Thursday, December 30, 2010

ner ner

My street is cooler than your street!!

AND we have an old man in a diaper who drops a tin foil ball at midnight. Pictures to come!!

Question...

What exactly do men *do* in the bathroom for 35 minutes and counting ?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Let's take a ride in the way back machine

Circa 2003, a gift from an old friend.

Star and I "hiking". I don't know if it counts as hiking if your dog has to go first so you can go under her with your shoulder on her ass and push her up the vertical sections. I just remember it was fun and she was game. Pictures like this always make me sad about the shit we did where noone had a camera. Although my parents are probably grateful not to know...


also circa 2003. I distinctly remember people calling my dog fat and my arguing that she was just big boned. Umm, you were all right!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Storm ready- Christmas blizzard of 2010

Meet mega bed...Mega bed is an air matress inflated and moved into the L between the sofa and loveseat, so that anyone on either of those pieces of furniture can expand their slouch without fear of running out of space. Megabed also allows for anyone dozing off mid football game to slide right down and go to sleep in total comfort and without risk of a sore neck in the morning.

Megabed rules!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

oh xmas tree...oh xmas tree...

Oh Xmas tree...made out of reclaimed branches jj and kj found in somesone's trash...

Direct quote "can you believe they were just going to throw this stuff away!?"

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Today is...

Practicing something new...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

My bsod is the strong silent type.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

home again home again

A pictorial overview of my UK insertion mission last week. The verbal version would be decidedly uninteresting, as the main purpose was work and we arrived Weds morning and went straight to the office, then worked Thurs and had meetings and the party friday. The basic purpose of the trip was team building between the 2 offices and going to the company xmas party.

I shared an apt with 2 male coworkers, near my apt from last time. Here are their beds in the boys room. I thought it was nice that they could have spooned without having to get up. I tried my best to catch them in the act, but they appear to have kept quite separate. BORING!

foot for scale. cuddle up kids!


My bed. Quite large enough for me to sleep sideways, which is something I do love to do whenever possible. It just feels so rebellious!


View from the restaurant where the party kicked off under the guise of a respectable dinner. Lovely isn't it ?

2 bars later there were balloon animals. I have many many photos of people inflating and waving the long balloons around. Sadly they all have faces and I don't know how many of them would appreciate my posting. FYI, the beginning stages of a balloon animal looks JUST LIKE meat and 2 veg, if you hear me.

12 hours later: uh oh, is someone drunky?


Hangover interception/mitigation that night came in the form of 2 gas station frozen pizzas and a cream soda. Salvation the next morning came in the form of guinness and shepherd's pie. IT WILL CURE WHAT AILS YOU! Also, french fries+ Gravy = heaven! Always!





Thursday, November 25, 2010

Screen in the sink

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All the time in the world....and I did it to myself!

So, I won't go into the details but growing up in my house Thanksgiving was always greeted with trepidation. Something ALWAYS went tits up. Illness, broken bones, fires, mental breakdowns and subsequent removal of breaking down party by the police: you could always count on at least one of the above, and in many cases several of the above concurrently. I'm not even exaggerating.

Anyhoo, it's a bit of a running joke in our family. "watch out, Thanksgiving's coming" Gobble gobble has an entirely sinister connotation in our family. Like make a dracula/giant monster "I'm coming to kill you" motion and say "Gobble gobble" Welcome to my family.

So this year my sister is talking about her grand plans. She's having the outlaws over for dinner, got a giant bird, blah blah blah.

Me? I have no plans. I am PLANNING to have NO PLANS, which may or may not consist of awesome spontaneous things like not leaving the house, eating mac and cheese, sewing, walking dog and not showering- all to be done in due course if/when I feel like doing them. HN is planning to go home to his family, I opted for staying home alone with my sewing machine, a pile of projects and a spinning head full of ideas. Yahoo right?!

My sister calls me last night to tell me her oven just broke. They ordered a new one, and it will be in Monday. We have a good, relieved laugh. When you know the shoe is going to drop, it can all get a bit tense waiting to see who will get hit with the shrapnel and I was glad it was her and she was glad it was not involving safety of loved ones (seriously. this is how we roll. Pack of hot, neurotic messes we are). She can use her neighbor's oven and so keep on keeping on while at the same time maintaining the family curse. MULTI-TASKER!

