Wednesday, November 29, 2006

good morning?...what's so f*cking good about it!

i'm a wee bit grouchy this morning. adam and i decided to go out for dinner and drinks last night but ended up forgetting to order dinner so i basically had beer for dinner. i mean, it was good beer and i had plenty but the after effects are almost crippling. my head hurts, and in addition to the level II hangover, i'm also getting a cold because all the people around have been sick and i am finally succumbing to their inner filth. joke's on them though, because as soon as everyone is all better, i'm going to cough on their keyboards and give them their stupid germs right back.

i am totally like that.

my super secret knitting project is coming along nicely. i blocked it out last night and wow what a difference. who knew all these old ladies who babble about the life changing power of blocking were actually on to something??? i am now a believer, blocking rules.

i am off to get a cup of coffee and maybe slam my hand in a drawer or 2 to distract from the little man jackhammering away in my skull. heheh. jackhammering.

i just hope the febreeze i sprayed all over myself this morning covers the booze-y smell emanating from my every pore, because the president is in today and i'm not sure it's "professional" to smell like "booze". and i like "quotes"

oooh! maybe i'll "airquote" random comments today and see how people take it. that sounds fun!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

oh, silly workday. aren't you over yet ?

so the bosses have all jumped ship for the day and as i sit here contemplating my pile of grunt work i thought i too would take a little breaky.

have scanned all the celeb blogs to see who's wearing what, screwing who and flashing crotches and i'm still not ready to construct tables in word. (yes, this is what the powers that be have me doing today. i don't really mind i just don't want to do anything)

i tried snacking on some really old cornbread i found in the office, in the hopes that i would get ergotism and be able to hallucinate the day away, but all it did was taste funny. maybe that's a good sign and hallucinations are to follow. if they find me nonresponsive in a pigeon coop later, get my mom.

if i had roof access i would do this right now: mentos + diet coke = big fun. mentos and diet coke rule!

Monday, November 27, 2006

can't sleep, clowns will eat me...

ok, clowns probably won't really eat me but i've been going to bed too early lately, just because i go up when adam does. i only need 6 hours of sleep, so ive been going to bed around 10 with him then waking up at 4. and because 4 is a ridiculous hour, i go back to sleep only then when i get up at 7 i feel like total crap and am exhausted all day. so my new plan is to keep myself up until 1130 or so, then get up at 6. i'm also trying to get back to climbing which i haven't done forever but i'm taking it slow. for now i'll just regulate bedtime and hope that helps.

so far tonight i've knitted, walked the dog, talked to lots of people on the phone. now what ???? reading i guess? devise a plan for world peace ?

i can't wait to be working from home so i can go to the gym during the day when noone is there.

flying solo....and loving it!

so I get into the office this morning and the place is like a ghost town. now, granted, there's only 3 of us who work here so it's never that far from a ghost town but today it was like "it is Monday right and not the weekend?" all dark in the office and stuff. Then there was that glorious moment where I thought it might be sunday and I had just dreamed yesterday. But I checked some stuff and no, it really is Monday. Shortly thereafter, I get a call explaining it all. One guy is sick, and the other girl's pipes have burst so she won't be in today. I have the place to myself. WORD!

and the word is good.

I brought my knitting. I have things to do. I can listen to Dawn and Drew podcast about poop n shit, as loud as I want to. I can do cartwheels if I want. Well, no I really can't but I had the freedom to explore the possibility with noone around to watch me slam into the mail table.

More later for sure, since there will be noone peeking over my shoulder at any point! It's like working from home with a better coffee machine. viva le office solataire!!!!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

and i shall label it "scooters"

so after my post this afternoon, i sat back and thought that i might not have done enough with my holiday weekend. i didn't go hiking, i didn't go for any bike rides, i didn't finish any of the million knitting projects i have started all over the house-i've just been sort of being a bum and i felt like i really didn't do anything.

which is not really true, because i did do some stuff.
for instance, i drank a half gallon of eggnog. on my own. mostly from the carton. and i liked it!! but it makes my stomach hurt. ohh, awful. and i am completely unable not to drink it. i feel compelled. i think it's because i can only get it for like a month each year, i feel like i need to drink it up before it's gone. i love it so much!

i are roughly a pound of beef and 3 sausages. i made sauce with meatballs and sausages this weekend. it was delicious and i matched adam meat for meat. sometimes, a girl just has to indulge her carnivorous side.

i also ate about a whole apple pie the way i figure it. i had some thursday, then i felt ripped off so i made my own on saturday, then we got more delivered today via the leftover gravy train. yep, i've definitely knocked down about a whole pie. so that's something. thank god adam lives with me or i'd be in a diabetic coma by now. you know i would have taken out that whole thing!

i knitted today, while soaking up the sun in the backyard reclining on the dog. she *is* good for something!

then i did some house stuff:
i picked up crap in the backyard. i don't want to talk about it, it's gross. but the dog kept stepping in in and bringing it in, which seemed to be a hint that there might be too much around. ugh.

saturday i plastic wrapped all my windows so the cold air (which is now 72% more costly in my neck of the woods) wouldn't get in. as i was standing in the windows blow drying the stuff, like 5 of my neighbors passed by. now, normally, only 2 of these 5 have anything to say when i see them on the street, but apparently hanging out in the curtainless window with a blow dryer and a beer somehow makes me irresistible because not one of them failed to acknowledge me last night! i felt very red light district-y.

