Friday, October 30, 2009
Progress
Note the placement of her ear. This means Kitty was there first, she lied down next to him!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
One fish, two fish....
Brick apt, standalone house. No, it doesn't rhyme but I am so fresh I don't need metrics.
The apt hunt goes on, and it's a much more interesting this time around. I have an excellent attitude if I do say so myself.
Found a couple of nice places, one in a house near here that was cozy and had a wood stove and was overall very tempting, despite not being "it" in a variety of little ways that I would have tried to see past. In the end, the decision was made for us when the owner's brother had "drama" of some undisclosed nature and the owner told me he had to let his brother live there. At firt it felt like a bummer, but I was actually thankful because I didn't have to really agonize over it, and also I know that this shit only happens when something more ideal is around the corner, so I'm over it.
So the hunt now concentrates in the city, specifically back in Hampden where we used to live. I really enjoyed living there and although I wouldn't totally poo poo living in another part of the city, I seem to keep coming back to Hampden. I like the stores, the bars, the centrality, the farmer's market and the night walking choices. HN is a little sad, he feels like if we go back where we moved from it's a step backwards but I'm not even allowing that sentiment to crowd my wave so the hunt goes on. I know once we get in somewhere and are happy and *I* am happy, HN will come around and get over it. I have enough postivity for the both of us. Plus his sister lives nearby and that's a selling point.
Today we're going to look at a few places, including one owned by a friend of ours who has been trying to sell it. Said friend is not 100% sure he's ready to give up the dream of selling, but it's been on the market for 4 months, empty for 3, and there are 8 houses on that block for sale. He will crumble soon if he knows what's good for him! Plus, it's a cute place and I could rock the shit out of the craft alcove (and look good doing it- pics later which will explain what I mean) Were I not so averse to the idea, it's a place we might even consider buying ourselves.
Aside(to be folded into ongoing conversation shortly): I am a *horrible* bargain-er. I just don't have it in me. When I went to Mexico, I was so bad at it that even though everyone said "take 25% off the price anyone quotes you" I never would. I spent some time one day talking with one merchant, who wanted to haggle and finally got so annoyed that I wouldn't/didn't haggle that he did it for me and ended up selling me things for less than I had been willing to pay for them. When we went to Guatemala, HN would allow me to walk by tables then go report to him on what I liked. I was in no way to indicate my interest because I blew some pretty good deals by squealing "I LOVE IT!!!"
Haggling is a thing HN excels at. He got this from both of his parents, but his mother is like the ultimo pro of it. She once tried to bargain with the cashier at JoAnn's and was unsuccessful by only the narrowest of margins. It was awesome to watch. So I've been discussing bargaining with various people lately (I don't know why, it just keeps coming up. Apparently the universe is trying to tell me it's time to get my skillset expanding) and I confessed I always feel bad when bargaining. I just think you either accept someone's conditions or you don't right? Shopping, personal relationships, whatever; my philosophy is the same. Everyone puts out there where they're at and what they're capable of and everyone else either oks or passes has always been my take. So I confessed the feeling bad part to a friend and he gave me a rather stellar, succinct bargaining tip that I think I can totally live with. He told me, "push until the person you are dealing with has to fake being ok with what you're getting" His reasoning was that if they are too happy and all fat cat, you're getting less (or paying more) than you should. If they're genuinely unhappy, you've gone too far and are disrespecting. But if they are still willing and able to fake a smile, but you can tell it's work for them you are about at a decent balance of what they think something is worth and what you're about to pay for it.
I can totally live with that.
So, fast forward to me yesterday looking at an apt that I didn't really like, with an annoying woman who I also didn't like who asked me point blank how I felt about the money she was asking for the place. My immediate reaction is almost always "oh, it's fine" (and internally I think "but I wouldn't pay it") but I decided to get with the prophet's program and thought for a minute. I didn't want the place anyway, I totally had the power to say goodbye, and I thought I should listen to the universe and get myself together so I told her I thought for the condition of the place it was a little steep. This is not shocking, most adults do this shit all day long but it's not my bag so it felt like a big deal to me. Anyhow, what ensued was a silly empowering bargaining talk where I could have gotten the rent to a pretty sweet price point just by virtue of being clean, respectable looking me who was pretty much out the door from the minute I got in.
The point to this whole ramble: Bargaining has now been added to the Misc Skills section of my resume. I have 4 houses to see today and I plan to hone my new skills, quick while the iron is hot.
Hopefully I will report on a place to live later, as it's tick tick ticking until the 30 days notice we need to give FFFO and I'd really like to be locked into something before then.
The apt hunt goes on, and it's a much more interesting this time around. I have an excellent attitude if I do say so myself.
Found a couple of nice places, one in a house near here that was cozy and had a wood stove and was overall very tempting, despite not being "it" in a variety of little ways that I would have tried to see past. In the end, the decision was made for us when the owner's brother had "drama" of some undisclosed nature and the owner told me he had to let his brother live there. At firt it felt like a bummer, but I was actually thankful because I didn't have to really agonize over it, and also I know that this shit only happens when something more ideal is around the corner, so I'm over it.
So the hunt now concentrates in the city, specifically back in Hampden where we used to live. I really enjoyed living there and although I wouldn't totally poo poo living in another part of the city, I seem to keep coming back to Hampden. I like the stores, the bars, the centrality, the farmer's market and the night walking choices. HN is a little sad, he feels like if we go back where we moved from it's a step backwards but I'm not even allowing that sentiment to crowd my wave so the hunt goes on. I know once we get in somewhere and are happy and *I* am happy, HN will come around and get over it. I have enough postivity for the both of us. Plus his sister lives nearby and that's a selling point.
Today we're going to look at a few places, including one owned by a friend of ours who has been trying to sell it. Said friend is not 100% sure he's ready to give up the dream of selling, but it's been on the market for 4 months, empty for 3, and there are 8 houses on that block for sale. He will crumble soon if he knows what's good for him! Plus, it's a cute place and I could rock the shit out of the craft alcove (and look good doing it- pics later which will explain what I mean) Were I not so averse to the idea, it's a place we might even consider buying ourselves.
Aside(to be folded into ongoing conversation shortly): I am a *horrible* bargain-er. I just don't have it in me. When I went to Mexico, I was so bad at it that even though everyone said "take 25% off the price anyone quotes you" I never would. I spent some time one day talking with one merchant, who wanted to haggle and finally got so annoyed that I wouldn't/didn't haggle that he did it for me and ended up selling me things for less than I had been willing to pay for them. When we went to Guatemala, HN would allow me to walk by tables then go report to him on what I liked. I was in no way to indicate my interest because I blew some pretty good deals by squealing "I LOVE IT!!!"
Haggling is a thing HN excels at. He got this from both of his parents, but his mother is like the ultimo pro of it. She once tried to bargain with the cashier at JoAnn's and was unsuccessful by only the narrowest of margins. It was awesome to watch. So I've been discussing bargaining with various people lately (I don't know why, it just keeps coming up. Apparently the universe is trying to tell me it's time to get my skillset expanding) and I confessed I always feel bad when bargaining. I just think you either accept someone's conditions or you don't right? Shopping, personal relationships, whatever; my philosophy is the same. Everyone puts out there where they're at and what they're capable of and everyone else either oks or passes has always been my take. So I confessed the feeling bad part to a friend and he gave me a rather stellar, succinct bargaining tip that I think I can totally live with. He told me, "push until the person you are dealing with has to fake being ok with what you're getting" His reasoning was that if they are too happy and all fat cat, you're getting less (or paying more) than you should. If they're genuinely unhappy, you've gone too far and are disrespecting. But if they are still willing and able to fake a smile, but you can tell it's work for them you are about at a decent balance of what they think something is worth and what you're about to pay for it.
I can totally live with that.
So, fast forward to me yesterday looking at an apt that I didn't really like, with an annoying woman who I also didn't like who asked me point blank how I felt about the money she was asking for the place. My immediate reaction is almost always "oh, it's fine" (and internally I think "but I wouldn't pay it") but I decided to get with the prophet's program and thought for a minute. I didn't want the place anyway, I totally had the power to say goodbye, and I thought I should listen to the universe and get myself together so I told her I thought for the condition of the place it was a little steep. This is not shocking, most adults do this shit all day long but it's not my bag so it felt like a big deal to me. Anyhow, what ensued was a silly empowering bargaining talk where I could have gotten the rent to a pretty sweet price point just by virtue of being clean, respectable looking me who was pretty much out the door from the minute I got in.
