Saturday, July 28, 2007

Century club!

yes, I ks, have made history by finishing the ginormous box of freeze pops I bought at wal-mart like 2 years ago. It truly is the end of an era here at Casa di apathe'. It wasn't an easy job, but it had to be done.

This is pretty much the highlight of my weekend, it has been largely thus far time without result. My list of things to do is getting overwhelmingly long so I've spent the day trying to make a dent in it, with little success.

It's my fault, I took a lot of "personal time" this week, and now it's time to pay the piper. I unfortunately slacked myself into a corner, to a degree which is unusual for me, but I had a last minute trip pop up. Anyhow... I worked on documentation for work until 1am last night, and did more this morning. Before I go to bed tonight I will do more yet.

Then in personal matters I also tried to square my account with the Curtains of Doom and get them out of my life, but I have yet to succeed there. I just had to stop, I worked 5 hours today hunched over this table and I just want to set them on fire at this point. I had to put them somewhere else for safekeeping but I am almost done. There is hope.

Right now I'm taking a break from being goal oriented and having some dinner while I contemplate the most refreshing summer beverage, quite possilby ever.

Fresh Basil Strawberry lemonade. Trust me on this one.

Simmer 2 cups basil leaves with 1/2 cup sugar and 2 cups water for 30-45 min
strain out the solids and reserve liquid
pulp 2-3 lemons into this mix (more if you want)
add 2 cups water (more or less depending on how strong you want it)
chill. serve over ice with fresh strawberries mixed or, or possiby just use frozen ones like i did because i had no ice cubes. they were edible and delicious by the end.

also, add vodka if you like sometime.

and with that, im back to my torments.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The only good bug...

...is a dead one. That kitty killed and bit in half like 4 days ago, so it's all dry and not nasty anymore and can be tidily scooped up with an envelope or something. Just found one of those and I was being thankful for coming across the corpse this way because giant bugs are not nearly as fun to find when they're:
  • a) alive and huge and coming right at you
  • b) newly killed and stuck to the floor leaking innards
  • c)in the process of being eaten by your previously cuddly looking cat who is in actuality a stone face killer and eating a bug with the same mouth that will be chilling out on your bed in 20 min. Don't get me wrong, the stone faced killer thing is dead handy round the house, and kind of a bad ass alter ego for the common cat but that live bug shit's happened to me before and it's just gross.
I fucking hate bugs. When I go camping, I stop drinking fluids at dusk and don't pee after dark because one time when I was backpacking and I went out to pee and looked down and the floor of the woods was COVERED with moving shit. Indiana Jones type stuff.

Anyhoo, I was cruising around and I tripped over some thing called "what's for dinner weds" where you show everyone something you made to eat. Since I decided people should know more about the mundane details of my life, I thought I'd institute a little venture called "what's for dinner when my lazy ass gets around to picture gathering" Tonight is the first episode, but look for more to come, because I just got this cookbook (for 8 BUCKS. I rule.)

So. Tonight's dinner is a yummy little Mediterranean medley brought to you by the fact that I love cilantro, it's too hot to cook, and I have 8 tomato plants growing in my yard.

1)Tabouleh salad
2)Diced tomatoes, because I pretty much eat them any way they go now.
3)Cilantro-Jalapeno hummus

I never pay attention to what I do but these recipes are close to what I made. I'm shoveling it in with a tortilla but a pita would do it too.

Cold, spicy and delicious. This might be a big summer feature. and you can pretty much put chopped frozen spinach into anything you cook I've decided, because I used it in the hummus and the tabouleh and I'm going to put some in the smoothie I'm making before I go climbing.

Cos that's how I do.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Patience children...