i also cleaned and organized my craft/office/dressing room, and i am pleased- FINALLY! i've seriously moved stuff at least 4 weekends in a row trying to get it all lined up and feeling right. the way my room used to be set up, the desk was in the sightline from the door. now i'm a slob (shoutout!!) and adam's a neat freak and so this arrangement made for frequent, interesting discussions about how someone who's so little (that's me) could have such a huge and giant messy impact in one pretty small room, and threats like "i'm gonna cut a hole in that door so the cat can come and go, but i can't look at it" type stuff. anyhow, it was getting to be a bore and everytime we both passed the room at the same time he was all giving me "the look" so i decided in the name of not doing anything else that i would fix my office on saturday. (well, the last straw in my overcoming my inertia was plastic-ing the windows, because i had to move the desk to do that, and so i thought i would just keep on moving it). anyhow, the way it's set up now, everyone wins because:
-the room finally feels right. i expect some class a arts n crafts to start pouring out of there. any minute now.
-my desk is no longer on the cold wall of the house
-my desk is no longer in sight of the door, so even if it *did* happen to get messy again, noone should see it because noone is banned from my room forever for being disrespectful of my sanctuary and for being generally unpleasant on saturday.
-i got a pile of crap to give to goodwill, so that's less stuff to dust and stub my toes on around the house, and it's good karma which i just know i need.

Kitty had to take it on his old assed chin though. the move necessitated his 8 ft tall kitty kondo of doom being placed near the cold wall. i did however kindly reinforce one of the open sides with triple layer fleece so he has a little warm cave. maybe that will keep him out of my bureau.


anyway, today because i thought i hadn't done anything, i thought i would start with something small and see if that motivated me. so i walked down the street to the local yarn store to ask if they have a sock class coming up. the answer was no and i succumbed to 40 bucks worth of yarn in that process; could have been a total loss, what with my negative cash flow in there and no sock class in sight, but i got a good idea for a fancy scarf that can be made with my limited skill set. it's called the Roman Stripe doesn't it just sound fancy?? i'm pumped, but i don't think i have any free needles to put it on!

and my grand plan didn't work. i was no more motivated to do anything after that than i was before. adam did drag me out to the art museum for a while, but here i be all over again. i might be the laziest person ever. oooh, i should get a trophy! yay!

the only reason i'm on the computer right now is because smarty pants is hogging the tv to watch the history channel and learn, and i'm even too lazy for that shit! since lying around listless is out of vogue (at least until adam leaves) i thought typing would be a nice filler.

i hope this helps people waste time they could otherwise be using to work.

made with lard = made with love

mmmmm. so, I'm mostly recovered from my food coma and back to crafting. I'm knitting up a little somethin' somethin', which I won't be able to show until after next week, because it's probably going to end up as a grab gift for someone.

I hope everyone's holiday weekend was good, and that everyone ate, drank, and be'd merry. I'm currently kicking back with some apple pie that Adam's mom made, and I must say, lard makes a crust. I used to get scared when I would see her whip out her giant can of Crisco, but after having witnessed the baked goodness that comes out of the can, I'm reformed. Lard-less crust just isn't the same. Not to say that I'm going to start using it around my house, mind you but I can see the point.

haha, speaking of baking, the other night Adam asked me to make him a baklava. My initial reaction was "oh honey, you know I don't bake" but upon further discussion, it turns out he meant balaclava, the hat thing. So that's newly added to my knitting list, but it's low priority. In the meantime, I'm just going to whip him up a giant scarf, and he can wrap it around his head a few times and make do, just like the pilgrims.

word.

Monday, November 20, 2006

boo creepy fetus egg!!!

gross! i got the fetus egg!!!! boo!

but i'll get into that later.

had a craptastic day at work, where the development team totally blew me off again. yay. consoled myself with seltzer water and peanut butter cups though, and made it through the day.

its cold out today and i decided that this was a good comfort food day and so i would make that most comfortable of foods, matzoh ball soup. good stuff. anyway, this starts with a basic chicken soup recipe, which i thought i would post for becky and some other people ;o)

this isn't like "sunday afternoon, been saving all my bones and scraps for a month" chicken soup. that's a whole different ride. let's call this "working woman's chicken soup" also "lazy but better than canned" soup.

At the store you need to grab:

Onions
chicken breasts (and thighs if you like dark meat, but i dont)
garlic
Better than Bouillion chicken jar
carrots
celery

and im assuming you have:
spices (pepper, bay leaf, etc)


cut off the leafy part and the bottom of the celery and put it in a pot.
put in an onion, cut into big chunks
put in some garlic
one bay leaf
some pepper
the chicken

cover with water and boil for an hour or so.
pull the chicken out (bbq tongs work well for keeping it together. totally off topic, i love to find alternate uses for kitchen tools. more on this later) strain the stuff in the pot. save the liquid. i use one of those bacon splatter shield screens over a bowl so i get everything out but you can use a regular strainer if you can rig one up to a bowl. well, i usually use a bowl. today i was experimenting and found that adams old metal coffee percolator makes a good gravy/fat separator. shhh...its our secret. :)

so, strain your stuff out somehow.