The point to this whole ramble: Bargaining has now been added to the Misc Skills section of my resume. I have 4 houses to see today and I plan to hone my new skills, quick while the iron is hot.
Hopefully I will report on a place to live later, as it's tick tick ticking until the 30 days notice we need to give FFFO and I'd really like to be locked into something before then.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
(mostly) not grocery shopping
So, we all know I exaggerate. Like when I say "I'm never grocery shopping again!" I mean "I'm shopping less for a while"
Well, the while goes on! And I'm making some decent progress round here! Because I know you've all been up nights wondering about the state of my freezer, let's dish.
First let me say I amended policy of "no shopping" to "Can buy things like cheese and milk that can't be made from other things around the house, and also can buy 1 magical ingredient for any dish for which I have everything else here" and also "can always buy onions and garlic"
So...as I began to make my way through the contents of the freezer (umm, "a friend" told me that you can unfreeze previously frozen wine given to you by your angry landlord and frozen because what else would you do with 2 giant bottles when you're home alone for the summer and drink it and it still tastes ok. Turns out to be true, and freezer cleaning ramped up because of it. Although I was a little embarrassed and glad to be home alone the first time I did it, by the second glass of heated wine with mulling spices, I was over it. I am from the gettaw!)
Anyway, as I was saying before I got wine-sicled off point, I found a hunk of short ribs kicking back in the freezer. Short ribs = expensive shitty meat to me. HN orders them at restaurants and my dad gave me this sweet book and put an asterisk next to the short ribs recipes so I thought one time way back I would make it for HN and company. Company canceled so I was left with the extra pack. The dish came out gross, because short ribs are pretty gross, so I just never made it again and blocked out the fact that I had bought a second package.
Cut to me watching Top Chef the other night and they were talking about umami taste and I was all "Must learn umami. Now" and here don't I grub around the freezer to see if I have anything in there that tastes like earth. No can do, but I did come up with the bag of short ribs and visions of pho start dancing in my head. So I take said nasty short ribs, throw them in a big pot with herbs and spices and plan tomorrow to go to the supermarket for secret ingredient MUSHROOMS! The soup was ridiculously delicious, and umami is now my bitch. Thank you google!! However, I didn't end up using the short rib meat in the soup, because even after 3 hours of boiling that shit was still nasty.
So I get all "FUCK THIS, now it's personal" on the short ribs and decide that hell to the no do they get tossed because now it's just the principle of the thing. Tough meat, I think on it and I decide acid is the answer, so going back to the freezer, I grab a quart sized bag of "blended spicy garden tomatoes" and throw them in my 3Qt dutch oven, with a jar of my prized new mexico green chiles (down to 14 jars left and getting nervous), some black beans, a pepper, some onion and a whole lotta garlic. And some cumin. For whatever reason, when HN and I moved in together we both brought oregano and cumin stashes to get us through the Apocalypse. Therefore, cumin and oregano now go with lots of what I make, by hook or by crook. I do some braising/meat calculations and decide that 300 degrees for 4 hours would tenderize even the dog so I let that all happen. Result? RESULT! Tasty shizz, kind of like a ghetto beef chili Verde only not quite, but the stewiness and texture were on point and taste was not so bad either. I toss some in a bowl, cover with cheese and broil. IT IS GOOD, but it could be better and there's still a bunch of crap in my fridge that I don't need so I allow for one more ingredient (it's a different day, it doesn't count!) and go get some tortillas. I fry those up lightly, pack em full of meat mix, cover with sauce made from things in the fridge I wish HN would stop bringing home (tostitos salsa? umm, perhaps you forget we have roughly 1000 jars of homemade and AWESOME salsa around here!) and some cheese, et voila! Were I so inclined to spend 3 fucking days preparing wretched cuts of meat, I would make short rib enchiladas or burritos any day. As it is, I'll just bask in the fact that I won over the meat and never buy that shit again.
So that's the battle of the short ribs, and though like I said I wouldn't use the cut of meat again, they did make a damn tasty soup base. i believe this is more a bone in thing than a good meat thing though, so next time I have a day to kill and a self granted freedom to buy more than one ingredient, I might do a full on pho day. Seems like it ought to be a "for company" thing too, but it doesn't need to be decided now.
The rest of the project goes well too. Not so much variety in recipes this week, because I'm eating leftovers blah blah blah, but I do at least look at the cabinets and freezer and know I am making progress.
Barley stocks are down to "around normal" as opposed to "are we having the whole city over for some barley?" level. Frozen wine has been "handled", frozen tomatoes USED UP, ONE JAR OF CUMIN EXHAUSTED! (2 jars of oregano from HN that expired in 2005 thrown out while he wasn't looking) and stores continue to fall.
I did have to break my grocery shopping rule yesterday, because HN has the swine flu so I was able to justify buying chicken to make some matzo ball soup. (and it was SO GOOD! I reduced the stock by like 1/3 because I was locked out of the kitchen because the floor was wet and so the stock boiled away more than I meant it to, but it was just this lovely, thick COMFORT soup) I also bought egg noodles, thinking if the matzo was too heavy he might like those better, and also because I bought extra chicken pieces I have options left. And I bought a pound of ground beef, as a single ingredient for the future.
So, having bought
Overall, I'm pretty pleased with my progress. Aside from getting around to using what I bought and paid for ages ago, and no longer being taunted by seeing it there when I open the fridge, I'm "getting outside my box" (hey now!) and adding some interesting things to the list of things I make. Things like pho which I've wondered about forever now are less mysterious having made at least a start on the broth, the toasted barley discovery which is sure to prove to be lifechanging, and the knowledge that I can probably get through that whole jar of couscous if I make it 3 more times to go with something all contribute to me just feeling this cooking challenge. It's also interesting to actually plan a menu which is something I'd heard of people doing but had never done. It's a good exercise in how to make things - as in what's the best order in which to cook things to maximize the leftovers possibilities to be something else. After eating something 3 times I really have a hard time keeping on, so planning on how to morph stuff is very exciting.
Off to hit the showers now. Today we look at one place down in the city (fingers crossed!) and then the house near here with the woodstove. I am truly torn, because the house with the woodstove is just cool, and I know we would love it but I am thinking I want to go back to the city to live. There's just a ton of things I miss, like being able to walk to any store, walk to the farmers market, walk to the book thing, etc etc etc. I also really miss my pre-bedtime walks with Star. There's no sidewalks here and no roads it's safe to walk on at night so that has all but stopped and I think my sleeping has suffered as a result.
We will have to trade in on the peace, quiet and darkness of country life, and for sure we're going to lose the element of fire which I've quite enjoyed but I think in the end the city is the answer. And now that it's been decided that we're moving, I'm excited about it. I spent gross, cold, rainy yesterday inside making soup and DOUCHING the douche of all douches the kitchen, back bathroom and the back 2 carpeted rooms. The corners and crevices have been cleared of ALL dust bunnies and resident spiders, carpet has been spot cleaned with my new toy, and the pile of things for goodwill grows. Today, we look at apts then I come home and tackle cabinets, fridge, and the sunroom, where all manner of bad things have been building up since we stopped using it due to the cold. I love collapsing exhausted at the end of the day and seeing that I have made progress.
Onward and upward....
Well, the while goes on! And I'm making some decent progress round here! Because I know you've all been up nights wondering about the state of my freezer, let's dish.
First let me say I amended policy of "no shopping" to "Can buy things like cheese and milk that can't be made from other things around the house, and also can buy 1 magical ingredient for any dish for which I have everything else here" and also "can always buy onions and garlic"
So...as I began to make my way through the contents of the freezer (umm, "a friend" told me that you can unfreeze previously frozen wine given to you by your angry landlord and frozen because what else would you do with 2 giant bottles when you're home alone for the summer and drink it and it still tastes ok. Turns out to be true, and freezer cleaning ramped up because of it. Although I was a little embarrassed and glad to be home alone the first time I did it, by the second glass of heated wine with mulling spices, I was over it. I am from the gettaw!)
Anyway, as I was saying before I got wine-sicled off point, I found a hunk of short ribs kicking back in the freezer. Short ribs = expensive shitty meat to me. HN orders them at restaurants and my dad gave me this sweet book and put an asterisk next to the short ribs recipes so I thought one time way back I would make it for HN and company. Company canceled so I was left with the extra pack. The dish came out gross, because short ribs are pretty gross, so I just never made it again and blocked out the fact that I had bought a second package.
