Happy Happy Hump Day y'all!!!

wow, this day has been a rollercoaster of emotions already. I'm impacting the people of the world though, so that's very personally gratifying.

I woke up pretty happy because I slept in, and I had had a good night (with a weird ending, offline discussion for the ladies) My good night involved salsa lessons, my date Joe and the hot instructor Luis, who like every man's nightmare swooped in and decided I needed "one on one" lessons so he stuck my date with some other chick and took me over to a private corner to work. Everyone won though: Joe, because he got to dance with someone at his level and actually learn shit, and he got to leave with me. Luis, because he got to dance with me (duh) and me, because I got to dance with Luis (holy hotness batman!) and leave with Joe. Seriously, no losing there, for anyone. I might go back for a private lesson with Luis because he intrigues me, but I couldn't think of a tactful way to explore that with Joe there, and Joe looks like he might have some sweet moves, and also intrigues me (albeit slightly less than Luis at this point- I think it's the accent). So that was that, back to my day so far.

This morning was a little bumpy. I ran late (sat on my couch drinking coffee and reading gossip rags online), didn't have any pants ready to go, ran out of Downy wrinkle releaser and don't iron. So I put the pants in the dryer for a while with a wet towel hoping it would help. It didn't but I'm wearing them anyway, because there's nothing in my contract about professional dress or personal hygiene, so quite frankly at this point they're lucky I shower in the morning. Also, I spent 20 minutes waiting for them to come out of the dryer and I wasn't prepared to abandon my time investment by not even wearing them. It's the principle of the thing.

The ride in was gross, hit lots of traffic, but the bonus was that I found my dance party jammy jam CD so that was nice. I decided I could use the time afforded to me by the traffic to practice my sweet moves, at least from the waist up. If you have to sit in traffic, make it a dance party. Time totally flies when you're having fun, it's true. It was made even better by the fact that I managed to hit every word of that Beyonce' song about burning people's shit when they fuck you over. I'm totally digging that song this week, and getting all the words right was just gratifying. I noticed the guy next to me noticing my dance party, and I couldn't help think how bored he looked so I thought I would brighten his day. I decided I would use him to practice my video vixen face and I gave him a special repeat performance of the burn your shit song from my car. He was in hysterics, my work here is done. I'm leaving Baltimore anyway and as far as I'm concerned the more pubic humiliation I rack up before I go, the more motivation I have to leave. right?

then I arrive at giant medical institution that shall remain nameless to begin the day's work and drive my car into the wall in the parking garage. Not hard, no airbag or anything, just sort of like "Hey now, I'm in! " My car is plastic, little, 10 years old and all dinged up. It's practically an amusement park sanctioned bumper car, and I like to treat with the respect it deserves. As I was getting out of my car, some old guy stops to tell me that I should be careful. I give him my brightest smile and say "why?". Silence. Consternation. "Young lady, you just drove into a wall" Smile "I know. I'm not following you" Smile. Silence. Consternation. Horror?. It felt good and I threw him another winning smile and went on my merry way. That was nice. For all he knows I'm an engineer making sure the wall is structurally sound. Please, this place is full of old people, old people who come here for eye treatments. Like that wall's never been driven into before!

I get into the building and as I'm setting up my equipment one of the techs touches me. Not in a way that warrants a slap or I'm pretty sure I'd be writing this from my holding cell, but touches me none the less. I barely like being touched by people I know, much less people I work with. After the touch I just look at him, and he notices something's up. Taking the reins and addressing the obviously developing situation(what a man!), he says "boundaries are overrated. You're here too much for boundaries" well ok....so I put on my bestest, most winningest smile and say "you're right, and I totally need to talk to someone. I have horrible cramps and I think I might be getting a yeast infection". Now, neither of these things are true, but I just wanted to have something to offer back, so he knows that I'm cool with no boundaries. I didn't want him to be out on that boundary-less limb all alone. I couldn't tell if he got or not, because he didn't say anything after. Anyway, I'm pretty sure boundaries are back on, which is fine with me; I really have no preference in the matter. As previously stated, there's nothing in the contract about hygiene and he really can't only tell half of that story, so I'm feeling pretty ok about the whole interaction. He seems to be avoiding me, but I just keep smiling at him. He'll be back, and I'll be ready. In the meantime, I've got a new plan. First, and in a somewhat related vein, check this out (also don't miss the recap of their Oscar party, good stuff). Between the Hoff and Sheise porn, the krauts are totally freaking me out these days. They do make some mean optics stuff though, so I guess you have to take the good with the bad. Anyhow, my new plan is going to involve singing this song to people without blinking. Maybe just the first 2 or 3 lines will be enough. Guess who gets the premier performance? Right-o, boundary man. I'm going to wait until I see him go into one of these rooms alone though. Maybe we'll go from no boundaries to the 50 meter ones I usually encounter.

All this and it's only 10am. This day is going places, I can feel it.