So then (and this is the part where it's my fault), at about 9pm I see HN off onto the road, take a deep breath and sit down very well pleased with myself to begin to sew. Let me back up. I do a little dance about me being home alone with all my sewing, and the twilight zone episode from whence my title comes pops into my head. I even do a little "I have all the time in the world" dance and then I immediately clap my hand over my mouth because I HAVE JUST TEMPTED FATE. F! I know this rule!! This is another big one in my family, indirectly related to when people say things like "What else could go wrong?" and then Bad Things Happen. I think we have a direct pipeline to the ears of the fates because whenever someone says it, they inevitably find out in rather short order so as a general rule noone says it, and when someone does everyone yells at them and takes 5 steps back until we see what the damage will look like. (this is actually most excellent when done in my sister's presence. She gets angry, bonafide.)

I digress. Back to me babbling about all the time in the world. I immediately regretted my error, but it was too late so I began to think about what might go wrong. I do a little sewing, hit upon the idea I was looking for and forget my sorrows. I prepare a few pieces of fabric, so I can increase productivity and do my night's work assembly line style. I line everything up, insert a test swatch into my machine to check thread tension and KABOOM! The worst noise I've ever heard my sewing machine make, followed by a little rain of metal from above. NOT GOOD.

Now it's just me, my busted glasses and a back up plan.


Backup plans. That's what I'm thankful for this year.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Gosh! are you all dumb! MOM!!!

I have a new hero. See below, I copied this from a tech forum. Background unnecessary, this cheese stands alone.

JW has asked that NT Batch questions are not asked in an inappropiate forum.

You can not use the MSDOS in XP as it does not have any, will never have any and I would be pleased if everybody got this into their skulls. XP is based on IBM OS/2, NT3, NT4, W2K and therefore a 32bit O/S with an intergrated GUI, totally unlike MSDOS

Even Linux in command line looks similar to MSDOS, but it is Linix, please will all you NT users please read and digest the following article as it explains why NT is not MSDOS and MSDOS is an emulation:

http://www.computing.net/windowsxp/wwwboard/forum/103161.html


So would you do this guy a favor and just get this into your skulls???

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Adventures in awkward

Schematic of the incident


I don't know how I forgot to tell this story.

HN's mother and her husband were in town for a week or so and I took an afternoon to take them to the mall to pick up some ipods for their grandchildren blah blah blah. Anyhow, it was raining, and we're driving home, down a road that has 2 lanes in either direction. The car in front of me moves over to avoid a large puddle and I consider doing the same, but then somehow I'm all super smart and smarmy and thinking "I have all wheel drive, I won't hydroplane. That dude is a p*ssy" so I keep on in the same lane, and just as I'm about to hit the puddle I see this little old lady, more specifically I see her huge eyes and her big "O" of a mouth as she and I both realize she is about to get the puddling of her lifetime. I didn't at this point have time to switch lanes and hitting the brakes on water is just not good, so I just went for it and *really* hoped that on top of it I wouldn't hydroplane, because really, how embarrassing would that be. The speed limit on this road is like 45, really I had no time to do anything safely. So I did it. I hosed this lady down for DAYS.

Then I bit my lip, then I burst out laughing because HONESTLY 1) that's bad karma and now I know I have a puddling or something coming my way 2) I was so smug in my all wheel drive-ness and 3) your boyfriends PARENTS in the car when you pull shit like that? That's going to go far....

So I proceed to laugh somewhat hysterically, because it's all so weird and I'm so uncomfortable right now, only it's that crazy laugh where your eyes are telling the story of how weird you feel while your mouth kicks it up a notch by opening wider and being louder. So that goes on for a few minutes, with HN's mother just staring at me and my brain rapidly trying to close down everything that I am doing right now. I finally get myself under control, ensue awkward 5 minutes of silence and then HN's mother ends it all with. "Well. Shall we go somewhere and get some lunch. Perhaps you would have a glass of wine."

Indeed.

Monday, November 15, 2010

what is is

I have finally accepted that my bonsai tree is gone.


Making a quilt for my dad. Too busy?


Kitty is feeling better.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The good, the bad and the not very flattering

So the good is that I have a reasonably normal week ahoy. By that I mean I am not traveling this week, there are no out-of-towners to entertain and there is also something else that provides relief that I am currently unable to think of, but I'll let you know. But I know there were 3 things.

The bad is that I am still sick-ish. I can't even actually decide if I'm sick or if it really is allergies like I keep telling people - if I say it enough will it become true? Please? And if so, what am I allergic to exactly that has lasted this long? Fall? Baltimore? Wine? MYSELF???!