Cut to me watching Top Chef the other night and they were talking about umami taste and I was all "Must learn umami. Now" and here don't I grub around the freezer to see if I have anything in there that tastes like earth. No can do, but I did come up with the bag of short ribs and visions of pho start dancing in my head. So I take said nasty short ribs, throw them in a big pot with herbs and spices and plan tomorrow to go to the supermarket for secret ingredient MUSHROOMS! The soup was ridiculously delicious, and umami is now my bitch. Thank you google!! However, I didn't end up using the short rib meat in the soup, because even after 3 hours of boiling that shit was still nasty.
So I get all "FUCK THIS, now it's personal" on the short ribs and decide that hell to the no do they get tossed because now it's just the principle of the thing. Tough meat, I think on it and I decide acid is the answer, so going back to the freezer, I grab a quart sized bag of "blended spicy garden tomatoes" and throw them in my 3Qt dutch oven, with a jar of my prized new mexico green chiles (down to 14 jars left and getting nervous), some black beans, a pepper, some onion and a whole lotta garlic. And some cumin. For whatever reason, when HN and I moved in together we both brought oregano and cumin stashes to get us through the Apocalypse. Therefore, cumin and oregano now go with lots of what I make, by hook or by crook. I do some braising/meat calculations and decide that 300 degrees for 4 hours would tenderize even the dog so I let that all happen. Result? RESULT! Tasty shizz, kind of like a ghetto beef chili Verde only not quite, but the stewiness and texture were on point and taste was not so bad either. I toss some in a bowl, cover with cheese and broil. IT IS GOOD, but it could be better and there's still a bunch of crap in my fridge that I don't need so I allow for one more ingredient (it's a different day, it doesn't count!) and go get some tortillas. I fry those up lightly, pack em full of meat mix, cover with sauce made from things in the fridge I wish HN would stop bringing home (tostitos salsa? umm, perhaps you forget we have roughly 1000 jars of homemade and AWESOME salsa around here!) and some cheese, et voila! Were I so inclined to spend 3 fucking days preparing wretched cuts of meat, I would make short rib enchiladas or burritos any day. As it is, I'll just bask in the fact that I won over the meat and never buy that shit again.
So that's the battle of the short ribs, and though like I said I wouldn't use the cut of meat again, they did make a damn tasty soup base. i believe this is more a bone in thing than a good meat thing though, so next time I have a day to kill and a self granted freedom to buy more than one ingredient, I might do a full on pho day. Seems like it ought to be a "for company" thing too, but it doesn't need to be decided now.
The rest of the project goes well too. Not so much variety in recipes this week, because I'm eating leftovers blah blah blah, but I do at least look at the cabinets and freezer and know I am making progress.
Barley stocks are down to "around normal" as opposed to "are we having the whole city over for some barley?" level. Frozen wine has been "handled", frozen tomatoes USED UP, ONE JAR OF CUMIN EXHAUSTED! (2 jars of oregano from HN that expired in 2005 thrown out while he wasn't looking) and stores continue to fall.
I did have to break my grocery shopping rule yesterday, because HN has the swine flu so I was able to justify buying chicken to make some matzo ball soup. (and it was SO GOOD! I reduced the stock by like 1/3 because I was locked out of the kitchen because the floor was wet and so the stock boiled away more than I meant it to, but it was just this lovely, thick COMFORT soup) I also bought egg noodles, thinking if the matzo was too heavy he might like those better, and also because I bought extra chicken pieces I have options left. And I bought a pound of ground beef, as a single ingredient for the future.
So, having bought
- 1 pack chicken breasts, bone in
- 1 pack chicken thighs (you need dark meat for soup)
- 1 package egg noodles
- 1 pound ground beef
- some mushrooms
- a half jar of tomato sauce we made over the summer (but only opened last week when I made pizza)
- some Parmesan cheese
- arborio rice
- some half and half
- squash (frozen)
- Matzo ball soup
- single serving of beef stroganoff (HN dislikes mushrooms, good riddance)
- meat sauce from the rest of the beef, served over egg noodles
- squash risotto with sage from the yard before it all dies
- egg noodles with chicken and garlic butter/wine sauce (there is always chicken meat leftover when I make soup)
- mexican chicken soup (which is just plain chicken soup with black beans and a jar of our way over vinegar salsa from the summer dumped in, and is also AWESOME)
Overall, I'm pretty pleased with my progress. Aside from getting around to using what I bought and paid for ages ago, and no longer being taunted by seeing it there when I open the fridge, I'm "getting outside my box" (hey now!) and adding some interesting things to the list of things I make. Things like pho which I've wondered about forever now are less mysterious having made at least a start on the broth, the toasted barley discovery which is sure to prove to be lifechanging, and the knowledge that I can probably get through that whole jar of couscous if I make it 3 more times to go with something all contribute to me just feeling this cooking challenge. It's also interesting to actually plan a menu which is something I'd heard of people doing but had never done. It's a good exercise in how to make things - as in what's the best order in which to cook things to maximize the leftovers possibilities to be something else. After eating something 3 times I really have a hard time keeping on, so planning on how to morph stuff is very exciting.
Off to hit the showers now. Today we look at one place down in the city (fingers crossed!) and then the house near here with the woodstove. I am truly torn, because the house with the woodstove is just cool, and I know we would love it but I am thinking I want to go back to the city to live. There's just a ton of things I miss, like being able to walk to any store, walk to the farmers market, walk to the book thing, etc etc etc. I also really miss my pre-bedtime walks with Star. There's no sidewalks here and no roads it's safe to walk on at night so that has all but stopped and I think my sleeping has suffered as a result.
We will have to trade in on the peace, quiet and darkness of country life, and for sure we're going to lose the element of fire which I've quite enjoyed but I think in the end the city is the answer. And now that it's been decided that we're moving, I'm excited about it. I spent gross, cold, rainy yesterday inside making soup and DOUCHING the douche of all douches the kitchen, back bathroom and the back 2 carpeted rooms. The corners and crevices have been cleared of ALL dust bunnies and resident spiders, carpet has been spot cleaned with my new toy, and the pile of things for goodwill grows. Today, we look at apts then I come home and tackle cabinets, fridge, and the sunroom, where all manner of bad things have been building up since we stopped using it due to the cold. I love collapsing exhausted at the end of the day and seeing that I have made progress.
Onward and upward....
Friday, October 23, 2009
Listen here, little man
Warning: Today the part of kerry will be played by her angry inner child. I tried to get to the source of the child's anger but she kicked me in the shin and ran away crying with a chocolate bar, some cheese and a chick flick. I think we all know what's going on here...
It's one of those days/weeks. My mouth is connected directly to my attitude, and the brain has left the building. And I have 0 patience units left, and people are legitimately being DOUCHE.
Example 1: FFFO. I erroneously reported on things on the farm evening out some and not being so bad. I may even have mentioned that we were planning on staying for another year. New plan: fuck her, we move. There's several factors in this, the main one being that HN can't get comfy. He still has hurt feelings over the fact that he thought they were friends but she turned out to be a fucking lunatic. It's easier for me to get over, because I spend the majority of my days here alone enjoying the rambling bucolic-icity of the joint, sunning myself on the asphalt driveway with dog and wandering the woods, also with dog. It is not a bad life from 9-5.
