me. Maybe I'll call the person with whom I was supposed to meet and cough for her, let her decide if she's up to the risk. Caveat emptor and all that...

the problem with working from home

is that when you wake up feeling crap on a saturday, you still really have to leave the house for a while.

Also, I might firebomb my neighbors today. I'll let you know if it works out.

A case of the Fridays

All week long I've been sitting back, smugly eyeing HN over the rim of my coffee cup because he was sick. "See?" I said, "You need to sleep more, and be serious about vitamins and water and stuff. Look at me, I've been traveling for weeks and am healthy as a horse. Here, have a tissue"

So naturally this morning I woke up for my 6am post upgrade systems test with a sore throat and stuffy head and all those other things I was being smug at HN for having. Serves me right-ish, but luckily I have soup and tons of orange veggies on hand because I was cooking them for HN all week. Sick people food, I can do. (and honestly I think my main problem is allergies. There is a cold front blowing in and the trees are being divested of their leaves and I'm pretty much allergic to like, everything in it's dusty form)

and now, post upgrade systems having passed all checks I am going to climb into the dog's bed and wait for my coffee/dayquil/sunrise to kick in and make me human again.

Monday, so far

1) wait at bus stop for 35 minutes. Finally some woman tells me "you waiting for the number 4? me too, it's not coming. Let's go" and leads me to another stop where we catch it and she rips the bus driver a new one for the lack of signage at the normal stop.

2) my 1000 bead necklace breaks and I leave a little trail of orange beads behind me as I walk. At least I can find my way home now!

Make a note; things I am learning in the UK

Educational trip this one!

Monday I learned that looking up the bus route on the internet is not the best way to figure out your bus route. Not when you're me anyway, I confuse easily. I know that I know this, but I keep forgetting and thinking that I can do it and then I'm all going out into the world and getting on weird buses. I also learned that I'm apparently kind of annoying. When I got on I asked the bus driver to take me to where I thought I wanted to go, and paid my fare. At some point I asked him again about where I was going and he got all pissy and pulled over and let me/told me to get off. I was all "whatever dude" and then I was all "hmm. where am I? I wonder if they will find me. Perhaps I should have gotten that mobile phone I thought about" I started walking in the direction the bus had left in, thinking that I must be close, and then I saw a sign for the American Cemetery which confirmed it. 2 RAINY miles later, I arrived at work, really REALLY glad I had bought a new raincoat right before I left home. It was a whim, and I'm glad I went with it.

Tuesday I learned that I apparently shout when I drink. I learned this when I went drinking with my coworkers and at one point there was one on either side, each patting me on the arm saying "calm down, it's fine". I thought in my head "Hmm, I must be shouting" I think it might be a Boston thing, because my college friends never placate, they just yell back.
I also learned that I had actually been thrown off the bus yesterday, not let off. My fare the second day was more expensive than Monday, and then it occurred to me that the bus driver Monday might have been so angry because when I showed him my ticket to ask him if we were there yet, he noticed I had gone past the stop I had paid for. I told my coworkers what I had said getting on and they said "yeah, no. that's not right" oops. Whatever. Then they told me what I *should* be saying to the bus driver, and then I also learned that sometimes asking people who know is the best way to figure stuff out.

Wednesday I learned that there are two #4 buses in Cambridge. Both are lovely, but not the same. I also learned that hangovers are totally ok at the office, and that when people say "Are you all right?" the WRONG answer is "yeah, why?" What they mean is "how are you?" and saying yeah why is weird and kind of rude.

Thursday I learned the american cemetery is awesome and immaculate, pictures to follow. I also learned that take out is not the norm. I went to a pub after work because I was starving and it was late and I was hungry and didn't want to cook but I really just needed to get home, so I asked for take out. The dude said "Ok" so I thought it was ok, but then he came out with a packet of tin foil, said "careful that's hot" and sent me on my way. Walking home with a hot packet of macaroni and cheese can be awkward, but I can do it.

Friday I learned we go to the pub for lunch! Yay!!!

TODAY I learned that that when they say "Next train leaving the platform is going to blah blah blah", they mean the NEXT NEXT train, not the one actually on the platform right now that you have boarded.