The desk will come. The things is, I really want you, my audience to get the full effect, so I'm trying to hold off until it's 100% done, including ergonomic devices installed, computers set up and shit (like POW, behold, for it is my workstation! and shit) , but I haven't been arsed to finish the cleaning of the room that I started when I undertook constructing the thing (there was a lot of stuff in there I didn't much need but having not seen it for so long as it was buried under piles of other stuff I really didn't need masked the depth of the project- it really turned into a major thing overall), BUT I'm making progress. Should be finished this week and I will for certain post pictures shortly. Then it will be a simple matter of finding the perfect stool to go with. I'm thinking Ikea, but will make the obligatory rounds at local thrift stores before shelling out. I will attempt to placate with this picture of the desk in the early phases of construction. I didn't think to take a total before picture (as in, when my bureau was poorly fitted into this cubby and it's potential was wasted) but use your imagination.

I have mounted the supporting boards. Titillating, no?*

In the meantime, sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I've spent lots of time away from the computer, and I've had tons of great ideas but unfortunately by the time I get back to my machine the ideas have deserted me. Terrible thing really, because some of that shit was funny. I don't remember what it was, but I remember cracking myself up over it. Not to worry though, I've found my microrecorder and am going to be carrying it with me from now on, to capture the pesky ideas as they come and transcribe and expand on them for your reading pleasure. I'm going to be like the Hunter S Thompson of blogging. Minus all the shooting at stuff and road trips, etc. (for now anyway, though hopefully the road trips bit will come in due time)

In the meantime, I was reading this story and all I can think is "I WOULD DO IT" and then "why???" I would totally take a menial job if the cash was decent. Sigh, where are my offers? Yes, rich people I will be the best fucking PA you ever had! It's like in Europe, where all sorts of jobs pay decent wages, so you don't just get the people who can't do anything else doing things like streetpaving and baristas, etc (did I just insult U.S. streetpavers and baristas? I didn't mean to...)

I was also reading this (thanks Mimi Smartypants) and wondering about this poor soul. He's way too cerebral about his Garfield. I mean, really is all. Seriously.

and in other news, I have added fish to my menagerie! yay! ok, I didn't really add them, they were castoffs from some animal behavior thing that went down but they are oh! so! pretty! and I don't mind telling you I made a sweet little pad for the one of them. The other is still in his institutional looking bowl, but I will save him soon. I've been scouring thrift stores and yard sales for more interesting containers but haven't found "the one" yet. but I will, and you know this. and more importantly, I know this. I believe in me!!

Anyhow, my fish. You should see his trick.

In fact, let me put you on hold and go download the pictures I took of cool fish. You'll see what's so cool about it in a minute and in the meantime, you just sit right there and think about what you've done:.....

So here is blue fish. I'm thinking of naming him Kitty because that always seems to want to come out of my mouth when I'm talking to him. I'm still on the fence though.

Check out his cool oversized barware shack:
Pretty

and for his first trick, magic fish will DISAPPEAR! (oooh, aaah, no?)
Sneaky

and then, he will come back IN DUPLICATE (the crowd goes wild!)

Rad.


You can't tell me that's not cool. or that I don't get out enough.

and the ants have given up! I basically put everything I had containing sugar in the freezer and I believe they have accepted that I am more stubborn than they are and gone to the neighbors house. SUCK IT EXOSKELETOR!

*I have been encountering many foreign people lately and I have noticed many seem to end their sentences with a question. I like it, I'm giving it a go for a bit.

Monday, July 16, 2007

There is every possibility I'm eating ants right now

Apparently I have an ant issue. It was more of a non-issue for me, because in my opinion the house is more than big enough for some guests but this morning they did the unthinkable. They messed with my coffee, invdaded my coffeemate! My beloved powdered cow! (I never use all of my milk when I buy it, so I've given up and just use the powdered stuff for coffee now. It never rots!)

Anyhow, I opened the container and see that the previously identified as not horrible cohabitants had helped themselves to my CoffeeMate without even asking. Bastards, there's plenty of crap on the counter they could be happy with but nooooooo, they have to eat my good stuff! Well fuck that. First off Do. Not. Fuck. With. My. Coffee. It's just not cool and it's not right and I don't care how cool you are with your fancy exoskeleton, I won't stand for it.
Tomorrow, it's Borax and sugar cocktails for everyone, my treat!