Anyhoooo, about a month ago I talked to FFFO about us not actually moving out. I told her I thought we'd like to stay, asked what her plans were for the place as far as finishing any of the work promised to go on when we first moved in, and asked her about rent. I got NO CAN DO on anymore work, MIGHT CAN DO on the issue of the broken thermostat and ANSWER UNCLEAR about whether they were changing rent (vague threat from way back) Conversation ended with "I'll let you know about rent" Fast forward one month. Not having heard back from her (and following her strict example of if YOU say YOU'LL get back to ME, I am absolved of ALL reponsibility for talking to YOU first) , I begin perusing housing listings on Craigslist. Once around the block with this ho was enough and I won't be caught out again by presuming she is a good person. Pickings are looking preeeety OK, so HN and I begin in earnest to discuss what to do. He basically takes a big deep breath and unloads about how much he hates it here, never comfortable, etc etc etc but hasn't been saying anything because I work from home and he knows how much I enjoy the aforementioned activities and he will stay and deal with it if I want to. Nice offer bitterbutt, but I think I'll take the trade of moving somewhere else with having my normal sane boyfriend back. I'm also not that fond of FFFO, but like I said, she's around like 20% of my life and I'm good at out of sight out of mind. So, for kicks the other night (and in order to have all pertinent info before pulling the trigger on a move) I decide to break down and ask her about rent and she announces they're raising it $100 and starts to list all the things they're going to do with the extra money. Bitch, please. Firstly, 100 bucks in the scope of what you pay for this place will make NO difference. Secondly, I believe NOT FOR ONE RED SECOND that you will do shit to this place. After all, they collected insurance money to do work on one part of the house last year and it NEVER HAPPENED. You have gotten complacent, because we're in and are reasonably tolerant and you are one of those "take what you can get from anyone/everyone types of people" Third, unbeknownst to you, I have looked around and one can get an INSULATED house for less than what we pay now. That's savings on rent, and the ability to heat the place for under 500 bucks a month (we are expected here to leave doors from the heated half of the house open to the non heated half so pipes don't freeze. Probably NOT this year). No, there are not 35 acres immediate connecting to 1000 more in the yard, but those 1000 acres are still within a bike ride of some new places.
After the rent discussion, she also says she wants to "sit me down and talk to me about the lawn" situation. More than done with the conversation after the last bullshit point,
I say "oh, (snickering laugh and pointing at you because you are a cunt) I don't get sat down and talked to. What did you want to say?"
Her:"Well, we'd like you guys to be better about the lawn next year. You were sporadic with mowing this year"
Me:"well is that all you wanted to say?"
Her:"well yes. "
Me: "well wasn't that easy. No need to "sit me down" now, right?"
Her:"umm ok. (seeing her dreams of calling me into the principal's office crumbling, perhaps beginning to noticeI don't care ?) Well, also (NOTE: shifty eyes and licking lips indicate BIG FAT LIE coming my way), uhh, I had to mow your lawn a few times over the summer. It was getting bad and there was poison ivy ALL OVER THE PLACE"
Me: (internally LYING CUNT DIE DIE DIE) "Weird. I hardly noticed, and it's so weird, because Star and I lie around the lawn ALL THE TIME. I know the lawn got long between mows, but you know we had problems with the mower we bought and we were pretty much at the mercy of the dude who was coming to mow for us. In the end yes, we could have been better" Bitchy smile, end conversation retreat to house. Announce to HN "Get the boxes, we move TONIGHT!" (we did not move tonight,but my point was clear)
ANGERING FACTS about the lawn issue:
1) she just bought a cadillac of fucking lawn mowers, which brings her stable of riding mowers to 3. She mows roughly an acre or 2 an hour on this thing, and for her to spin over our lawn would have taken her no more than 10 minutes. It is my opinion this should just be one of the things she does, or she should have let us use a mower. Instead, she insisted we should hire her kid to mow it, because the kid needs money. We opted to buy a mower instead, as I found it more palatable than being shaken down for more money by a greedy cunt who just dropped 900large on a farm she didn't need.
2)There is nothing in the lease about us mowing the lawn. In fact, we weren't even sure we were really on the hook for it until the day she stapled a nasty typewritten note to the door stating that the lawn had gotten too long. (she could not be bothered to mention it casually in any of the conversations we were having DAILY) It is my point of view that if you are going to have someone sign an 18 page lease contract which spells out things like having to close windows when it rains, etc then what you DON'T put in there becomes everything. There is nothing mentioned about the lawn.
3) SHE FUCKING LIED. Big stupid, coward, fake "all up in your face girl power" chickenshit bully. LIAR!! I HATE LIARS! HATE. Will not tolerate, do not respect. SUCK IT. She's a shitty, LOUD, righteous person who is always walking around proclaiming how she is the only one who can do anything right, but I believe a large portion of this issue comes from the fact that she thinks her ideas of what is right is so obvious people should always know what she wants, because she is too fucking cool to bother discussing. Peace bitch! You, I do not need. And I know she lied, because it's my lawn and I know how long it got, and I also was here everytime the dude came and mowed my silly long lawn. There is not one mowing unaccounted for. I WORK FROM HOME LIAR!
So this weekend, HN and I have plans to douche the house Saturday and break the news to her Sunday. I am most assured that once we tell her we are moving out, she will exercise her lease given right to enter the premises to inspect at anytime. (I personally believe she has already exercised this right, because while we were talking about the lawn, she started to say something else and stopped and looked away again and for whatever reason "she's been in the house" flashed in my head. I trust my gut more than I trust her and I fully believe) So, that's the FFFO portion of the giant asshole story.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE:
Example 2: Big boy, the snivelling CFO. The CFO of my company is this fat, balding, limp ass handshake having dude who always has a look on his face like he smells crap and it's coming from you. He also waddles when he walks, has man boobs and wears sandals in the summer that make him look like an overgrown 4 yr old when walking away. Think Baby Huey. It doesn't particularly bother me, because I work 350 miles away from him, and when I am in the office I work on the other side and never see him unless he's coming over for a soda or something. However, one thing that DOES get to me is that he is a perv and a bully. I caught him ONCE looking over my chesticles and waved my hand in front of the area while giving him a "I will eat your liver" smile and haven't had a problem since. It's disturbing to watch him with our comptroller however. She's a hottie southern girl, not modest, and not unaware that her boss harbors a sexual interest. He loves her feet (it's embarrassing to be in the same room and watch him watch her toes, watch her watch him watching her toes, and wiggle them now and then to keep him captivated. He loses track of what he was saying. Oh, have I mentioned he's married?)
Her tits, her toes, her problem I just try to avoid having to watch it. The worse part about him is that he is a fucking BULLY. He has made it his life's work to make the life of our office manager HELL, because she has self esteem issues and he smells weakness. She made a decision at some point to work 3 days for us and 2 for another job that she LOVES but can't afford to do only and full time, and this deal was approved by the president. (Her offer included volunteering to take calls from our company while she is at her other job, and this happens daily because she RUNS our company office). She also made a deal with her other job that they could call her on her days with us. Seems fair to me right? Roughly one month after we got a new part time admin to fill in the other 2 days a week she isn't here, DCFO (Douchebag CFO) sends an edict from on high that Innocent Office Manager (IOM) is no longer allowed to sit at the big desk in reception. He doesn't want her sharing a desk with the other girl (who mainly answers phones and stuff envelopes) Somehow, IOM comes out on the losing end of this deal, even though she ought to be out front because she handles everything, and really how big a desk does one need to stuff envelopes? Anyhow, IOM sucked it up because that's what she does, and took to a shared office with the comptroller. Within days, the points of the exercise became clear to anyone who is fucking AWAKE. 1)DCFO has started rolling MAJOR PERCENTAGES of his work downhill to comptroller, who in turn has to roll major percentages of her work to IOM. He rolls enough down that it is now a company joke to figure out what he DOES do. As in, even the president can't answer the question of what exactly DCFO is doing all day. So we now have IOM doing billing, taking checks, handling money- you know, comptroller stuff but not for comptroller pay. We also have DCFO strolling in all day to look at comptrollers boobs and feet, and hiding in the hallway looking in over IOM's shoulder so he can gaage what he thinks she's doing by what apps she is having open at the time, which was the second point of his relocating her. He couldn't previously see over her shoulder because of the way the big desk out front sits, and she types really fast which makes him suspicious and afraid that she is planning his death or something I guess.
From time to time we get edicts from on high penned by DCFO which I guess answers some of what he's doing with his time (though not enough to explain why it took 4 months for my stock option grant paperwork to come through). Everytime one of these edicts roll down, I know it is a stab at IOM and I always call her to ask what she did. She always has an answer So about 2 weeks after giving up the big desk to do more of comptrollers work, there is a edict issued about IM at work (laughed over when I called my boss to ask if we weren't supposed to use IM at work, would it be better if I called the UK office from my cell for $1/minute.) I call IOM to get the dirt, she replies "I was on IM with other job when he was watching" IOM did finally work up to say to him that if he doesn't want her answering queries from her other job while here WHICH WAS AGREED TO BE OK BY YOUR BOSS, then would he circulate something about how noone was to contact her on her days away from our company? Nothing came out, so the current system stays in place.