save the liquid and throw the rest of the stuff out.
put the liquid back in the pot. (you could probably rinse the pot out first)

chop up some celery and carrots and add to the liquid. cut up an onion and dice some garlic, add some more pepper etc. taste it, it might be bland. add some of the Better than Bouillion. go slow with this, too much is a very gross thing.

cook it about 20 min. during this time, you should be picking the chicken meat. boiling makes it fall right off the bone, so youre basically just pulling the skin off and making sure no bone gets in. just put the meat aside and toss the gunk. once youre done with this, throw it in the liquid.

cook the whole mess another 30 min or something. hours good too. whatever.

so, at this point you can do a couple of things. which brings me to the egg.

i had decided earlier that my soup was going to be matzoh ball soup. i was pretty excited, because a)matzoh ball soup rules and is delicious and also b) it was going to be my little twist on it. like matzoh ball BAM! soup with some kick you know? anyhow.

i bought 6 hippy eggs- the run free little bird ones- at the store, because for matzoh balls you need like 3 or 4. so im here, 2 hours into this soup and i go to make the matzoh balls and on the 4th egg the 4th egg i say i crack it into the bowl and its the nasty creepy 1 in a million fetus egg. so sad. the other eggs were contaminated: i cant take it! that sketches me out. i tossed them all and no matzoh balls for me. i have some couscous and some egg noodles so im good, but its so not the same. maybe ill add a little spinach now too. i was keeping it basic, because MBS should be, but now i can do some more stuff.

about my weekend

So, I didn't do much of anything this weekend (shocker) and it ruled. Friday after I got home, unpacked my loot and ate my pizza I was sitting on the couch being a total loaf when I decided I should do something productive, even just a little bit. I went upstairs to the craft room/construction zone and decided I would do some stuff in there. I had bought all kinds of shelves for the wall and crap, not to mention some actual work I had to do and projects I'm in the middle of.

While faffing about trying to decide what to work on, I thought a good twirl was in order so I throw one leg out and around and twirl. it was then that I discovered I had missed a sliver of glass. Remember the stupid glass that fell in the middle of the night last week? well apparently I didn't get all of it, and somehow a piece worked itself into my sock and was currently residing near that part of the foot that you put your weight on to twirl. So by twirling, what I actually did was corkscrew the glass into my foot. fucking ow. and blood. wow did it bleed. Now, I'm not particularly motivated on Friday nights anyway, and after removing the glass and bleeding all over the place, my will was gone. back to the couch with me, where it's safe and I can loaf without injury.

I did try some knitting, but I f*cked up the 2nd stitch. It just seemed like one of those days where everything I touched went wrong. I was definitely not about to touch a database (remember I said I had work to do?) in this condition, nor did the signs bode auspicious for repairing my keyboard. Grey's it was, only now I had a serious measure of self pity to go with it. You know I cried!!!


Saturday was ok. I went to get coffee at my favorite coffee place, but it was like "bring your kid to cafe" day, so it really wasn't that peaceful. I just need quiet in the morning, especially before my coffee. I hate to sound like a bitch, but since I am I will get over it. Why let your children run rampant at 8am when noone in the place is ready for it? We're *here* because we're not ready for the world and need coffee. Please keep junior to your table while I caffeinate. Yes, sure, he's cute, but keep pudding over at your table. You birthed him, you toted him around this morning, YOU ought to be the one who has to pay for it. not me. F this "it takes a village crap" I'm not from your village. come get your irritating kid.
I think I'm going to open a coffee shop where, if I can't directly discourage the presence of children, I can at least have a room for people who don't want to deal with them.
ugh.

The rest of the day was spent working around the house- mostly making and unmaking decisions about where to put things in my office/changing room/craft center. The feng shui isn't right and I can't figure it out so I've been reduced to experimenting until it feels better. This went on all day and at about 5 I crashed. I was due for a big sleep so I took it, and conked out until roughly 8 am yesterday.

Yesterday was housecleaning and craft cleanup day. I finished up some minor projects around the house and started digging for xmas decorations. Call me CVS, but xmas is coming early to my block. Commence operation excessive garland and lighting!!

Pictures would make this story more interesting but Adam took my camera away for the weekend.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Tale of 2 days

What an awesome and shitty day.

the good: -I didn't get fired
-I will once again be working from home, and making deals in my pj's
-Until then, I can have the window cubicle (<-YYYES!!!!)
-I saw the *best* present idea for a friend today, and I can't wait to give it to her.
-had a giant pizza and buffalo wings for dinner.

the bad: I'm actually not even going to whine about the bad, because the good is pretty good. ok, maybe a little. I'm bummed because my working from home means the office manager loses her job and I won't be working with her :o( gross.


but I am pretty happy. I'm excited about work, I think it's about to get interesting.

so far so good

so they let one person go this morning. i asked if i'm going to be fired and they said no- we'll see.

then I asked if I could have fired guy's cubicle as he has a window and I don't and it will also put me in a better position to see the office manager, who is a friend of mine.

hahaha, friend enough to tell me it was tacky to ask for his cube while he's still waiting for the elevator and that maybe after lunch would be better. thanks homegirl!!

we do lots of eyebrow raising at each other throughout the course of the day.

TGIF!!

I'm feeling pretty good. It's Friday (yay!). Adam's gone for the weekend, so begins master plan of "stay at home crafting, fixing and watching Grey's in bed with the animals and sniffling at completely random intervals" Hopefully by the end of the weekend I'll be wearing a homemade hat, because I learned how to knit in the round Weds night and I'm going to try to rock it! There's also a couple of craft fairs and some artisan sales I want to hit. This is going to be the year I get all my xmas shopping done, I can feel it.