Second, the jokes on them. At 6am, I am utterly unable to come up with an alternative, so I just scooped all the ants I could see out with a spoon, and went back into the container like I hadn't seen a thing.

Then I put the whole kit in the freezer. It's a new jar, I'm not sure I'm ready to throw it all away so in the meantime I'm killing anyone who might be inside and not already dying a high fructose corn syrup solid smothered death. I'll decide what to do about it later, but I dont think ants are toxic. hmmm. mmmmm...

Sunday, July 15, 2007

A lovely Sunday, come and gone. and oh, the linkage!

I'm feeling linky today. Click, click, click !

Today was a nice little culmination of the weekend. I spent yesterday around the house, being deskmaster (pictures to come) and yardmaster (no pictures, because there was poo and bugs involved, and well ick.) In the end it was worth the work, and it was actually nice to be home and just puttering but I hate to have a weekend full of that, it's just too much. Or not enough as the case may be.

So after a delicious breakfast, I moseyed on down to Bethesda to visit Mike and we hit the Capital Crescent Trail from Bethesda to DC. It was a lovely 7 mile jaunt, but bullshit hot out. The saving grace was undoubtedly the greenery. I didn't have my camera, but picture a nice verdant tunnel if you will, with a paved 2 lane bike trail down the middle. aaah.

Anyhoo, the universe gained another point on me with a particularly cruel joke. We stopped at a water fountain, both having neglected to bring water and everyone ahead of me stopped to sip some delicious beverage. When it was my turn to go the fountain did not work. I shit you not, and I wasn't using it wrong. sigh. I just laughed, because that is classic stuff. So on we went to a little lunchery in Georgetown, where I had a delicious lunch and some primo people watching, and 3 glasses of water.

I'm currently looking into some software stuff online, riding out the remains of the day. I should wrap up deskmastery tomorrow and present you with some results. Look forward to it, it's going to rock!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Self portrait in yellow

Houston, we have videoconferencing

hey people

in case i forget to mention it i have a webcam. well it turns out that my digital camera acts as a webcam. skype me bitches!

here's my dad and i having a hat contest. cowboy hat vs fez. point:fez for originality.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

ohhh thank heaven, for 7-11

ha. That song is stuck in my head today, and you know that I'm spreading the love. It's nice to be able to give something back to the people though.

I've been working in an office with 3 other people since Tuesday, and I didn't know this previously, but the louder you talk during a disagreement, the more correct your point is. And apparently there's a lot of knowledge in this office, because these fuckers are screaming, ALL DAY LONG. I've finally had enough (ok, I had had enough by about 9:30 Tuesday, but now that I've finished an SOP I was working on with one of the guys I can bail) and I've been able to escape to the server room, where I'm tucked back nice and cozy with my feet up on the mail server. aaah, the soothing hum of windows space heaters. sigh. In working at home for the past 5 years, I didn't realize exactly how much I had come to value peace and quiet (and the lack of need to shower and dress before beginning work), but now I have a whole new appreciation for my personal space.

and for no other reason than to break up the text, here's a shot of the only officemate I'll ever want or need, eating carrots we picked out of the garden:


I'm in NC (because I don't think I've mentioned that to anyone), and I know people from Boston rev kind of high but I don't think I will ever really be able to understand the lax pace of the south. I heard an empassioned argument today, and it went like this (some background: it was a man and woman fighting over something he bought)
She: well I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayte it
He: well I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv it
She: well I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayte it
He:well I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuv it.

also, "well I" comes out more like "wyyy" so the real argument was "wyyy I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it" "Wyy I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv it"

5 minutes, I kid you not. I was completely transfixed and unable to look away, as were the rest of the people listening but for totally different reasons I'm sure. The people from down here thought this was an bad argument, and I was realizing exactly how different things are. like, wow. They sure do make some badass sweet tea though.

and I didn't realize this, but apparently the natives are a little bent about the influx of northerners moving down here. I was told last night that Cary stands for one of two things:
"Centralized Area for Relocated Yankees" (haaaaaaaa)
or "Crackers All 'Round Ya" (I almost spit coffee at this one. I LOVE it)

I've never been a member of so many stereotypes before, I almost feel like a little celebrity down here.