This goes on and on. Little person, snide emails from DCFO, always prompted by some way he is trying to make life harder on IOM. I have even brought this to the attention of the president, who in SHOCK OF SHOCKS (and I mean that, I was shocked) is a super conflict avoider! I've made the point and the case that DCFO is a bully terrorist and asked Pres to go across the hall and tell him to quit it with the mails, and maybe even pay attention to what DCFO is doing and to stop the insanity. No luck so far. I will not give up.
The lasted edict came out last friday. It reads:
To all MY COMPANY staff,
Just a reminder that the office hours are 8.30 am to 5pm EST Monday to Friday. Our customers and prospects are familiar with these hours making them the most likely times that they will call and it is important that we be available in the office when they do.
I appreciate that with such a small team there is a need for flexibility and thank you for being flexible. It is common for each of us to take calls outside of those times as well as being available for travel sometimes well into the early hours or over weekends. However, I ask that you also respect the office hours and be available at your desk for when the phone rings.
To make sure that we are all aware of who is in and when they are in, I will ask IOM to post a shared file that we can update for ourselves so that the rest of us know when we are on vacation, travelling etc.
Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.
DCFO
Just to review:
1) office hours are 8:30-5, but you are also expected to suck up answering calls before and after that time, and also to suck up travel time without being comped for it (oh right, he never travels so it's not a big deal) btw, the only one who ever leaves the office at 5 is him. And also, noone ever calls him so he doesn't do shit before of after business hours except for the rare early UK management calls.
2) IOM gets to manage us like a daycare in addition to all she does otherwise.
I read this, utter SEVERAL curse words LOUDLY and call IOM to ask how late she was this morning. She got in a 8:41 and by that time the president already had mail from DCFO about how he was ON A CALL and the phone rang TWICE and NOONE ANSWERED and he was VERY DISTRACTED while he was on his IMPORTANT CALL and would the president PLEASE ask IMO to be in the office ON TIME. UGH.
I call my boss to rant about this BECAUSE IT'S BULLSHIT, she agrees. I call the president, he laughs about how DCFO is walking funny and it might be because he tore a hamstring answering the phone or worrying about answering the phone etc etc. I ask him if he is aware that this is another one of DCFOs plots to terrorize IOM and he laughs more. I get fucking irritated and swear at him. He laughs more (NOT THE INTENDED EFFECT). This goes on, I get worked up more than I know is good for me and hang up before I say something stupid. (this topic will be revisited in person the next time I am in WF. Fuck this shit, we're not a big company and I won't be cunted around by policies based on the smallness of someone with a title)
Cut to Monday and Tuesday. IOM and everyone else show up at 8:30, in keeping with NEW IMPORTANT POLICY and....DCFO rolls in around 9. Both days. Without explanation.
I stew on that (now taking this way too personally but I hate me some bully and I need a cause and I also have my period and you know how that goes...)
So yesterday goes like this:
DCFO late again.
I fire off mail to my boss, Pres, Vice Pres, and IOM. Contents below (let this be a lesson about the perks of working in a small company. I know this could not happen in the real world):
It's one of those days/weeks. My mouth is connected directly to my attitude, and the brain has left the building. And I have 0 patience units left, and people are legitimately being DOUCHE.
Example 1: FFFO. I erroneously reported on things on the farm evening out some and not being so bad. I may even have mentioned that we were planning on staying for another year. New plan: fuck her, we move. There's several factors in this, the main one being that HN can't get comfy. He still has hurt feelings over the fact that he thought they were friends but she turned out to be a fucking lunatic. It's easier for me to get over, because I spend the majority of my days here alone enjoying the rambling bucolic-icity of the joint, sunning myself on the asphalt driveway with dog and wandering the woods, also with dog. It is not a bad life from 9-5.
Anyhoooo, about a month ago I talked to FFFO about us not actually moving out. I told her I thought we'd like to stay, asked what her plans were for the place as far as finishing any of the work promised to go on when we first moved in, and asked her about rent. I got NO CAN DO on anymore work, MIGHT CAN DO on the issue of the broken thermostat and ANSWER UNCLEAR about whether they were changing rent (vague threat from way back) Conversation ended with "I'll let you know about rent" Fast forward one month. Not having heard back from her (and following her strict example of if YOU say YOU'LL get back to ME, I am absolved of ALL reponsibility for talking to YOU first) , I begin perusing housing listings on Craigslist. Once around the block with this ho was enough and I won't be caught out again by presuming she is a good person. Pickings are looking preeeety OK, so HN and I begin in earnest to discuss what to do. He basically takes a big deep breath and unloads about how much he hates it here, never comfortable, etc etc etc but hasn't been saying anything because I work from home and he knows how much I enjoy the aforementioned activities and he will stay and deal with it if I want to. Nice offer bitterbutt, but I think I'll take the trade of moving somewhere else with having my normal sane boyfriend back. I'm also not that fond of FFFO, but like I said, she's around like 20% of my life and I'm good at out of sight out of mind. So, for kicks the other night (and in order to have all pertinent info before pulling the trigger on a move) I decide to break down and ask her about rent and she announces they're raising it $100 and starts to list all the things they're going to do with the extra money. Bitch, please. Firstly, 100 bucks in the scope of what you pay for this place will make NO difference. Secondly, I believe NOT FOR ONE RED SECOND that you will do shit to this place. After all, they collected insurance money to do work on one part of the house last year and it NEVER HAPPENED. You have gotten complacent, because we're in and are reasonably tolerant and you are one of those "take what you can get from anyone/everyone types of people" Third, unbeknownst to you, I have looked around and one can get an INSULATED house for less than what we pay now. That's savings on rent, and the ability to heat the place for under 500 bucks a month (we are expected here to leave doors from the heated half of the house open to the non heated half so pipes don't freeze. Probably NOT this year). No, there are not 35 acres immediate connecting to 1000 more in the yard, but those 1000 acres are still within a bike ride of some new places.
After the rent discussion, she also says she wants to "sit me down and talk to me about the lawn" situation. More than done with the conversation after the last bullshit point,
I say "oh, (snickering laugh and pointing at you because you are a cunt) I don't get sat down and talked to. What did you want to say?"
Her:"Well, we'd like you guys to be better about the lawn next year. You were sporadic with mowing this year"
Me:"well is that all you wanted to say?"
Her:"well yes. "
Me: "well wasn't that easy. No need to "sit me down" now, right?"
Her:"umm ok. (seeing her dreams of calling me into the principal's office crumbling, perhaps beginning to noticeI don't care ?) Well, also (NOTE: shifty eyes and licking lips indicate BIG FAT LIE coming my way), uhh, I had to mow your lawn a few times over the summer. It was getting bad and there was poison ivy ALL OVER THE PLACE"
Me: (internally LYING CUNT DIE DIE DIE) "Weird. I hardly noticed, and it's so weird, because Star and I lie around the lawn ALL THE TIME. I know the lawn got long between mows, but you know we had problems with the mower we bought and we were pretty much at the mercy of the dude who was coming to mow for us. In the end yes, we could have been better" Bitchy smile, end conversation retreat to house. Announce to HN "Get the boxes, we move TONIGHT!" (we did not move tonight,but my point was clear)
ANGERING FACTS about the lawn issue:
1) she just bought a cadillac of fucking lawn mowers, which brings her stable of riding mowers to 3. She mows roughly an acre or 2 an hour on this thing, and for her to spin over our lawn would have taken her no more than 10 minutes. It is my opinion this should just be one of the things she does, or she should have let us use a mower. Instead, she insisted we should hire her kid to mow it, because the kid needs money. We opted to buy a mower instead, as I found it more palatable than being shaken down for more money by a greedy cunt who just dropped 900large on a farm she didn't need.
2)There is nothing in the lease about us mowing the lawn. In fact, we weren't even sure we were really on the hook for it until the day she stapled a nasty typewritten note to the door stating that the lawn had gotten too long. (she could not be bothered to mention it casually in any of the conversations we were having DAILY) It is my point of view that if you are going to have someone sign an 18 page lease contract which spells out things like having to close windows when it rains, etc then what you DON'T put in there becomes everything. There is nothing mentioned about the lawn.
3) SHE FUCKING LIED. Big stupid, coward, fake "all up in your face girl power" chickenshit bully. LIAR!! I HATE LIARS! HATE. Will not tolerate, do not respect. SUCK IT. She's a shitty, LOUD, righteous person who is always walking around proclaiming how she is the only one who can do anything right, but I believe a large portion of this issue comes from the fact that she thinks her ideas of what is right is so obvious people should always know what she wants, because she is too fucking cool to bother discussing. Peace bitch! You, I do not need. And I know she lied, because it's my lawn and I know how long it got, and I also was here everytime the dude came and mowed my silly long lawn. There is not one mowing unaccounted for. I WORK FROM HOME LIAR!
