Monday, January 26, 2009

What's different about you?

So, I'll start with me.

Firstly, I'm potentially living out of a box truck as of this weekend, just as soon as I'm done living out of a box truck for the week.

Farm negotiations appear to be going downhill rapidly. Late last week, HN and I received a nastygram from Former Friend the Farm Owner (FFFO). Said nastygram said things like "Are you even moving in? I don't even know if you're moving in Feb 1, but I guess you think you are because I just heard people are helping you move in" HN and I were both a bit caught off guard by this, as not only had we been to the farm on several occasions to help with home improvements and painting, but we have begun moving things into the basement, which both FFFO and her partner knew about. Also puzzling was the fact that they had never called to express confusion, or ask if we were moving in, nor did FFFO say anything to HN when she saw him at work ALL THE TIME. Admittedly, this has been a casual business. We all had one conversation about the move in date, and HN and myself considered the matter done and dusted, which apparently FFFO and co. did not. So we owned up to our 50% of the blame, not following up with her to formalize anything in writing and then waited for her to be gracious and take her 50%, because they never called, wrote or asked in person what was going on. There was not satisfaction to be had here however, as FFFO considers the matter entirely our fault, and herself above blame. So that was our jumping off point for getting the lease together. We got our burly ass lease Friday, and made arrangements to discuss in person on Sat.

In particular, HN and I were troubled by the fact that the lease only went until July. A period of 5 mos. Hmm said we. So Sat came, and we went, to discuss with FFFO and her partner that we were confused by this as well. Turns out, there had been another misunderstanding between her and HN. Once we cleared that up and indicated we had hoped to live there for a few years, not a few months, FFFO revealed what I believe is the real issue underneath all of the bullshit. The she has something cooking, that should come to fruition in July and she would get more money out of the house that way, so she isn't going to cut us any longer of a lease, although if that fell through we would be welcome to stay. She used to be a lawyer, and when discussing everything we weren't talking to our friend we were talking to the lawyer. A little frustrating to have everything you say returned with "well, it's not personal. This is business" and also "The whole misunderstanding is your fault. There's nothing for me to do about it" I would have had an easier time swallowing this line, if it had not been preceded by the whole "we were confused about whether you were moving in or not" sack of shit. I can't buy that AT ALL and so it makes everything that comes after suspect. Unfortunate.

So anyhow, after lease negotiations went downhill, there were in the end some changes she was willing to make and so nothing was signed. Each half went back to their respective corners to wait until she made the changes, etc. In discussing things later in the day, HN and decided that 5 mos just doesn't work in any way shape or form for us. We have summer plans, and moving again is not one of them. I think best case scenario, she agrees to extend the lease after the term is up, but will raise the rent. Not that it isn't worth more than we would pay, but in the beginning she said "it's worth more than we would ask you to pay, but we're cutting you a deal because we want you guys involved in this" In the face of the actual bottom line, the second half of that statement no longer appears true to them. That irks me. So now I'm not worth it? Fuck you. I'm also a little turned off of FFFO as a person, certainly as a landlord and I don't know that we want the involvement with them that this would bring. And they used to seem so appealing...

So HN and I are now on a whirlwind tour of other comparable, available properties in the area that don't come with FFFO and co breathing down our neck. We're looking at a couple today, and then HN will continue the hunt while I leave town for a few days. Then bless his heart, he's going to handle the moving out of both of our places and into whatever new place he/we manage to find in the interim.

The main thing for me is not necessarily the facts of the whole issue, but the attitude. There is no compromise with this woman, she either willfully or actually misconstrues any situation to a slant where she is the one suffering fools who are wronging or trying to wrong her and I just don't have confidence that ANY issue that would arise would or could be worked our productively. If you can't talk to someone where is there to go from there? So if one of these properties better suits our price point and needs, we'll take that and regrettably walk away from this farm deal. I'm a little bummed about it, but more about the community we thought we were getting into than the actuals of the farm itself. Any of the new places we're looking at will allow for chickens, garden, privacy, space and nature. Nothing lost there. And as for the community, well apparently that doesn't exist anyway so what we would have to lose is already lost. I do feel for HN as he works with her, and genuinely thought they were friends before all of this. He is worried about their relationship deteriorating, since she holds grudges. I told him to explain to her that this isn't personal, it's business. (I was well pleased with myself for that one. HN, not so amused)

She set the fucking precedent, we're just going with the flow.


Secondly, ROAD TRIP. Look for my photos from the open road. I'm going to get my kicks on 66, and will be stopping at a grocery store in NM to stock up on all the green chiles I can carry. My addiction was never gone, just dormant and now's my chance.