I'm kicking it in the office alone (I love being the first one in), enjoying my coffee and surfing people.com to see what the famous people are wearing this week.

Now the bad part: today is shakedown day at work. Something's up, all the Execs are flying in which can only mean something bad. Here's hoping I'm still standing when the dust settles. I have my power outfit on just in case. Got a triple shot fancy coffee too. I really felt like I needed the mental edge. My overall vibe says "I'm hip, classic and intelligent. Please don't fire me"

hahaha

Wish me luck, theyre starting to trickle in...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I might be a giant bitch.

disclaimer: Still in a mood most foul. Probably only close friends will get through this whole thing. and by close I mean bored at work.

Kicking it at home tonight, still not really in the mood to do anything.......glad I had knitting class last night, because I couldn't take 3 days of this craptastic-ness.

looking forward to My Name is Earl. I think Earl and The Office have really brought back the Thursday night for me. Maybe it's because I got a job I have to leave the house for and stuff- I'm not sure if it's that the shows are new, or I'm a working stiff now or what, but Thurs is a welcome day for me. Funny shows are on, and tomorrow is Friiiiiiiday. yay! :) It's almost as good as Friday, which is awesome. But Monday is poo... Anyway, back to Thursday and Earl. and me :o)

oh, speaking of poo, and The Office. Today, work was a trip. The whole day was just surreal. First off, the weather was jacked We had the in-between of whatever is going on in the NJ area and the NC area, so we had all kinds of storms but they were blowing through so fast! It seemed like every time I looked out the window it was alternating sunny and black clouds. Then it finally rained and we had all these whack flooding drains on our street, which was interesting to observe from the building. People really lose their shit when it rains around here. Then after the rain, there was a double rainbow, and I knew suddenly that Nick and I weren't meant to be and that I needed to go home and get a divorce.

Then, things are all crazy at work because we're in the middle of some "restructuring". Some are taking it better than others, and I happen to share a cube wall with one of the ones who's taking it badly. In many ways he is like a child; and so I yell at him. Not like *yell* yell, but speak strongly. I am trying to keep it constructive, like Dr Phil or someone, but I think I'm more like Judge Judy. just a bitch, but man he makes it so hard to be otherwise. Maybe I'm more like Jan Levenson. Not bitchy but intolerant . Yes. In fact, I rule. Think about if you worked with a guy, who was a jerk and whiny and not good enough at his job to compensate for either of these traits. Add in a little chauvinism, nothing overt but definitely there. and fucking petulant as all hell when he doesn't get his way. I know it's not just me who's dated/known/been related to guys like this. He always has to have the last word, and often mumbles either when he's walking away after we argue or sitting in his cube WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT TO MINE. Hi! I can HEAR YOU! it's annoying! anyway. so imagine you don't answer to him, he's completely lateral in the company and you're stuck right up on him daily. Now sprinkle with PMS and that's where I'm at. And for some reason, when I'm bitchy I get very smart (like Will Ferrell at the debate in Old School) and make excellent speeches, and am moved to give them frequently- I have the complete lack of ability to refrain from speaking my mind (and this is not just a work problem, this has been a lifelong struggle for me). I even try to muzzle myself-but it doesn't work and blunt truths just abound from me. Maybe I have that half autism where you just can't filter stuff. Then again, if I have it all my friends must have it too. and my family. hahahaa. That's funny to think.
Sorry, off topic. So anyway, this guy is like Dwight from The Office with less social grace (?) and a way shittier attitude. and he can't do anything to me - he has no effect on me workwise other than irking me. and he won't just act normal. Let me know if you've been here, because I might just be a giant bitch. But I feel like he's the kind of person who brings out the worst in me because he's a jerk (and I try not to let it get to me but it does)but weirdly submissive or something and he just ignites confrontation. If he doesn't like the answer you give him to a question, he just comes back every 5 min with a badly disguised rewrite of the same thing- he gets totally hung up on things. He offers opinions loudly when noone has asked for them. And he most especially offers his opinion -loudly- if anyone else is ever asked for theirs- and if he hears part of a discussion, he will come back later and ask you about the rest. No boundaries. His catch phrase is "you gotta understand" and he uses it with everyone he talks to. I tried nicely a couple of times to explain that no, every other person in the world does not gotta understand, and that that is not justification of any sort for any behavior which someone points out as inappropriate or unacceptable. It never occurs to him that he might be the one who has to understand. Anyway, he's basically a constant source of irritation, and I think I'm gratuitously mean to him and I'm struggling because I don't really feel bad about it, even though rationally I know that means I'm a giant bitch. lol, the question is do I care?
He totally deserves it, but those are always the people most puzzled when they get it. argh.

Anyway, I'm off to watch my Thursday shows and go back to my happy place.

I won't get into my commute home because I don't want to poison you with all my venom today. and because my shows are on. (hint, see above report about weather)

woe is me, and I am woe



a pic is worth 1000 words but that wont stop me. more bitching later!

have I ever told you that my mother calls me "Poison lips" ??

So, sorry I never got back to you about my dinner the other night. it was a disaster. I mean, noone got sick or anything but it wasn't good, and my coping skills are pretty weak this week so it was really hard for me.