I guess if you look at me (this is where the not so flattering (but ugly would be a stretch) comes in) I might appear to be sick. At least this is the message I'm getting based on the fact that HN keeps looking at me and knotting his eyebrows together in concern and going "awwww". Whatever, we all express desire in different ways and I'm not here to judge. My chapped nose is quite probably considered sexy in many cultures, and I know women who sleep in wool hats and sweaters and cotton sweat pants with their faces buried in a handkerchief are also quite the turn on (although, I don't think if I were to wave and drop this particular handkerchief that HN would gallantly race to pick it up without a biohazard suit on).

Essentially this is what HN has been coming home to every day: Wild hair, because I can get through the shower part but I really just don't have blowdrying/styling in me right now so I pretty much trade in my hair towel for a hat and praise the fact that wool keeps you warm even when wet, bloodshot eyes with big sexy bags under them and a nose area which is just a hot mess of chapped skin/mucosal egress right now. Fuck, I think I've turned into my mother.


But I can still cook. Or at least I could 3 days ago and for now, we're still living large on leftovers.

Saturday HN's mother made this, which he seemed to like so I then duplicated it on Sunday because I had a pound of shredded chicken going nowhere fast in the fridge due to a slight miscalculation in whether I was making soup for 2 people or 10 last week. It turned out to be 2 and I was left with a ton of shredded chicken just waiting for me to do something with it. I had already made empanadas last week for company (empanadas de pino, using the recipe from cook's illustrated;big hit) and then used the leftover dough from that venture to make Moroccan spiced butternut squash empanaditas (fucking good) the next day. Anyhoo, I made the aji de gallina sunday, adding some Jalapeno powder and cumin but otherwise sticking mostly to the recipe. Solid dish, good use for the meat but I don't know that it's going into heavy rotation as a destination. I'm not a huge fan of chicken and cream based things. Meh.

Anyhow, I had a long solid day of doing nothing yesterday and am feeling like I could almost be on the mend. For dinner last night I ate a bowl of shredded beets and carrots as big as my head with some vinegar for good measure, and today I'm on a program of even more veggies (stuff is starting to go soft in the fridge while I convalesce) plus a shit ton of pickled hot peppers; vitamin C plus hellfire and brimstone and this cold/allergy/parasite doesn't stand a chance. I'm supposed to have an onsite meeting today and I'm on the fence. On the one hand, it would be nice to get out of the house and perhaps even to see people but on the other, the novelty of those things tends to wear off after 10 minutes or so, and then the actual meeting continues on for another hour, so this could backfire. I have 4 hours and a jar of hot peppers between me and the time of decision. I'm also contemplating in some area of my brain getting exercise, thinking that if I just start acting like I'm fine and everything is good then my body will fall in line.

Being sick is boring I guess is the bottom line. BO-RING. and also, I'm lazy, so I can never decide if I want to stay in bed/dog bed/house because I'm lazy or legit tired. Then I think of those germy posters on the subway, you know the ones: "If you're sick keep your broke ass at home" or whatever they say and I try to compare myself to the dude in the picture and wonder if they're talking to me. Maybe I'll call the person with whom I was supposed to meet and cough for her, let her decide if she's up to the risk. Caveat emptor and all that...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

the problem with working from home

is that when you wake up feeling crap on a saturday, you still really have to leave the house for a while.

Also, I might firebomb my neighbors today. I'll let you know if it works out.

Friday, October 29, 2010

A case of the Fridays

All week long I've been sitting back, smugly eyeing HN over the rim of my coffee cup because he was sick. "See?" I said, "You need to sleep more, and be serious about vitamins and water and stuff. Look at me, I've been traveling for weeks and am healthy as a horse. Here, have a tissue"

So naturally this morning I woke up for my 6am post upgrade systems test with a sore throat and stuffy head and all those other things I was being smug at HN for having. Serves me right-ish, but luckily I have soup and tons of orange veggies on hand because I was cooking them for HN all week. Sick people food, I can do. (and honestly I think my main problem is allergies. There is a cold front blowing in and the trees are being divested of their leaves and I'm pretty much allergic to like, everything in it's dusty form)

and now, post upgrade systems having passed all checks I am going to climb into the dog's bed and wait for my coffee/dayquil/sunrise to kick in and make me human again.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday, so far

1) wait at bus stop for 35 minutes. Finally some woman tells me "you waiting for the number 4? me too, it's not coming. Let's go" and leads me to another stop where we catch it and she rips the bus driver a new one for the lack of signage at the normal stop.

2) my 1000 bead necklace breaks and I leave a little trail of orange beads behind me as I walk. At least I can find my way home now!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Make a note; things I am learning in the UK

Educational trip this one!