I am:
-a yankee
-a cracker
-"one of those feminists" (I think this is because I wear pants alot)
-"one of those women who just works and doesn't have babies"
-and a diet coke drinker, which is also somewhat offensive in certain circles

I just gotta be me...


and speaking of expressing oneself, is it me or is this a bit over the top? I saw this display at Barnes and Noble the other day, and you have to love the manager OKing this. and here I thought all managers at big chains were agents of "the man" and subject to things like laws and regulations. I'm not trying to cull anyone's green thumb -believe you me- but "adventures in your own backyard" ?


More later. The office atmosphere is stifling my creativity.

Friday, July 6, 2007

So far today...

I've decided I'm going to keep today's post dynamic, since I'll be on and off line, in and out of NSI and taking public transport. All of this always makes for good media and I've been depriving you all.

TGIF for sure.

10:00am Round 1: Universe 1, Kerry 1 (draw)

Admittedly, this one's my fault. I live in a house that is tight with the other houses around it and I'm usually pretty conscious of this. It's easy to see in other people's windows if that's your bag (I used to have my desk in front of the window and couldn't help it) so usually I'm careful when changing, etc. But during the workday, I'm expecting that noone is around and when I'm rushing I get a little lax. Like today. Rushing rushing rushing, will these pants do? No, try these pants. Ugh I'm bloaty, let me try these pants. etc etc etc, if you have a uterus, you know the drill. So I'm having a little fashion show when I notice the construction sounds across the street slowing down. and by across the street I mean directly across the street. Some background: New people bought the house and are moving in and are having some work done first so the house has been full of contractors pretty constantly as of late, a fact which I neglected to take into account when deciding to drop trou (trow?) in front of the window, which is also where my closet is. So anyhow, I notice that saws are slowing down, hammering is stopping etc and all I can think is "F. they see me" A quick glance across the street where I see a roomful of workers hanging back from the window looking in my general direction confirms this (hey guys? If you can see me even when I'm 5 feet back, I can also see you. fyi.) so I quickly decide that the pants I'm wearing will do and leave the room. I shake it off, I'm over it. Whatever. it happens right? Then I decide to take a quick jog up the road and hear from the house across the way "go to the window, she's across the street". I look around, yep, it's for me. There's a man working a table saw in the living room, wearing those big earmuffs so you don't go deaf and he was subtly alerting the boys to the fact that I'm showing myself again. Apparently they were wondering what I looked like from the front, and with pants on. Apparently also, they are not aware that they can be heard as I'm about 20 ft away, especially when screaming. Sigh. It's all good, it was very flattering once you translate from the gutterspeak, and I'm glad they're not feeling weird about observing me. I'd hate to make them uncomfortable about the fact that they're voyeurs and I'm apparently an exhibitionist. GGG right? So yeah, that's my morning thus far. I'm giving the Universe a point on this one for obvious reasons, but I'm taking one for me too. I like making people happy, and I have apparently done so. My work here is done.