First off, I got some whack ass generic brand chicken that tricked me by being in a Purdue looking package. I FALL FOR THIS ALL THE TIME- I really need to start reading labels. Apparently, the horrible conditions under which you raise your chicken make a big difference, because this shit was nasty. It was just tough and not good. Think I got an old assed chicken or something- and I know it's not me, I can make chicken ok. Anyway, all I did was bread it with some bead crumbs and spices (homemade Shake n Bake) and bake it.

Then, I made lentil and rice pilaf, which is always delicious except if you accidentally use sticky rice like I did, then it's just weird. Enter strains of that old song "so close, yet so far away".

The third and final straw was that I had a broccoli craving, so I bought 3 lbs of broccoli (seemed reasonable at the time. In retrospect it was probably too much), then I couldnt think of how I wanted it, so I just ate a bunch raw. So by the time my subpar dinner was ready, I was fat full of broccoli. I mean, I guess there are worse things to be full of, but it was all so unsatisfying!

After the whole dinner disaster, I just lied around bemoaning my fate and trying to decide what to do with myself but there was nothing I wanted to do! Knitting? no. Sewing? no. Reading? no. Walking? no. Working? Aahahahahahahahahha. sorry, I meant no.

I motored around a little trying to find something that felt worth doing but couldn't so I finally just plopped my butt down on the couch so at least I had one part of my brain taken care of and I could just sit and ruminate on nothing in particular and just overall be pissy and yell "ugh!" every 10 min or so. Truly an example of a miserable person was I.

I should just put a big sign on my head that says " I have PMS and am wracked with non specific cravings and can not be satisfied. don't bother trying to please me, I'm destined to be miserable. Just go away." In fact, I think I might. It would save me the trouble of shooting people dirty looks or ignoring them when they come into my cubicle.

and then there's work....can't say much right now but it's pretty intense. And I'm a lazy person who has had it pretty good for a while, so this whole "Corporate Barbie working late all the time" crap is taking its toll. TGtomorrow's F!!!


Adam's going away this weekend and I'm going to do nothing-stuff all weekend. Nothing-stuff is that peculiar breed of things you do, which aren't very important in the grand scheme of things, but they occupy your time and make you happy and you have end results so you feel productive. This weekend's planned nothing-stuffs include a trip to the thrift store because I need Xmas sweaters for the whole family, hitting up the stich n bitch downtown to make fun with some old ladies, some miscellaneous crafty work around the house, minor carpentry and shelf hanging, and cooking something delicious which I will proceed to pig out on while I watch Grey's Anatomy Season 2 and sniffle, while in bed WITH THE ANIMALS (Adam's going away...paaaaaaarty). Grey's is my dirty little secret. I watch it on my computer when Adam's not around so he doesn't see my cry at all the silly girly moments- damn them! Once again, secret blogs rule.

And I'll probably work on "Operation: Bark, Howl and Dance when I say Snookums" a little bit too. She's coming along, but hopefully this weekend will be like boot camp and we can get way ready.

Ok, I'm back to making busy in the cubicle. Check back later for more bitching and tales of completley inappropriate nasty reactions to innocent comments made by the annoying man in the cube next to me. Wish him luck, I'm in rare form today.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

tidbits

im listening to Nelly Furtado (All) on my ipod while i troll for anything interesting i might want to add to my breaded chicken. so far, little luck but i had the best idea and i needed to share it with like 5 people so im posting it here.

i'll post my dinner recipe later, its going to be quite a treat if i do say so. breaded chicken, lentil/rice pilaf and broccoli, gussied up somehow (im not sure exactly how yet). look for it later.

so back to me: i havent told adam about my new blog site and i dont think im going to. i think im going to start playing practical jokes on him intermittently, and posting the resulting hijinks here.

to start with, and this goes to show you that i dont bear slights slightly; this goes back to the crazy dog lady comment. upon further reflection, the insult is magnified because he was in my craft room when he said this. i get to be crazy in here, its my haven. to the basement with thee, hippy!

anyhoo. so not only am i going to start calling star snookums, im working to train her to bark whenever its said. so ill say "snookums" she'll say "what" (or whatever it is in dog, i know they dont really say "what") this will of course necessitate use of the name Snookums going undercover for a while, at least around the house, while we finish up training but its going well and i am hopeful that i can have this done before the holidays. and i can definitely keep it quiet here at home if i can talk about it online. i keep irish secrets, which means i only tell 1 person. i can totally not tell adam before its time as long as i can can tell someone. secret blogs rule!


look for updates, suggestions for irritating stuff to do to him are welcome. nothing that will cause bodily harm though, just funny stuff.

Monday, November 13, 2006

stunning developments

i was in the middle of what was shaping up to be a pretty funny post that included some pictures of my dog when out of nowhere she f'ing jumped on my laptop and trashed that sh*t! Who does that?? Suddenly after 8 years together, the last 5 of which have consisted of me with a laptop going pretty much all the time, she doesnt know what it is???? I'm on the edge of the bed too, so when she couldn't find purchase, she raked her nails over the keyboard and took out like 5 keys AND the underlying circuits. new keyboard = mandatory

she messed my junk UP! I guess she doesnt like being called snookums (youll get it when i have enough of a keyboard left to finish my post.) F!!