Monday I learned that looking up the bus route on the internet is not the best way to figure out your bus route. Not when you're me anyway, I confuse easily. I know that I know this, but I keep forgetting and thinking that I can do it and then I'm all going out into the world and getting on weird buses. I also learned that I'm apparently kind of annoying. When I got on I asked the bus driver to take me to where I thought I wanted to go, and paid my fare. At some point I asked him again about where I was going and he got all pissy and pulled over and let me/told me to get off. I was all "whatever dude" and then I was all "hmm. where am I? I wonder if they will find me. Perhaps I should have gotten that mobile phone I thought about" I started walking in the direction the bus had left in, thinking that I must be close, and then I saw a sign for the American Cemetery which confirmed it. 2 RAINY miles later, I arrived at work, really REALLY glad I had bought a new raincoat right before I left home. It was a whim, and I'm glad I went with it.

Tuesday I learned that I apparently shout when I drink. I learned this when I went drinking with my coworkers and at one point there was one on either side, each patting me on the arm saying "calm down, it's fine". I thought in my head "Hmm, I must be shouting" I think it might be a Boston thing, because my college friends never placate, they just yell back.
I also learned that I had actually been thrown off the bus yesterday, not let off. My fare the second day was more expensive than Monday, and then it occurred to me that the bus driver Monday might have been so angry because when I showed him my ticket to ask him if we were there yet, he noticed I had gone past the stop I had paid for. I told my coworkers what I had said getting on and they said "yeah, no. that's not right" oops. Whatever. Then they told me what I *should* be saying to the bus driver, and then I also learned that sometimes asking people who know is the best way to figure stuff out.

Wednesday I learned that there are two #4 buses in Cambridge. Both are lovely, but not the same. I also learned that hangovers are totally ok at the office, and that when people say "Are you all right?" the WRONG answer is "yeah, why?" What they mean is "how are you?" and saying yeah why is weird and kind of rude.

Thursday I learned the american cemetery is awesome and immaculate, pictures to follow. I also learned that take out is not the norm. I went to a pub after work because I was starving and it was late and I was hungry and didn't want to cook but I really just needed to get home, so I asked for take out. The dude said "Ok" so I thought it was ok, but then he came out with a packet of tin foil, said "careful that's hot" and sent me on my way. Walking home with a hot packet of macaroni and cheese can be awkward, but I can do it.

Friday I learned we go to the pub for lunch! Yay!!!

TODAY I learned that that when they say "Next train leaving the platform is going to blah blah blah", they mean the NEXT NEXT train, not the one actually on the platform right now that you have boarded.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

omfg

I want to thank Jesus for bringing leggings back into style. It's like being in my PJs all day long without the judgment.

Look out world.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Thanks Hunt Valley Animal Hospital, for re-affirming my original fuck you assessment

Phone call # 1: Hunt Valley Animal Hospital

me: Hi, my cat used to be a patient there but isn't anymore because I live in the city. My new vet just told me he needs to be on a renal failure diet* but that this clinic doesn't have the capacity for that so I need to switch vets. She said that she would provide all his records and labwork for me to give you. Can I switch back to you and make you my vet for future visits and come get the food?

Receptionist: If he's not a patient anymore, we don't really do that. You'd need to make him a patient again and come have an exam and labs.

me: This exam was done Friday by a vet. I'll bring him for an exam but I don't think he needs new labs. (read: you're not stabbing my old sick cat again)

Receptionist: Yeah, we don't really do that.

me: So you won't give me the food my sick cat needs because the exam was done by someone else?

Receptionist: Yep. Did you want to make an appointment?

me: No, I think not. I can order the food online with vet verification, I just thought, you know, since you are theoretically in the PET WELLNESS business you might want to like, help keep my cat alive and comfortable for a while.

Receptionist: Well, good luck. Online sounds like the way to go.

me: indeed.


Phone call # 2 (Light St Animal Hospital)

me: Hi, my cat is not a patient there. My current vet just told me he needs to be on a renal failure diet but that this clinic doesn't have the capacity for that so I need to switch vets. She said that she would provide all his records and labwork for me to give you. Can I become a patient there and make you my vet for future visits and come get the food?

Receptionist: Yep. I'll go through and see what brands we have and have the Dr here give you a call back.

me: Do I need to bring the cat down for an exam or something?

Receptionist: No, we don't need to do that to him. Just talk to our Dr when he calls you - which will be today - and then bring down the paperwork and stuff from your other vet. You might call your current vet and see if she recommends a specific brand, but I know we have all that stuff on hand.

me: see you later.