Oh, and also I'm a hero. "Blatantly obvious", some might say, and they would be right. However, sometimes there is a reminder given like yesterday and I thought I would share. The people have a right to know. I'm sitting around, minding my business, working at my alter ego's job when I get a distress call. (are or are not the similarities to Superman *striking* at this point?) A friend's car has broken down, on the highway and help is needed. I hop in my trusty steed (Saturn, 4 cylinders, 92 horses bitches!) and head over. Once we determine that the broken down vehicle is not going anywhere on it's own we decide I'll tow it with my mean machine. See artist's rendering of the incident but in summary: it worked. Oh what an odd little chain gang we made, my tiny coupe towing an SUV around Baltimore. I did everything I could to draw attentio to us- well everything I could do while steering with one hand and maintaining radio communication with the towee. This mostly including screaming at passerby "'that's right bitches, I'm towing HIM". We made it safely to the garage, through hills, speedbumps and a short stint on the hightway. Overall it was great, and I was reminded why I became a superhero in the first place. Oh, the humanity... sigh...

not drawn to scale. SUV = markedly bigger than my truck, but you get the gist

11:30 am Round 2: Universe 2, Kerry 1 (point Universe)

So I head into the hallowed halls of NSI, feeling pretty good about myself. I have fans, loud burly appreciative fans and it went to my head, I admit this. But how can you not feel good about yourself after being so well received when you weren't even meaning to pose flatteringly? Sigh...so anyhow. I get to NSI a bit early for my meeting and decide to head to a nearby coffeehouse to get jazzed up for my meeting. Upon entering, I bob n weave through some scaffolding, pop in and get me an iced coffee (delicious btw, they sure do know how to make iced coffee around these parts haaaaa) sit down and take a breather. On exit I notice strikingly handsome construction worker man loitering on the steps eating lunch. Hello there. I smile, because yay! handsome alert! and he smiles, and then I'm thinking back to my fans and I decide I must just have appeal to the manual labor crowd. It's probably some weird dominate the corporate bitch fantasy, but ick so I discard that thought and just go back to enjoying the pretty face in front of me. And you know I can't do two things at once, so of course while I'm thinking all of this I'm inwardly projecting like a Snoopy cartoon when he has all those pictures above his head and he's just looking up smiling. Looking up, not looking forward, and so naturally I walk FACE FIRST INTO THE FUCKING SCAFFOLDING. sigh. I suppose that's what I get, but still and all. I go from admiring pretty man to almost knocking his coworker down on his head and killing them both. gross, how embarrassing. I take the cosmic hint and try to step back and shake off a little bit of the self love, just enough so I can concentrate on where I'm going. point to you universe, point to you. fucker.

Picture time!!

A small sampling of Guatemala. more at my flickr page later, which I will link to.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Catch up time!

hmmmm...it's been a while, where to begin. I've had lots of fantastic rants come and go through my head over the last couple of weeks, but alas was never near a computer to share them with you all. Which is a bummer, because a couple of them were doozies, but I've forgotten them all at this point.

Any second now, I am going to put my Guatemala pictures up here and on my Flickr site. It was an amazing trip and a beautiful country and I want to go back and spend more time there. I'm newly motivated to square away my affairs and get myself into a position where I can spend more time traveling. I've always had a bit of wanderlust, but actually going someplace is a huge kick in the butt for me. I'm currently trying to devise a realistic plan and timeline to be free, I'll keep you all informed. and I think I'm going to make more of an effort to learn Spanish now. I've got several friends who speak various levels of Spanish, so I can inflict myself upon them for practice and also, in my fantasy I go to Guatemala for a month of Spanish school next year. We'll see. I know it's doable, but there are some sacrifices I have to consider such as giving up living alone in the name of saving money. It's not something I really want to do, but if I took on a roommate or 2 I could bank some serious money. When I'm done with the plan for my liberation, I'll see what change in timeline would be affected by having additional income in the house and make my decision then. I love living alone, but living alone in Baltimore vs living in Guatemala or some other country might be the kicker. Of course, winning the lottery is the ultimate answer but it's not working so far.

ok, I think that's all for now. Technically I should be "working" but in actuality I'm spending lots of time in the library thanks to some Bad Mexican I had the other night. It was so authentic it even came with Montezuma's revenge. doh!