There are no victimless crimes.

crazy dog lady ???

so Adam called me crazy animal lady the other day. I immediately thought "he has no idea" my second thought was "crazy? ju wanna see crazy mang?" and so I thought I'd introduce him to my new friend Ima. As in "Ima show your ass what crazy looks like"

Star's name is being immediately changed to Snookums, and Kitty, aka Mr Cat, well. That one sort of speaks for itself. Maybe I'll call him kitty-witty or something.

So in the spirit of madness, here is my first all animal, all the time post:
Here's Snookums looking very sorry after being busted eating cat poo. Look she feels shame! Isn't she the smartest!!


Here's Snookums catching some rays under the rake. Cos, you know. Rakes rule n shit.


Here's Snookums writhing around ecstatically on my knittig. My animals like to showcase their junk for whatever reason.




Here's Snookums and Mr Cat snuggling on the couch. Snookums isn't a big fan, but Mr Cat is persistent and in the end, Snookums is a very very lazy dog and not likely to give up the couch.



Here's a shot of Mr Cat's junk. He loves the ladies to see his stuff!

There. I feel as if I've scratched the crazy lady surface. Off to eat now.

How much info is too much info??

So I just played a mean game of "Bathroom Survivor" with some lady from the Mortgage company down the hall. If you're not into tales of bathroom exploits, leave now. I won't be graphic, but I'm totally going there.

So I realize that I'm going to have "to go" while at work. It's less than ideal but I'm stocked fresh full of Cottonelle clean wipes so I can deal. I start scouting comings and goings in the ladies room, as I prefer privacy when handling certain aspects of my "business" (privacy or a certain degree of familiarity. no problem pooping while friends are in there with me. not *INTHERE* but nearby. anyway, i digress). So I'm stalking the ladies room, which is easy to do since it's right next to my office and I sit near the door. When I feel the coast is clear I gather up my wipes and head in. psyche! I own the place.

I pick my stall (the one with the seat up, so you know it's pristine and hasn't been used since he washed it) and get settled. THEN the door opens, and my privacy and sanctity are violated- unfair universe!!! But it's ok. It's cool, I can hold this. It's not urgent, I got a minute. She heads in the handicapped stall and right away I get a little concerned. That's usually for serious business but I'm not sweating it. Then silence, and I know what's going on. She's gotta go too and is waiting for me to finish so she can let loose. Only I'm not done, haven't even gotten started, so I'm not going anywhere. I'm chilling there, thinking through the possibilities....I could just go for it, but I ate Mexican and I don't know what's going to happen. Could be embarrassing, unless I can get done, clean up and wash my hands and be out of there before she finishes....but what if I see her while I'm washing my hands or something ?? Could be majorly embarrassing, and what if she tells her friends about what she heard ?? Neurotic yes, but this ending is written off as undesirable and subsequently discarded.

Option 2 is to retreat, but like I said I had Mexican and while it's doable I'd really feel better if I could get this off my chest (so to speak).

The third option is to wait it out. I risk a peek under the stall to assess my opponent. She's wearing spike heels...uh oh this means she's tough. I have crazy respect for women who wear heels all day. I couldn't do it. Not only would I slip fall and die before I got out of the house, I couldn't keep them on all day. They hurt . So I'm pondering her heels, starting to think I might be up against a brick wall here, and that I might have met my match, when I spot HAIR coming down. She's checking me out too! I manage to snap out of my spike heel induced self examination just in time to get out of there before we make eye contact under the stall (which has happened before and is SO weird). So now I know she has to go bad enough that she too has begun to assess the competition. My shoes are sensible, and I'm wondering what she thinks of me.

Now. What she doesn't know, and I can't tell her is that my bosses are all in Vegas. I have all day. Literally. and I'm not afraid to use it. I don't know what happened, but she has suddenly become The Enemy, and there are now principles at stake (no idea which principles, but some for sure). I can't just get up and run because some Amazonian bimbo has given herself divine rights over another campers parade. Well I could but I won't. I WILL NOT LOSE.

Yet I'm still strangely frozen in place. I can't go, because now it's been like 10 minutes and we're hanging out so if I was going to go I should have just done by now. Chances of meeting her while I'm washing my hands are now crazy high, and I'm not prepared to take the risk. But I can't leave, because I'm committed to this project, plus that would mean all the time I already spent in here was wasted.

We stalemated for a few minutes, and I'm seriously starting to worry. I mean, I have the will to win, but is my duodenum on board ? Can we last??? Just when I'm starting to think I'm going to have to break down and "go with a stranger near me" I hear the sigh. and in one moment, I know the truth. I WIN. I have outlasted, outwitted and out something-ed else her. I will once again be queen of the hill, left alone to live my excremental reign in peace and privacy.

