So far today...

I've decided I'm going to keep today's post dynamic, since I'll be on and off line, in and out of NSI and taking public transport. All of this always makes for good media and I've been depriving you all.

TGIF for sure.

10:00am Round 1: Universe 1, Kerry 1 (draw)

Admittedly, this one's my fault. I live in a house that is tight with the other houses around it and I'm usually pretty conscious of this. It's easy to see in other people's windows if that's your bag (I used to have my desk in front of the window and couldn't help it) so usually I'm careful when changing, etc. But during the workday, I'm expecting that noone is around and when I'm rushing I get a little lax. Like today. Rushing rushing rushing, will these pants do? No, try these pants. Ugh I'm bloaty, let me try these pants. etc etc etc, if you have a uterus, you know the drill. So I'm having a little fashion show when I notice the construction sounds across the street slowing down. and by across the street I mean directly across the street. Some background: New people bought the house and are moving in and are having some work done first so the house has been full of contractors pretty constantly as of late, a fact which I neglected to take into account when deciding to drop trou (trow?) in front of the window, which is also where my closet is. So anyhow, I notice that saws are slowing down, hammering is stopping etc and all I can think is "F. they see me" A quick glance across the street where I see a roomful of workers hanging back from the window looking in my general direction confirms this (hey guys? If you can see me even when I'm 5 feet back, I can also see you. fyi.) so I quickly decide that the pants I'm wearing will do and leave the room. I shake it off, I'm over it. Whatever. it happens right? Then I decide to take a quick jog up the road and hear from the house across the way "go to the window, she's across the street". I look around, yep, it's for me. There's a man working a table saw in the living room, wearing those big earmuffs so you don't go deaf and he was subtly alerting the boys to the fact that I'm showing myself again. Apparently they were wondering what I looked like from the front, and with pants on. Apparently also, they are not aware that they can be heard as I'm about 20 ft away, especially when screaming. Sigh. It's all good, it was very flattering once you translate from the gutterspeak, and I'm glad they're not feeling weird about observing me. I'd hate to make them uncomfortable about the fact that they're voyeurs and I'm apparently an exhibitionist. GGG right? So yeah, that's my morning thus far. I'm giving the Universe a point on this one for obvious reasons, but I'm taking one for me too. I like making people happy, and I have apparently done so. My work here is done.

Oh, and also I'm a hero. "Blatantly obvious", some might say, and they would be right. However, sometimes there is a reminder given like yesterday and I thought I would share. The people have a right to know. I'm sitting around, minding my business, working at my alter ego's job when I get a distress call. (are or are not the similarities to Superman *striking* at this point?) A friend's car has broken down, on the highway and help is needed. I hop in my trusty steed (Saturn, 4 cylinders, 92 horses bitches!) and head over. Once we determine that the broken down vehicle is not going anywhere on it's own we decide I'll tow it with my mean machine. See artist's rendering of the incident but in summary: it worked. Oh what an odd little chain gang we made, my tiny coupe towing an SUV around Baltimore. I did everything I could to draw attentio to us- well everything I could do while steering with one hand and maintaining radio communication with the towee. This mostly including screaming at passerby "'that's right bitches, I'm towing HIM". We made it safely to the garage, through hills, speedbumps and a short stint on the hightway. Overall it was great, and I was reminded why I became a superhero in the first place. Oh, the humanity... sigh...

not drawn to scale. SUV = markedly bigger than my truck, but you get the gist

11:30 am Round 2: Universe 2, Kerry 1 (point Universe)

So I head into the hallowed halls of NSI, feeling pretty good about myself. I have fans, loud burly appreciative fans and it went to my head, I admit this. But how can you not feel good about yourself after being so well received when you weren't even meaning to pose flatteringly? Sigh...so anyhow. I get to NSI a bit early for my meeting and decide to head to a nearby coffeehouse to get jazzed up for my meeting. Upon entering, I bob n weave through some scaffolding, pop in and get me an iced coffee (delicious btw, they sure do know how to make iced coffee around these parts haaaaa) sit down and take a breather. On exit I notice strikingly handsome construction worker man loitering on the steps eating lunch. Hello there. I smile, because yay! handsome alert! and he smiles, and then I'm thinking back to my fans and I decide I must just have appeal to the manual labor crowd. It's probably some weird dominate the corporate bitch fantasy, but ick so I discard that thought and just go back to enjoying the pretty face in front of me. And you know I can't do two things at once, so of course while I'm thinking all of this I'm inwardly projecting like a Snoopy cartoon when he has all those pictures above his head and he's just looking up smiling. Looking up, not looking forward, and so naturally I walk FACE FIRST INTO THE FUCKING SCAFFOLDING. sigh. I suppose that's what I get, but still and all. I go from admiring pretty man to almost knocking his coworker down on his head and killing them both. gross, how embarrassing. I take the cosmic hint and try to step back and shake off a little bit of the self love, just enough so I can concentrate on where I'm going. point to you universe, point to you. fucker.