So this weekend, HN and I have plans to douche the house Saturday and break the news to her Sunday. I am most assured that once we tell her we are moving out, she will exercise her lease given right to enter the premises to inspect at anytime. (I personally believe she has already exercised this right, because while we were talking about the lawn, she started to say something else and stopped and looked away again and for whatever reason "she's been in the house" flashed in my head. I trust my gut more than I trust her and I fully believe) So, that's the FFFO portion of the giant asshole story.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE:
Example 2: Big boy, the snivelling CFO. The CFO of my company is this fat, balding, limp ass handshake having dude who always has a look on his face like he smells crap and it's coming from you. He also waddles when he walks, has man boobs and wears sandals in the summer that make him look like an overgrown 4 yr old when walking away. Think Baby Huey. It doesn't particularly bother me, because I work 350 miles away from him, and when I am in the office I work on the other side and never see him unless he's coming over for a soda or something. However, one thing that DOES get to me is that he is a perv and a bully. I caught him ONCE looking over my chesticles and waved my hand in front of the area while giving him a "I will eat your liver" smile and haven't had a problem since. It's disturbing to watch him with our comptroller however. She's a hottie southern girl, not modest, and not unaware that her boss harbors a sexual interest. He loves her feet (it's embarrassing to be in the same room and watch him watch her toes, watch her watch him watching her toes, and wiggle them now and then to keep him captivated. He loses track of what he was saying. Oh, have I mentioned he's married?)
Her tits, her toes, her problem I just try to avoid having to watch it. The worse part about him is that he is a fucking BULLY. He has made it his life's work to make the life of our office manager HELL, because she has self esteem issues and he smells weakness. She made a decision at some point to work 3 days for us and 2 for another job that she LOVES but can't afford to do only and full time, and this deal was approved by the president. (Her offer included volunteering to take calls from our company while she is at her other job, and this happens daily because she RUNS our company office). She also made a deal with her other job that they could call her on her days with us. Seems fair to me right? Roughly one month after we got a new part time admin to fill in the other 2 days a week she isn't here, DCFO (Douchebag CFO) sends an edict from on high that Innocent Office Manager (IOM) is no longer allowed to sit at the big desk in reception. He doesn't want her sharing a desk with the other girl (who mainly answers phones and stuff envelopes) Somehow, IOM comes out on the losing end of this deal, even though she ought to be out front because she handles everything, and really how big a desk does one need to stuff envelopes? Anyhow, IOM sucked it up because that's what she does, and took to a shared office with the comptroller. Within days, the points of the exercise became clear to anyone who is fucking AWAKE. 1)DCFO has started rolling MAJOR PERCENTAGES of his work downhill to comptroller, who in turn has to roll major percentages of her work to IOM. He rolls enough down that it is now a company joke to figure out what he DOES do. As in, even the president can't answer the question of what exactly DCFO is doing all day. So we now have IOM doing billing, taking checks, handling money- you know, comptroller stuff but not for comptroller pay. We also have DCFO strolling in all day to look at comptrollers boobs and feet, and hiding in the hallway looking in over IOM's shoulder so he can gaage what he thinks she's doing by what apps she is having open at the time, which was the second point of his relocating her. He couldn't previously see over her shoulder because of the way the big desk out front sits, and she types really fast which makes him suspicious and afraid that she is planning his death or something I guess.
From time to time we get edicts from on high penned by DCFO which I guess answers some of what he's doing with his time (though not enough to explain why it took 4 months for my stock option grant paperwork to come through). Everytime one of these edicts roll down, I know it is a stab at IOM and I always call her to ask what she did. She always has an answer So about 2 weeks after giving up the big desk to do more of comptrollers work, there is a edict issued about IM at work (laughed over when I called my boss to ask if we weren't supposed to use IM at work, would it be better if I called the UK office from my cell for $1/minute.) I call IOM to get the dirt, she replies "I was on IM with other job when he was watching" IOM did finally work up to say to him that if he doesn't want her answering queries from her other job while here WHICH WAS AGREED TO BE OK BY YOUR BOSS, then would he circulate something about how noone was to contact her on her days away from our company? Nothing came out, so the current system stays in place.
This goes on and on. Little person, snide emails from DCFO, always prompted by some way he is trying to make life harder on IOM. I have even brought this to the attention of the president, who in SHOCK OF SHOCKS (and I mean that, I was shocked) is a super conflict avoider! I've made the point and the case that DCFO is a bully terrorist and asked Pres to go across the hall and tell him to quit it with the mails, and maybe even pay attention to what DCFO is doing and to stop the insanity. No luck so far. I will not give up.
The lasted edict came out last friday. It reads:
To all MY COMPANY staff,
Just a reminder that the office hours are 8.30 am to 5pm EST Monday to Friday. Our customers and prospects are familiar with these hours making them the most likely times that they will call and it is important that we be available in the office when they do.
I appreciate that with such a small team there is a need for flexibility and thank you for being flexible. It is common for each of us to take calls outside of those times as well as being available for travel sometimes well into the early hours or over weekends. However, I ask that you also respect the office hours and be available at your desk for when the phone rings.
To make sure that we are all aware of who is in and when they are in, I will ask IOM to post a shared file that we can update for ourselves so that the rest of us know when we are on vacation, travelling etc.
Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.
DCFO
Just to review:
1) office hours are 8:30-5, but you are also expected to suck up answering calls before and after that time, and also to suck up travel time without being comped for it (oh right, he never travels so it's not a big deal) btw, the only one who ever leaves the office at 5 is him. And also, noone ever calls him so he doesn't do shit before of after business hours except for the rare early UK management calls.
2) IOM gets to manage us like a daycare in addition to all she does otherwise.
I read this, utter SEVERAL curse words LOUDLY and call IOM to ask how late she was this morning. She got in a 8:41 and by that time the president already had mail from DCFO about how he was ON A CALL and the phone rang TWICE and NOONE ANSWERED and he was VERY DISTRACTED while he was on his IMPORTANT CALL and would the president PLEASE ask IMO to be in the office ON TIME. UGH.
I call my boss to rant about this BECAUSE IT'S BULLSHIT, she agrees. I call the president, he laughs about how DCFO is walking funny and it might be because he tore a hamstring answering the phone or worrying about answering the phone etc etc. I ask him if he is aware that this is another one of DCFOs plots to terrorize IOM and he laughs more. I get fucking irritated and swear at him. He laughs more (NOT THE INTENDED EFFECT). This goes on, I get worked up more than I know is good for me and hang up before I say something stupid. (this topic will be revisited in person the next time I am in WF. Fuck this shit, we're not a big company and I won't be cunted around by policies based on the smallness of someone with a title)
Cut to Monday and Tuesday. IOM and everyone else show up at 8:30, in keeping with NEW IMPORTANT POLICY and....DCFO rolls in around 9. Both days. Without explanation.
I stew on that (now taking this way too personally but I hate me some bully and I need a cause and I also have my period and you know how that goes...)
So yesterday goes like this:
DCFO late again.
I fire off mail to my boss, Pres, Vice Pres, and IOM. Contents below (let this be a lesson about the perks of working in a small company. I know this could not happen in the real world):
IOM,
Big bitchy kisses to everyone,
k
I get a bunch of "oh you so funny" responses (I AM NOT KIDDING MOTHERFUCKERS!), including this gem from El Presidente..
Sending this is a direct violation of employee hand book directive 1.A.II/c.3 subset 97. You can look it up.
He's joking. Ahaha, isn't that DCFO a card? I don't think so, I respond:
We could just have IOM violate it then we would all get a public reminder.
No response. Color me shocked. (well I was a little, but I'm accepting of it until I get him in person) So I just followed up with a nice note about how I respect the office of DCFO, I understand by the lack of response from the president about this silly email that he must be on board and close by telling him how much! I look forward to my new office hours.
But it is not over by a long shot. I keep hoping DCFO will take a direct potshot, preferably at me because then I would have a leg to stand on with my arguments and it would no longer be ignorable or deniable even to The Pres but you can't just go getting in someone's face until that point. I know it won't happen though, because I don't smell scared like IOM does and he is exactly the kind of person who will never say anything to someone who would speak back. A girl can dream though.