Glamazon gets up, spends a serious couple of minutes f'ing with her pantyhose (must be control top) then stops by the mirror to fix her face before leaving. I peeked to see who it was so I can make completely baseless "I own you" faces at her whenever I see her in the hall. Not that she knows who I am (unless we meet again and she recognizes my shoes) But still....I win :o)

my new home

so, adam needed his cyberspace and i've been booted off cliffdwellerpottery. notice i'm not linking to his page, it's my little form of protest. i bet it lasts at least a week

viva la resistance!!

he was all bunched up by the pictures of me and my friends (like we dont make any page we're on better!!) on his "serious pottery" sight so i'm taking my show on the road, and PEACE to cliffdweller, eat my dust n shit. he's anti-sparkle, i don't even know how this is going to work out between us. anyway, just as a lark, let's start the countdown until "serious pottery" site contains any pottery shall we? in the name of "i'm going to bring this up to him every day until he does something with it" ness. and the holiday spirit.

although it might actually be soon that he gets going, since his ass was locked in the basement like a hobbitt all weekend making giant jars and stuff. he also made the transition to porcelain, which is exciting. last night he made 10 little plates and 10 big ones, in preparation for a dish set he's making for his cousin.

next on my list of things i need him to make me is a bean pot. i love beans and i want a special bean pot, with nice big handles i can pick up even with oven mitts on.

so i started a new knitting project last night, with the last of my stash of green Rowan Polar yarn. it's pretty and i'm making one scarf for me, and one for courtney (hi honey!). i'm going to post the picture of mine, which is ribbed but not of court's which is a little fancier. i'd post pics this morning, but for some reason i left my digital camera at home like a dumbass. now i have nothing to do here but work. and blog :o)

i'll post pics from the weekend later. i haven't yet gotten into the crazy animal lady bit online, so i'm going to do that too. i took some pics of the petters this weekend doing funny stuff so look for those later, probably tomorrow since management will still be out of the office, affording me the luxury of uninterrupted cubicle olympics. i've decided to fully embrace my inner crazy old lady. i'm just not going to give this address to anyone who doesn't already know about her

Saturday, November 11, 2006

cheese a palooza

listening to: Six Feet Under volume 2.

I'm on a bit of a kick with this CD. It's my new cooking music. It's very interesting and diverse.

So for no particular reason other than I haven't in a while, I'm cooking up a storm today. Of messy stuff too, not just soup in a pan.

spinach artichoke dip deluxe and mexican dip deluxe. there is a LOT of cheese involved in this day. then when those come out of the oven, im heading up the street to get some guinness and making guinness beef stew. it's a little warm out today, but i've been thinking about it for weeks so i'm just going for it.

this is the recipe i'm using for beef stew. it's awesome. i use more beer and more vegetables than they do.
http://www.recipe-source.com/soups/stews/03/rec0322.html


cheers!
-k

insomniac theater


currently listening to: damien rice, o

i guess its not that insomniac-y anymore, since this (5am) is a normal time for people to get up. not me, but people like the people who take the bus and truck drivers and stuff. but i've been up since 3. i broke a stupid glass (yes it was stupid. why else was it on the sink ledge? i am crabby and refuse all blame) when i went to pee and then i had to clean it up and by the time i was done, i was wide awake. so im kicking it and thought i would post the soup recipe, as promised. times like now i wish i had nintendo.

meow, i did try to measure for this because i said i would but it's annoying and i'm impatient, so i only measured the stuff that i thought really mattered. i would just say to all the people who think they need exact amounts that they should relax, or google a recipe. err on the side of caution when adding more stuff but the awesome thing about soup is that if you overdo something you can just add water and make more soup. so just try stuff.


This takes about an hour start to finish, but can be sped up if you're starved.

Here's what you need to get at the store:

Lentils, 1 bag.
Onions
Garlic
Jalapeno, 1 fresh
Better than boullion paste. Don't get the cubes, it is *not* the same. It comes in a little jar, and is in the soup aisle or the spice aisle, depending on your store.
Frozen veggies- get what you like. Adam and I buy bags by the dozen so we always have a selection, but if you're not ready to commit like that i'd say at least get 1 mix bag (carrots, peas, corn and lima beans), one bag of CHOPPED spinach, and chopped broccoli (the little little pieces)

Optional extras:
Barley
instant mashed potatoes
rice or something

Stuff I'm assuming you have in your spice rack:
spices (at least a few of these: parsley, cumin, oregano, salt, black pepper, thyme, bay leaf)

Get a pan out.

Chop the onion
chop the garlic
chop the jalapeno.

Put it all in the pan. wash your hands. WASH YOUR HANDS. jalapeno in the eye hurts like a motherfuc*er. wash the cutting board and the knife too, and wash your hands again. seriously. when you get it in the eye, think of me, i understand your pain.

Put 8 cups of water, less bouillion stuff than they say to, 1 bay leaf, 1 chopped onion, the jalapeno, chopped up (i use the seeds and all, it's totally your call) a bunch of garlic (whole cloves, chopped, minced, all of the above- use a lot, it gets very sweet when you cook it in soup, and it's good for you), 1 cup of lentils, and some spices in a pan. don't use more than 1tsp of cumin, or thyme. those 2 are things that it's bad when you use too much of. pepper, parsley, garlic etc are things i think you would be hard pressed to ruin something with. put this conglomerate on high until it boils, then lower it to simmer or you'll blow out your lentils. now go away for 30 min or so. why don't you do some dishes or something?

when you come back, taste your stuff. it should be delicious. if it's not, add some more stuff. if it's delicious, add the veggies and turn it up to medium. 20 minutes and soup's on.

If it's cold out or this is your lunch and you're hungry, throw some instant mashed potatoes in your bowl, it thickens the soup up enough to make it feel like a meal. Barley's good in it too, but never use more than 1/4 cup- seriously use WAY less than you think you should. That should be added when you first start everything, it takes like 45 min to cook.

