Do you use your powers for good, or for awesome?: oh yes i did.

so last night I decided I was bored and wanted to go out, but I didn't feel like going out alone for a change so I thought I would post a brief ad on craigslist and see who was out there.

here's what i posted:

Hi there,

30yo female, going out to dinner tonight because I am sick of cooking and I wouldn't mind some company. I live in Hampden, would prefer something within walking distance (Hon cafe, Dizzy's, maybe even something over by Hopkins)

gender, age, race, unimportant. This will be a dutch affair (each pays their own way), you're not getting laid, and I may or may not decide to hang out with you again.

For now, all I want is a dinner companion.

Seems like it's pretty straightforward right? Here's a few of the responses I got...(caps and grammar preserved for your reading pleasure)

I CAN AFFORD BOTH DINNERS< BUT > WHAT AM I GOING TO SEE ? WHAT''S YOUR FIELD OF EXPERTISE>>?????? HOW BRIGHT ARE YOU??? I'm a dwm, 6' 175lbs, most of the right stuff.. A RETIRED MAGAZINE PHOTOGRAPHER & LIVE NEAR BY>>>""" THAT'S -30-

I don't know dude, what are you going to see? not me, that's for damn sure. you use too many >, and " and ? for my comfort. Seriously, sometimes one is enough. Plus, THE FACT THAT YOU RANDOMLY TYPE THINGS BOLD AND ALL IN CAPS MAKES ME THINK YOU MIGHT BE FUCKING NUTS!!!
How bright am I? brighter than to answer your sorry ass. "most of the right stuff"??? you can kiss "most of" my ass, cracker!
my field of expertise? It's lunatic detection. What's that beeping? Oh, you're setting off my "fucking nuts"-o-meter. ciao!
"retired" riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight hahahahahahaha, "retired". that was great, thanks man.
"that's -30-"? *what* is 30? WHAT IS 30 DAMN YOU!!!

Hi, I loved that part about not getting laid! Seems like that's all anybody wants. I am also from Hampden and would love to take you to dinner and chat. Maybe we could meet before at my place. I live alone and would like to get out now and then. Thanks, Dick Email for phone no.

Hi Dick: I love that you love that part about not getting laid. I actually meant forcibly in addition to of my own volition. No, you fucking twat I do not want to come to your random ass man from the internet house and see if you might slip me a roofie or something! What the hell is the matter with you anyway???
what the hell kind of last name is Email for phone no. I think you mean: "email for phone?" "no"
READ: I SAID DUTCH MOTHER FUCKER!!! don't offer to buy me dinner. usually non offensive, but I *said* in the ad that it was platonic, and dutch and no laid! take me to dinner, you ain't taking me nowhere fool! you're not buying me shit, I'm not coming to your house, and you won't knock me out and tie me up in your basement and make me live there doing your weird laundry until I escape one fateful day because you leave the door open when you go to work. NEVER!!!!!

Have a pic?? I'm in federal hill.. Wanna meet somewhere in bewteen? Sent via BlackBerry from Cingular Wireless

Have a pic? = "I think I'm getting laid" or "I'm too pretty to hang out with people not as pretty as me" SUCK IT
?? .. = "I am compulsive. I can not use a single punctuation point or I FREAK OUT. I REALLY need you to know what I mean? You know what I mean?" PASS!
Wanna meet somewhere in between? nope, that's why the ad said Hampden fool. beat it!
"sent via BlackBerry wireless" = "I am sooooooo important, and I am soooooooo mobile. look at me. I can surf CL from my handheld and email random chicks who say I'm not getting laid, but I better get a picture anyway, just in case. Cause you know, ugly people probably don't make good dinner companions" I'm so tempted to show up looking purty and then pick my nose at the table or something. haaaa. that would be fucking funny. I might take it there someday, but not today.

Do I even need to say that I ended up staying in alone ?

honestly, people. HONESTLY!!!