I fucking hate Hunt Valley. The reason I stopped going there in the first place is that they are fucking money machines with no real regard for the comfort of the dog. Their MO as far as I can tell is to stretch the pets life out without regard for comfort, for as long and as much money as possible. When Star was diagnosed with her thyroid tumor, their immediate recommendation was a $3k surgery to remove her thyroid, then potential radiation something or other to treat what might be left. "BTW, she might die on the table since the tumor is enmeshed in her jugular vein and trachea and also, she won't really probably live any longer than she will WITH the tumor, and if we nick her trachea nerves she'll cough and gag for the rest of her life. Also also the whole rest of whatever time she is alive she will be uncontrollably hungry and thirsty all the time because she won't have any thyroid at all to regulate metabolism. But I think it's worth it, here's a pamphlet, call to schedule surgery. Also, she has some tartar, so I think you should schedule a second anesthetic session and have her teeth cleaned. That would be $700 but dog tooth hygiene is really really important".

I made that "am I confused or are you an asshole or am I missing something?" face, mentioned that I thought tartar was lower on my list of priorities than cancer, confirmed that life span with or without the tumor was looking like roughly the same, the only differences being that with the tumor, she just has a tumor (gross and sucky, yes) but that in order to be without the tumor (with the surgery) she would be miserable and possibly paralyzed in her windpipe, and also as a geriatric dog, probably have some issues recovering from the surgery. All of my suspicions confirmed, I informed the vet that we were going to go for a "quality of life" treatment route and that I would call her when I thought the quality was lacking, gathered my dog while she protested, paid the exorbitant bill and left. For good.

And as of this morning, I remember why.

*I am anti "keep the animal alive at all costs to make yourself feel better". I will however spring for some boku food if it means another year of little dude being comfortable and healthy, screaming all night and purring all day. For that, I can give up Starbucks for a while.

After all, Star needs someone to keep her warm in winter...



oh the shame

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Irony thy name is illness!!

Today, to me, irony is when the sister of your boyfriend, an epidemiologist by trade, brings her typhoid ridden child to dinner and sits it next to you. Not ironic (ironic being that which is unexpected) is when the kid coughs all over your 30 dollar plate of food*. Even LESS unexpected is the fact that I am now nursing a case of the plague.

I want to say I don't even like kids, but Barbara Kingsolver made me feel bad about saying that out loud. blah blah future of our world, blah blah blah. I hate Barbara Kingsolver. That helped a little.


*yes, I still ate it. HN convinced me nothing got on my food and the restaurant didn't have a "my boyfriend's sister's sick kid just booged on my shit" refund policy. It was good too.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Beety yummy goodness

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Every day

I have been a food preserving maniac this past 2 weeks. Upcoming trip notwithstanding, it's the final weeks of summer and that means the end is in sight. The end of my shelf thing on top of my counter to stop being covered with produce and fruit flies, mocking me.

I love summer for all the veggies and stuff. Now that I'm all weird and label read-y and also all "I can cook", I totally dig knowing where my stuff comes from and putting it up for the winter so I can open a jar of summer anytime I want. But summer produce-a-palooza also makes me crazy. 1) produce attracts flies. ick. fucking blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh on bugs. Seriously. I hate bugs. 2) I feel pressure to do something with it all so it doesn't get wasted. Only after like a month, I'm tired and about out of ideas, and yet there it all still is; watching me, mocking me lookatthebaby lookatthebaby. Or worse, going bad, which makes me the craziest of all. Because I'm crazy-prone.

Anyhow. The every day referred to above is the at least once a day, my kitchen gets douched and taken to a state of grace. Dishes dealt with, produce dealt with, everything put away where it belongs and stuff wiped down. Like a nice kitchen. Inevitably within 12 hours, it will look like a play-doh factory exploded. There will be food splattered all over my oven and counter, a sink full of dishes, water everywhere, and probably still more fucking produce, with the dirt that accompanies it as it's dumped out of it's garden bag onto my formerly clean counter top.

So, a nice thing about fall is that this will slow down. Then it will be back to once a week produce explosions, on market day.

