A purpose in life

Since the last project I finished up* (I don't remember what it was, because it was from way back before I moved) I've been looking for something else to start. I am currently in the middle of Girasole (and by in the middle, I mean I have so far knitted a 4 inch circle), but I'm struggling with motivation on that.

For 1, it's a lot of stuff I don't know how to do yet, which is something I always struggle with. I know once I dive in, it will work out (or it won't but I'll learn something either way) but I have a hard time really getting going. As my dad says, I have a hard time with the concept of practice. Rationally, I know it pays off but I have such a hard time spending hours on something knowing it's going to be sub par because I'm new at this.

Secondly, because it's stuff I don't know I get really frustrated, really easily. Frustrated like I swear alot. and if there happens to be a person in the room I swear at that person. HN gets scared when I knit, because his first time bearing witness to the process was the day I started Girasole, when I had FINALLY gotten it started right after like the 10th try, and then I just massively screwed up and right then he walked in and made the mistake of saying "Hello" I said "Don't talk to me right now" and he didn't understand what I meant and so he kept talking, perhaps inquiring to me what was wrong that I was being like that. I overreacted, taking out my frustration on him and foul language ensued. So now he has a mommy dearest like phobia of me when knitting, and I've relegated myself to only knitting Girasole when alone and calm.

So, anyreallylongramble, I've been on the hunt for a project I could work on in polite company, preferably something easy and involving knitting. Sewing is kind of out right now, my sewing room is not yet set up and I'm not a "work in the dining room and clean up every night" kind of girl, nor is HN a "go ahead and work and sprawl all over the dining room and don't worry about cleaning up every night" kind of guy. Howard Stern says if you live with someone you have to compromise, so for the sake of my relationship I will not even pretend to work in the dining room. So knitting it is. I looked through my stash at home (I'm back on my use everything up kick- food, yarn, fabric, nothing is safe!) , but most of it was bought when I was new to knitting, so I bought one and two balls of everything which you can only make scarves or hats with and I'm all set with scarves right now so I needed another idea.

Right now I'm up in beantown, spending some vague amount of time crashing at my original second home in Medfa and when I'm here I'm always inspired by Becky's patience and ability to conquer new painstaking things she's never done before. There was the xmas decoration, the cake, the quilts, the knitted cable bag, the taco rice incident, which was before the time of blogging so there's no picture but it was a marvel of patience and painstaking detail that is forever impressed in my mind- she totally made it look just like the one on the magazine! Dude!

So naturally I'm inspired right now because not only do I have someone who will agree with and encourage any odd idea I come up with, I'm sitting here surrounded by all of her cool stuff that she made, and I'm also sleeping in the craft room which means I can see all of her craft stuff, including her books. So this morning, while I was trying not to work I started poking through Mason Dixon knitting, and remembered that Becky was working on a log cabin blanket once. I googled around a bit, saw like a million different ways people have done it and so I think I've found my next calling. It's not stashbusting, but it's easy and I can keep it all over and just pick up and knit some rows whenever.

So basically all this blather boils down to: I'm going to knit a blanket. It is going to be awesome!

*Oh! I remember it was my hat. I love this hat, but it's too big, because I did creative math and did not swatch it when I made it. F! I just don't think I have it in me to frog it and do again. Maybe if I line it with fleece it will fit, because this yarn doesn't shrink. I want to love it because I love it, but honestly it's huge. I look like the dude from Fat Albert. Gah.