Thursday, November 9, 2006

mmm, more pottery. giant pottery

So Adam got another load from the wood kiln this week, and in it was his giant vase which will hopefully be accepted for the student art show coming up.

Here's a picture of him gazing wistfully at his pot. He's in love with it. I think they're probably doing it right now
The sweet, sweet caress...





Do you two want to be alone ?







Seriously though, it's very nice and HUGE. It's currently livening up the stairway landing for those of you familiar with the place. I'm going to get som stick-y things to stick in it. It's gonna be awesome.

Here are some solo shots from the front and back:


The imprints and flashes of color are from the shells he laid it on in the kiln.

This load also contained a bunch of mugs, which I will take pictures of probably this weekend, and some bowls which I am looking forward to filling with noodles and peanut butter sauce. mmmmmmm

the soup

I'm off to create a new batch right now, and this time I'm going to measure for the people. The soup rules. It's cheap, delicious, good for you, versatile AND it keeps you regular. Yep, it's official, I'm getting old. I care about things like being kept regular. Don't wrinkle your nose just because the subject is poop. We all know how much it sucks when that highway is sluggish.

And another solid point in the pro column of the soup is that it's fast cheap and easy as a meal. You just make a bunch and stick it in the fridge and if you're too lazy to cook just eat the soup. Don't have time to cook, heat up some soup. Got the snakkity snaks? have some soup, maybe just a little. It's pretty much nutritionally complete as a meal as far as I can tell so when you're in a slump or a lazy phase, or having a crazy week (we all have them) you can pretty much live off it without worrying you're doing something bad to your body or depriving it of anything. Maybe grab a multivitamin just in case.

The soup and a multivitamin. mmmm. and some diet coke. now this is living.

Anyway, I'll be back later with more tales of soupy goodness.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Bachelorette Party Goodness

The bachelorette party went off without a hitch, all the stressing, fretting, freaking out and planning paid off. We started the day at a salon on Newbury St that I refuse to name because I didn't like them that much ;o) From there it was onto lunch and the start of festivities at the Ritz. Jenn and Court went early to set things up in the room (ice for the champagne and other important stuff) and then Holly, Christy, Kristina and I followed. For some reason I got put in charge of driving and directions. We made it to the Ritz, grabbed our giant box of penis cookies and headed up to the 10th floor, walking in like we owned the place. Sadly we were at the *wrong* Ritz, so when we were unable to find the right room number, we shuffled the party downstairs to try to get the car back from the valet and get directions to the right hotel, about 5 blocks away. The new Ritz was WAY better and our room totally kicked ass. The bathroom was big enough for all of us to be in there at once, which we did (because we could). As in all classy institutions, the toilet is segregated for the sanity of all.

I had a little brush with fame too. while waiting for the elevator I noticed the other guy waiting looked familiar. After racking my brain I figured out it was Artie from the Howard Stern show. I asked him to be sure and he confirmed. After that I completely ran out of things to say, I have no idea why. I don't think I was starstruck, but when else has anyone heard of me being quiet?? Anyway, it was enough for me. I didnt take his picture because he was tired and said he had just been on the road. I know that feeling and I didn't want to be obnoxious. It would have been nice to have proof though!

So after opening ceremonies and pregame, we headed out to the Cactus Club to meet with Holly's family for dinner and some drinks. Shenanigans began almost immediately, when someone in the crowd was peer pressured into tossing a pink feather boa onto a stuffed moose:

Luckily, only one staff member saw this and like all good apathetic employees, he just smiled and kept his mouth shut.

Well you can dress us up, and take us out, but looks can be deceiving...

Like Holly here: See how pretty and classy she looks? We all looked that nice...for about 20 minutes.





















As the night wore on, the class started rubbing off a bit. me ? Belligerent? noooooooo

I'm just being really enthusiastic!

Towards the end of the night, relations went downhill. I think Whitney Plousston sums it up nicely:
I think she's saying "why do we have to leave? only 6 of us have fallen, hardly any of us are hurt, and noones going to remember any of it in the morning!"













So it was back to the Ritz with us, where we talked more about the bigger issues in life,

Come morning, it was ugly: Not us, the room. Apparently during the late night shenanigans and multiple fallings down, wrestling matches, pig piles and other festivities, we trashed that place like rock stars. go us!!

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

The Tiara

Dun dun da dunnnnnnnnn, dun dun da dunnnnnn....

That's the wedding march or whatever it's called for those of you who can't hear the tunes in my head. Holly's bachelorette party is this weekend and preparations are underway. I've started work on the tiara, it's coming along nicely.

Who needs a stinking $30 monstrosity??? Not Holly. Nope, she needs a monstrosity of a whole different sort, one that was made with love (nothing against sweatshops)

So here are a couple of photos I snagged with my cameraphone, because my real camera was here at work:


This is the beginning . I tried *everything* to twist those f*cking letters. In the end, none of my trickery worked and I had to do it by hand, with just some elbow grease. and some beer.




Here's a pic from halfway through,
just after I got the letters attached to the tiara part. It's way more obnoxious now, I've added some sparkles and flowers and pearls (oh my), but I got all mad scientist about it and completely forgot to keep taking pics. I'm going to have to work on this.

More pics soon, stay tuned to see the final product!!!




Ok, here is a later series picture. It's not quite done yet, I think it needs more cowbell!!!