Pictorial essay of the mess in my kitchen over the course of a week to follow.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's always when you forget that you remember how important remembering can be

  • Like bringing your camera when you go on a bike ride, because you're going somewhere specifically to look at the prettiness. Yesterday I took a sunset bike ride through Druid Lake Park and to the Rawlings Conservatory because their outdoor garden is amazing and inspiring. I went without my camera, so of course the light was just right, all the plants were blooming and I passed a solitary handsome man practicing his trumpet in the park. Because pictures of all of that would have sucked right? Said man was my favorite part, I think because I'm not sure he will be there next time while all the other stuff should be. I noticed him at first because he was looking around to make sure noone was looking, which is always a flag for me that something awesome is about to go down, so I parked my bike and took a water break to hang out and see what was doing. Imagine my surprise when he started busting out trumpet scales. That was sooooooo not what I thought he was getting out of the trunk! After a while he noticed I was there and was all "I'm struggling a little today", which I think was meant to encourage me to leave, but really only served to put me in automatic cheerleader mode. I heart underdogs and sad people; they are my kryptonite, at least the first few times. Every time he made a mistake he would look to see if I was there and I would give a big smile and wave and yell something encouraging. Eventually he stopped looking, but I kept yelling. My top 3 lines (IMHO) were:
  1. "that one wasn't even that bad, I wouldn't even have noticed if you didn't stop"
  2. "It will get easier the more you do it"
  3. "ok, ouch that one was bad. But that's why you're out here practicing right? RIGHT?!"
I like to think I'll be seeing more of him, and he'll be thanking me from stage when he gets there.

  • Also like: If you have a fibertastic menu for a full day because you feel bloated and want to get the (other) poison out, then it's a good idea to stay near the house the next morning when you have your coffee. Specifically, don't go for a walk with your old lazy farty dog who doesn't understand about emergencies and won't jog home with you (not that jogging was that great an idea anyway).
  • That's really all I have right now. I haven't yet remembered what else I forgot.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Question...

Why are shadow pictures so awesome??

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Thank you earl indeed. Balmy 76 degrees in mobtown today.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Expect prolificity

Lots of work to do today. That means blogging is more fun!

LIFESAVER. or AGGRAVATIONSAVER anyway

squee!

Oh, I feels you

Man, it's like this chick is talking to my heart!!

and i haven't even been drinking!





* She just doesn't know it yet!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Random pictures

Because it's better than working and I have nothing to say.

Except that I'm so excited for my trip to UK and Amsterdam that I pee a little every time I think about it.



First up, some shots from a lovely canoe paddle HN, his dad and I went on. In Long Island of all places. This is the upside of living with the dude who looks at maps, finds green spots and says "let's go find this". The downside is that he does shit like that year round, like December. And doesn't take "no thanks, I don't really "do" cold" for an answer.

This is Star contemplating the fact the Murman (HN's dad) has broken off of the caravan. She was whining and debating a rescue attempt. She does not recognize that she is never actually able to rescue anyone, and more often tips boats over trying to do so.



This is dog giving me her best "whatchoo talking bout Willis?" If she knew swear words, I bet it would be more colorful.

Is this not lovely? and seriously. It's in Loongeyeland.

Birds on a wire. A lot of birds. It's like the Niagara Falls of crap.

I took this picture because I thought it was the home stretch. It was not. Now I use it to bring the pain back to life...
Peter Piper didn't have shit on my pickled peppers!



'Sup lady?

From the plane on my way back from Portland. oooh, mountains!



Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Right now

HN is sitting next to me watching video after video on bow action. Like bows that you kill things with. It's a new thing he's doing, planning to kill things. I'm a little excited, because if he kills things, I will cook them which surely justifies all manner of new kitchen tools. Homemade sausage, coming right up, I just need to buy this handy dandy sausage stuffer (once I decide whether I'm "real" enough to handle natural casing). Otherwise, I'm a bit neutral on it. I don't ever want to meet my food, and I sure as shit would be a vegetarian if I had to kill meat to eat it, but I respect the hell out of the fact that he's taking this on for the house. Go hunter-gatherer, go! So long as he never brings home the face or the guts I think we're good.

The production quality on the video is actually quite good, which frightens me (though it only frightens me slightly more than the fact that he's watching them) THREE POUNDS OF TRIGGER WEIGHT!!

Between videos he's playing with his new chop saw. I don't know what's happening here, he's like turning into Rambo or something.

HN is ALL MAN!

and I am all wimp. Pictures to follow but my neck is all jacked up (again) The dude today actually took 5 minutes to listen to my story instead of the usual "here's some Flexeril go away" He asked me what was wrong and I said "I feel like my muscles are so tight they're pulling my bones out of whack" which is what I always say when this happens, because that's always what it feels like. So he did some cervical spine x-rays and guess what? The muscles in my back and shoulders are so tight they are pulling my neck bones out of whack. Specifically I have "artificial compression of cervical vertebrae due to muscle spasms" or something like that. I pretty much stopped listening after he said "you were right". OMG, it's almost like it's my body and I'm aware of what's doing with it right? I don't feel as bitter as I think I sound. I'm psyched he listened. I'm more pysched he sent me home with a bag o pills, because I think I might finally get some sleep in this joint. Thank you Dr Hero, I will do my best to dream of you in flattering circumstances.
I will try to keep this separate from the killing things/bow dreams I'm also sure to have.