/rant. For now.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Photo essay
First, Orion as Ferdinand the Bull. I don't know which inspired who but here's the proof.
Exhibit A:
Can you even tell who is who ?
There's more but since this could go on all day, we'll move to profound looking kitty shots.
Doesn't he look smart and important? perhaps he is thinking interesting thoughts in FRONSH!
Webworms! Up close and personal because the tree it was in fell down go boom. If a tree falls in the forest and I'm not there to hear it, does it still fall??
Fat ass amphibians ALL UP IN HERE! We had some rain recently and it seems to have rehydrated some of the dessicated toads I've been finding all over the lawn. I saved one that didn't come back to life, pics to follow. I'm waiting for the stink to die down.
Orion learns from Kitty! and uses his mad knowledge to sneak into small spoon position with Star. Their dynamic now is pretty awesome. For one he's FINALLY figured out he's bigger so he's not so scared of things like shark face and bitchy off putting growls. He's all "you don't mean that. i love you...move over" and she's all "ugh. I'm not getting up. Le Sigh..."
It doesn't matter AT ALL that there are 1001 squirrels around here all day. They never stop being exciting or worth chasing.
BATTLE ROYALE! This shit was like something out of the discovery channel man! Honeybee flying around kitchen, annoying me and being loud. Suddenly the sound level turns up and I HAVE to investigate. Bee had flown into a spider web in the corner and was in process of being done did by the spider. I watched for a solid 20 minutes while bee struggled to get away, and spider struggled to wrap up his dinner while not getting stung. There were a couple of times I thought bee might make it, but eventually the buzz died down and spider began wrapping it up, stopping to punctuate bee's midsection with stings or whatever spiders do. I let it sit for a day or two, watched for progress and then asked HN to vacuum the mess up. I don't do dead if it's not interesting.
Exhibit A:
Can you even tell who is who ?There's more but since this could go on all day, we'll move to profound looking kitty shots.
Doesn't he look smart and important? perhaps he is thinking interesting thoughts in FRONSH!
Webworms! Up close and personal because the tree it was in fell down go boom. If a tree falls in the forest and I'm not there to hear it, does it still fall??
Fat ass amphibians ALL UP IN HERE! We had some rain recently and it seems to have rehydrated some of the dessicated toads I've been finding all over the lawn. I saved one that didn't come back to life, pics to follow. I'm waiting for the stink to die down.
Orion learns from Kitty! and uses his mad knowledge to sneak into small spoon position with Star. Their dynamic now is pretty awesome. For one he's FINALLY figured out he's bigger so he's not so scared of things like shark face and bitchy off putting growls. He's all "you don't mean that. i love you...move over" and she's all "ugh. I'm not getting up. Le Sigh..."
It doesn't matter AT ALL that there are 1001 squirrels around here all day. They never stop being exciting or worth chasing.
BATTLE ROYALE! This shit was like something out of the discovery channel man! Honeybee flying around kitchen, annoying me and being loud. Suddenly the sound level turns up and I HAVE to investigate. Bee had flown into a spider web in the corner and was in process of being done did by the spider. I watched for a solid 20 minutes while bee struggled to get away, and spider struggled to wrap up his dinner while not getting stung. There were a couple of times I thought bee might make it, but eventually the buzz died down and spider began wrapping it up, stopping to punctuate bee's midsection with stings or whatever spiders do. I let it sit for a day or two, watched for progress and then asked HN to vacuum the mess up. I don't do dead if it's not interesting.
new stuff!
So far, so good.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Cooking with heat
So for whatever reason, I've been thinking about our grocery budget lately. In the sense that I'm sure we spend more than we need to. I am also struggling with my fridge/freezer because I feel like it's either totally empty or ridiculously, overflowingly full. I also feel like when it's full I end up buying things I had in there anyway and for some reason once I freeze something I like to keep it forever. Freezing for me is more of an archive thing rather than a put it in here for now so it doesn't rot but make sure to actually use it, probably soon deal. I feel like a freezer in my mind is preparation for the apocalypse. I don't know why, but case in point: tomatoes. We had a ridiculous amount of cherry tomatoes this year, so I would blend and freeze them in bags. Haven't used one yet, though I have a BUNCH, and I have made things in which they would have been perfect. And known it at the time but not been able to use them. I know not from where my issue comes. My freezer is a little library, only instead of books it's ziploc bags of tomatoes, squashes, wine and stock. (fill a bag, freeze it flat, stand it up and file! and keep! forever!) The first step is admitting I have a problem, and I'm working through it.
Anyway, I decided last weekend to begin tracking spending (last Sunday to be specific, because last Sat we went to a slow foods dinner, which we had to bring a dish to that I naively thought had to be made of local food so I shot my wad at the farmer's market. I was wrong, the dinner wasn't quite what we were looking for, but now we know what that's all about.) Back to the grocery thing: we both make decent scratch and not having kids gives one all sorts of luxury choices, like $10/lb coffee (which I justify as budget-y because it equals 2 starbucks cups), so I think we just don't bother being as smart as we could be because we don't totally need to. I do a lot of "ugh, I can't believe this cost x much" and then buying it anyway because I can. Lots of people can't and there's a big thing going on for the next month or to see what it's like to live on food stamps, which average less than $30 per person per week. Check it out. It comes at a good time for me, and sort of fits in with my plan.
So, anyway, you may recall my having a fit 6 months or so ago about not throwing away food. We've actually been doing ok with this one, as I've figured out that the problem is largely that I get bored eating most things more than twice so I've started recycling stuff into other food. Leftover pork roast that I didn't love got chopped up, sauteed with some onion, coriander and cumin seeds, added to black beans and voila! white girl wannabe Cuban pork deliciousness. Chicken soup gets boiled down, thickened up, padded with more veggies and becomes chicken pot pie. Those are the only two I have so far, but I'm feeling pretty good about the concept. My dad used to do it all the time and so I know I have the raw materials to make it work.
This ties in with the above freezer ramble because to the end of saving money, stopping wasting food, not using anything just once, and not shopping for what I already need, this week I am not going to the grocery store. Ok, that's a lie I'm going to the store, but not in the "ooh I saw this recipe online today so I'm going to stock up on what I need to make it" way. The only things I'm going to buy are under $20 total worth of milk, and some more vegetables (a one time deal) because I don't think I have enough of those to make it through. But otherwise, I think that's about all I'm allowing myself to buy. Things one needs to survive that can't be replaced or made. I have a ridiculous amount of shit in the pantries, I refuse to believe that I can't cabinet commando a miracle a day for a whole week. My goto starch is rice, but I have couscous and all manner of other random grains kicking it cupboard style, and I think it's time we got to know one another.
I actually had this fit/epiphany last night and was able to scare up a decent african groundnut stew just out of things I had in the freezer. Normally I would have gone ot the store for carrots, yams and spinach but in keeping with my boycott I just made it without and subbed in some kale
I did however use some couscous. This is what real progress looks like bitches!
Anyway, I decided last weekend to begin tracking spending (last Sunday to be specific, because last Sat we went to a slow foods dinner, which we had to bring a dish to that I naively thought had to be made of local food so I shot my wad at the farmer's market. I was wrong, the dinner wasn't quite what we were looking for, but now we know what that's all about.) Back to the grocery thing: we both make decent scratch and not having kids gives one all sorts of luxury choices, like $10/lb coffee (which I justify as budget-y because it equals 2 starbucks cups), so I think we just don't bother being as smart as we could be because we don't totally need to. I do a lot of "ugh, I can't believe this cost x much" and then buying it anyway because I can. Lots of people can't and there's a big thing going on for the next month or to see what it's like to live on food stamps, which average less than $30 per person per week. Check it out. It comes at a good time for me, and sort of fits in with my plan.
So, anyway, you may recall my having a fit 6 months or so ago about not throwing away food. We've actually been doing ok with this one, as I've figured out that the problem is largely that I get bored eating most things more than twice so I've started recycling stuff into other food. Leftover pork roast that I didn't love got chopped up, sauteed with some onion, coriander and cumin seeds, added to black beans and voila! white girl wannabe Cuban pork deliciousness. Chicken soup gets boiled down, thickened up, padded with more veggies and becomes chicken pot pie. Those are the only two I have so far, but I'm feeling pretty good about the concept. My dad used to do it all the time and so I know I have the raw materials to make it work.