so much to say, so little sense with which to say it

We went to NY for the weekend/Mon/Tues to help HN's dad around the house and stuff. I drove the last leg home, since HN had done it on the way up. We rolled in around 1am, and I kicked around the house until 4:00 IN THE MORNING because I was all hopped up on iced coffee and Skittles. Mental note: you are too old to drink coffee at 9pm. and Skittles? Just no. I can't help it though, driving is like license to chill in the food dept. Potato chips and Skittles = POWAH!

I did get a ton of stuff done though, my unpacking and crap, and cleaned the kitchen (dishwasher notwithstanding. We have GOT to remember not to go away with dirty stuff in there. Seriously.)

On a more exciting -because it doesn't take much- note, this morning while reheating some carrot/sweet potato soup I found in the freezer I discovered that that gross textural thing that happens to potato soup when you freeze it and reheat can be undone with a quick blast of the immersion blender- I'm talking velvet soup where once there was weird chunky/watery stuff (that still tasted fine so I was going to eat it no matter what because there really are very few options available to me right now).

Praise be! Go forth and re-liquefy.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Yard sale treasure hunt score!!

Friday, August 6, 2010

This week's secret ingredient

It's spinach dude. As in, I am putting so much spinach in everything that I am about to scream maniacally like they do on PeeWee's playhouse when someone says the secret word. But overall it's a bit more nutritious.

When I came home last weekend after forever away, there was nothing to eat in the house that wasn't in a can or made of cheese. Bachelor Bob HN had been living almost exclusively off of corn, tomatoes and cheese. For reals, our cheese drawer is crazy right now. I think he bought a new one for every day I was gone.

Anyway, first order of business Sunday morning I went to Whole Foods and had a breakdown in the produce aisle and bought like a metric ton of spinach. Don't ask why. I don't know why, I barely remember doing it. And now, because I'm back on my "food waste = death" movement, I am determined to eat it all. The thing is, I really don't like spinach cooked all that much. Again, I don't even know why I needed a ton of it. I love it raw, in salad or whatever but there's really only so much of that one can do right? Normally I would agree, but I'm just going to have to see what I'm really capable of... This is going to make me a better person right?

Yesterday I made a reasonably bomb ass tuna salad (added onions from our garden, local beets grated up, chopped up one of my way too salty to live birthday pickles from last year, and a grated carrot. A little mayo, some balsamic and Bobsyeruncle) and ate it on top of a mile high pile of spinach. It barely dented what I bought. The day before, I had shoved as much spinach as I could into a veggie sandwich with swiss. Delightful, but it wasn't enough. You wouldn't even have noticed I was in there.

Today, the spinach is looking like it will soon be sad, so I estimate I have until tomorrow to eat it all. It's a tall order, and it means spinach is now on 3 meals a day detail but I'm feeling strong. (Probably because I've eaten so much fucking spinach that I'm all Popeye-ing)

This morning I wilted a pile and hid it on top of a seriously buttered slice of toast, sprinkled some cayenne in there and then topped with a scrambled egg and more swiss cheese. If I can keep this up I think I can make it.

Last night I ate a pile of spinach in between rounds of canning, freezing and food processing. I really needed that though, because it was hot like AFRICA and I spent 4 hours standing over vats of boiling water.

I did the tomatoes, ALL the tomatoes in sight; We have tomatoes coming out our ass- I've canned them, dried them, frozen them, eaten them raw by the bucket loads just to get rid of them and given so many away that people now avert their eyes when I say Hi just in case it's a prelude to foisting more off on them. There's a new shit ton of those fuckers in the yard waiting to be picked.

I pickled 4 pints of Jalapenos. Taco night is about to get real everyone! Well, in 6 weeks.

I blended and froze half a watermelon for smoothies. Mental note: 2 people do not need a 20 lb watermelon, no matter how thirsty you are when you see it.

I made (more) blackberry jam, froze some blackberries and made sauce when I ran out of pectin.

I picked cleaned and dehydrated another bushel of cayennes. Ground cayenne for all my friends!

Waste = death! Spinach = life. or at least my life. until the zucchini come in, and then I fear things will change.



Thursday, August 5, 2010

Stakeout, pt 2. The lameness

So dude never came back around for his bits yesterday. However, last night while all the neighbors were gathered around out front watching the 4 car 8 patrolman's worth of police mayhem (crazy neighbor off her meds, whoooooooole other story) we talked to a few of our neighbors who gave us a name (George) and assured us he would be back. They figured he got what he needed to get his fix for the day and he'll be back looking for more stuff to sell when he's out.

I've left him a nice little note, using his name, which if he's any sort of a crackhead should have him shitting his dirty little pants and hopefully bringing back HN's pump (if it hasn't been sold)
Contents:

George,
The things on this porch are ours.
Taking them is stealing.
Bring back the bike pump or we will report you. Everyone around here knows you and knows where you live.

When we don't want something we will put it on the curb.

Stay off the porch.


I'm working in the living room today anyway "just in case"

Camera at the ready, big stick near the door. I feel like I'm about to be a character in Thursday, the less glamorous and more boring prequel to Friday.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

STAKEOUT - live blogging...

That's pretty much me right now. Also, this is also accurate:


One of our neighbors just informed us that some crazy people came and carted off a bunch of stuff we had on the front porch. HN is NOT HAVING this (even though most of it was in fact garbage) and so he's nonchalantly sitting on another neighbor's porch waiting for them to come back, and he has a giant beat your ass stick with him just in case. I'm "working" but also hidden right inside of our door so that when they show up I can take some pictures of them to help return them to the straight and narrow should they kick up a fuss.

This is going to be awesome.

1;17PM UPdate: HN has now switched porches. Not sure if he was feeling conspicuous or what but he's moved a house down. He's also now doing his dailies (pushups, situps, etc) It's all very prison yard "give me back my shit or else" We've also gotten word from another neighbor that it's an older junky couple. HN thinks this means he won't need the stick, I think it means they'll remember that much better.

2:20PM Ok the excitement has worn off. I am sure they will be back, but I'd be willing to bet in the meantime that they have either forgotten where we are, or sold the bike pump and gotten what they wanted and are now nodding off on some other lucky soul's porch. HN is ever vigilant though.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Tell me how you really feel...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Jack Johnson show last night. Good times.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Update in pictures

Sensing a theme here?

This is what I do when I should be working. Today I should be working working and packing if not that.

So anyway, you've seen the domestic bliss that was created when JG stormed the castle. In the aftermath, a Williams-Sonoma housewarming package showed up, and inside was this completely gratuitous yet necessary Tarte Tatin pan. I didn't have any apples, but what I did have was 4 lbs of Raspberries because HN's sister and I snuck out of work early and went berry picking.

I decided in the name of science that raspberry buttermilk upside down cake was in order.

I was so right.

Here are the berries simmering on the stove in the top of the pan.


This is a fancy clay pan and goes right on the flame.


Then once berries are done, pour cake batter on top and pop the whole thing into the oven. This is a big part of the appeal.


Flip, take a piece as big as my head, et voila!

Black raspberries might not photograph well but they ROCK MY WORLD.



THEN, JH#1 rolled on up and as we were trolling antique and junk stores on the avenue I tripped over this little beauty. It's a batik stamp, and I had JUST given up the dream when I found a small stash of them in Charlotte Elliot. I should have known.


Being a creature of impulse, and also having moral support to try something new in town I grabbed some rags, a couple of easy dye packets and got to it. Having JH#1 manning the google to counter any problems and egg me on was clutch.


Boiling out the wax kind of sucked it, but I used my giant canning pan, which doesnt have to be soo clean. HN's dad has a HUGE one at home that I have my eye on. His mom used to dye stuff and this is leftover of her supplies.


It came out nice, I wish I had done it on something other than a rag now. Oh well, I will. I have a big idea for this, but it will have to wait for my trip to pass.



My porch has been invaded by praying manti. I believe HN may have done this deliberately, but it's ok as you can see they are making themselves useful.


THEN JH#1 and I (and this is why she's #1) channeled my anxiety, pulled the cord and made a decision. We got some take out pottery from the paint your own place and I supervised while she did the dirty work.

They match one of my Chile mugs, and they please me immensely. I hope to be able to post a link to Lise soon. She made the original mug, and my birds are blatant ripoffs and copies of hers.


Giant sunflowers! Blooming! and facing east, which is the opposite way of the house. Doh! I had heard they faced east but the leaves follow the sun and I figured the flower would too. Nope. The flower sets up and stays facing east. It's pretty neat to see, if not a bit of a bummer since I only see sunflower ass from my house. now we know!


And tomatoes bloom. and bloom. and bloom some more. All sizes, all shapes, all AWESOME.



So that's what's new in my neck of the woods. I'll be wordier later, but I'm meant to pack for Portland etc today. Gah.