This ties in with the above freezer ramble because to the end of saving money, stopping wasting food, not using anything just once, and not shopping for what I already need, this week I am not going to the grocery store. Ok, that's a lie I'm going to the store, but not in the "ooh I saw this recipe online today so I'm going to stock up on what I need to make it" way. The only things I'm going to buy are under $20 total worth of milk, and some more vegetables (a one time deal) because I don't think I have enough of those to make it through. But otherwise, I think that's about all I'm allowing myself to buy. Things one needs to survive that can't be replaced or made. I have a ridiculous amount of shit in the pantries, I refuse to believe that I can't cabinet commando a miracle a day for a whole week. My goto starch is rice, but I have couscous and all manner of other random grains kicking it cupboard style, and I think it's time we got to know one another.
I actually had this fit/epiphany last night and was able to scare up a decent african groundnut stew just out of things I had in the freezer. Normally I would have gone ot the store for carrots, yams and spinach but in keeping with my boycott I just made it without and subbed in some kale
I did however use some couscous. This is what real progress looks like bitches!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Holy Crap
So lots of days when the dog(s) and I go down to the pond for the workday seventh inning stretch, we flush out this beautiful heron that's hanging out. I think he was using us as a layover for a while, because he just appeared a couple of weeks ago, he was def not there the whole time. Unless he followed HN home from work, because he has one there too. But I digress...
Anyhow, so when dogs and I go down there, we have on numerous occasions disturbed his nap and peace of life so he takes off, which is an awesome sight. He's HUGE and the pond is small so in the scale he sort of looks like a raptor and he does these crazy slow, looooong wing beats and just makes some serious TIME! His feet drag in the water and he just goes up the littlest bit at a time as he heads over the bushes into the golf course. AMAZING sight, and everytime I am totally shocked and rendered speechless (as opposed to the running conversation I am no doubt carrying on withmy imaginary friend come to life the dog)
I bring my camera with me all the time, and I have NEVER managed to get a picture of him. Ever. By the time I recover from how awesome he is, he's gone.
Today was no exception.
BUT, he did take a crap while he was heading off and I managed to get a picture of that so you have some idea of his size.
My foot for scale (it's UGG time hos!!):
Anyhow, so when dogs and I go down there, we have on numerous occasions disturbed his nap and peace of life so he takes off, which is an awesome sight. He's HUGE and the pond is small so in the scale he sort of looks like a raptor and he does these crazy slow, looooong wing beats and just makes some serious TIME! His feet drag in the water and he just goes up the littlest bit at a time as he heads over the bushes into the golf course. AMAZING sight, and everytime I am totally shocked and rendered speechless (as opposed to the running conversation I am no doubt carrying on with
I bring my camera with me all the time, and I have NEVER managed to get a picture of him. Ever. By the time I recover from how awesome he is, he's gone.
Today was no exception.
BUT, he did take a crap while he was heading off and I managed to get a picture of that so you have some idea of his size.
My foot for scale (it's UGG time hos!!):
Love always wins
and Kitty always gets his man!
Orion is our special guest star dog of the week, and Kitty instantly took to him. Who doesn't love a giant hunk of pitbull wrapped around the heart of a teddy bear?
It took a solid week, lots of bared teeth and growling and a few "run for your life" moments but Kitty finally won.
Orion is our special guest star dog of the week, and Kitty instantly took to him. Who doesn't love a giant hunk of pitbull wrapped around the heart of a teddy bear?
It took a solid week, lots of bared teeth and growling and a few "run for your life" moments but Kitty finally won.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The week in Blackberry
Sunday; I discovered a few things in the garden.
1) a rabbit. an asshole rabbit. dude ate all my basil. boo!
2) Zinnias. I love zinnias and they love fall. So bright and cheery in the foggy morning.
3) Tomatoes are still coming in. Some finally got caught up with the plague o'tomatoes of '09, but we have a few soldiers, like this yellow grape tomato dude here. Cayennes (not pictured) and Thai peppers still coming in as well, and plenty of green ones. Even got some jalapenos! Like 3, but I had given up so it's a win.
4)My good for nothing dog is robbing me! check out the background. What she's doing is while I'm in the garden picking tomatoes, she's cruising the fence line eating stragglers.
5) It's been ~10 years that I've had this dog and I will never not find humor in her ability to look totally BUSTED when she is.
Monday; Holly, CJ and Will.He.Is showed up to make small talk, chow down on some happy fish HN killed once and drop off Orion.
Tuesday; So far our guest seems to be enjoying himself, and he's nothing if not motivating to Star. Never have I seen this dog jump further off the dock or run harder then when Orion looks interested in something.
Otherwise, their interactions consist mostly of doing the exact same things in opposite directions or orders of execution, and pretending to ignore each other while actually being keenly interested in what the other is doing, but faking not so as to catch them in the act of something.
Trading places. No interaction had whatsoever.
There's also a lot of shoulder to shoulder being uninterested in each other. This is some of my favorite stuff.
The best part is neither of them will sleep during the day. They don't want to miss anything. They're completely exhausted by the end of the day and night is peace time.
1) a rabbit. an asshole rabbit. dude ate all my basil. boo!
2) Zinnias. I love zinnias and they love fall. So bright and cheery in the foggy morning.
3) Tomatoes are still coming in. Some finally got caught up with the plague o'tomatoes of '09, but we have a few soldiers, like this yellow grape tomato dude here. Cayennes (not pictured) and Thai peppers still coming in as well, and plenty of green ones. Even got some jalapenos! Like 3, but I had given up so it's a win.
4)My good for nothing dog is robbing me! check out the background. What she's doing is while I'm in the garden picking tomatoes, she's cruising the fence line eating stragglers.
5) It's been ~10 years that I've had this dog and I will never not find humor in her ability to look totally BUSTED when she is.
Monday; Holly, CJ and Will.He.Is showed up to make small talk, chow down on some happy fish HN killed once and drop off Orion.
Tuesday; So far our guest seems to be enjoying himself, and he's nothing if not motivating to Star. Never have I seen this dog jump further off the dock or run harder then when Orion looks interested in something.
Otherwise, their interactions consist mostly of doing the exact same things in opposite directions or orders of execution, and pretending to ignore each other while actually being keenly interested in what the other is doing, but faking not so as to catch them in the act of something.
Here we have Star ecstatically writhing and Orion scouting the water.
Trading places. No interaction had whatsoever.
There's also a lot of shoulder to shoulder being uninterested in each other. This is some of my favorite stuff.
The best part is neither of them will sleep during the day. They don't want to miss anything. They're completely exhausted by the end of the day and night is peace time.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
bienvenue à l'abattoir
Doesn't it sound exotic? Reading up on the secret to tender pork and came across the word abattoir. I am entranced; those around me, perplexed.
Survived the wedding in my heels, although there were incidents with some old ladies. I can only take this as a sign that the heels carried off the look I was going for. And I managed to maintain my classy facade, and didn't tell anyone that hos with fragile hips ought watch out the way their denture holders run. AND I had been drinking. This is major progress, and I take it as a sign of the maturity that was bound to come with age.
Anyhow. Today has been le bon dimanche.
Here's why:
Survived the wedding in my heels, although there were incidents with some old ladies. I can only take this as a sign that the heels carried off the look I was going for. And I managed to maintain my classy facade, and didn't tell anyone that hos with fragile hips ought watch out the way their denture holders run. AND I had been drinking. This is major progress, and I take it as a sign of the maturity that was bound to come with age.
Anyhow. Today has been le bon dimanche.
Here's why:
- HN. It would be vulgar to go into particulars.
- Simple Green and the Shop Vac: A Love Story. I have absolutely DOUCHED my house today. With our travels, then my solo (work) travels, and HN juggling school and coaching, things like "putting things away", "taking out trash" and "living like humans" go right by the wayside. We have been planning this weekend as the big clean for a few days now, which means that pretty much ALL housekeeping starts to go by the wayside as "eh, it'll be taken care of this weekend" has become my mantra. We even found another chicken of the woods fungus that his dad had sent us, that we'd put aside and totally forgotten about (AND it turned out to be the source of a smell we'd both been wondering about for days. BONUS!) So basically my house looked like a crime scene, and not in the cool be on tv show way. Now, it looks good and smells good.
- Cheesy detective books. Like balm for the soul and awesome for wasting hours.
- Pork. Making delicious pork roast right now. Preeeeeetty excited.
Friday, October 2, 2009
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