Thirdly, HOLY PACKING BATMAN. With the acceleration of my departure date, I had to do some pushing and shoving this weekend to get my things ready to go. Remember all that purging I did way back when ? How I was so proud of myself for being ahead of the game? (And I so was) Turns out, that was necessary I just didn't know it at the time. Thankfully, I knew it even though I didn't know it. So packing at the end is a little hurried and very messy, but at least I am confident that everything I am packing is something I want and that goes a long way.


So now you're caught up, sorry this is all wordy and gross. Here are some pictures to make you forget it all...


The rolling pastures. This would have been the view from our house.

The hizz-ouse

Star, adapting to country life. Black tail is Bo, they were going to be best friends.


The great room. It used to be the 2 mediocre rooms, but we took that wall down and all was well.
Also, Exhibit A in the case of KS and HN call Bullshit on FFFO's feigned confusion.


Creepy barn. Being alone on 35 acres on a rainy day is a different feeling.

This is couch angel. Sweet packing job dude. For reals.

When the water main broke, eventually so did the street.
The mouse eye view. HN blocked traffic so I could lie in the street for this.

Houseguest! She digs the changes I've been making with the place. She fled when I threw some Panko to her, I think she's common and unused to fancy food. She'll be back!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Know how I know you're old? You love cookware!

Lots of excitement here at Chez Flux.

8 days until the big move, crops and chickens are being decided upon as you read this. Not a lot of progress in the packing dept. HN's dad is in town this weekend, and I have high hopes this will motivate the packing. Purging continues though, and let me introduce you to the brief version of the saga of the couch, presented as a stepwise series of decisions and situations:

-pitch fit. Decide it does not "feel like I'm moving". Decide only solution is to be rid of everything I'm not taking with me.
-This means couch.
-Post ad on Craigslist, offering couch for free.
-Harbor hideously optimistic thoughts like "This should be easy"
-knock on wood (I forgot this step)
-Entertain mails from couch suitor #1. Enter into witty banter, set up time for him to come get couch.
-Wait, as that time comes and goes...
-Next day: receive apologetic email from CS#1. Grant request that he be forgiven and allowed to come get couch today.
-Wait, as that time comes and goes...
-Mail from CS#1. Universe has recommended he not take couch. Please give couch to someone else.
-Le Sigh.
-Call Salvation Army to schedule pickup, move couch onto front porch in anticipation of said pickup.
-Next day ensues awkward phone call with Salvation Army as they explain that my couch is beneath them and they are not taking it. How depressing! (I told them that it all made me feel very bad about myself)
-Couch Angel knocks at door late night, asking if he can have couch. Mild discomfort at my enthusiasm over his taking couch, but he agrees to take couch and leaves with half the cushions on foot.
-Couch Angel returns at agreed upon time to take couch, and a bunch of other crap I had that I didn't want. Yay!
-Couch Angel also shares personality trait of thinking just about anything can be tied to the roof with those things you buy at the grocery store. I hear you man! I believe!
-Success! Gone = couch, cart, old film camera back that I didn't want but felt bad getting rid of so I've been lugging it around forever. He had THE SAME MODEL and it broke and he couldnt find another one. Clearly the universe was right. This was where the couch need be going.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

come on now people

so, completely bypassing my bloggy negligence thus far in 2009, I'm going to jump right back in.

The farm goes. I have pictures somewhere, but since I never took before pics you won't get it. I will eventually post them.

In other news, water main break. Going on for 24 hours now, still no crew to shut off the water. The street is degrading and spouting water from 4 holes now, it's pretty rad. The water dept said that it's happening all over the city and when they have time, they'll get to it. B-less baby, b-less. However, St Obama stopped in town today so perhaps his aura will cause the main to magically repair. fingers crossed!


And I continue to purge (and acquire- we bought a grown up couch!). Today, in the spirit of helping my fellow man, I turned again to Craigslist. I'm selling a couple of things, offering lots for free and having a field day with the responses I'm getting.

por exemplo:

1) i would like to pick up the thing 2morrow hector whats your number and address

A) well, hector. You couldn't possibly know this about me, but I judge people. When they do things like send stupid messages without any sort of greeting, and using made up lazy words like "2morrow", I delete their mails. My number and are address irrelevant, because you are DENIED!


2)Hey, Where in Hampden is this?

A)Why, are there places your mother won't drive you? Seriously dude, Hampden is like 5 square blocks. If location is that big an issue, you will never make it down the icy gauntlet that is my street right now. Maybe she'll take you to Toys R Us or somewhere safe, clearly you're not ready for the big time just yet.


3) Is it available ?

A)Maybe. Because you see jackass, that depends on exactly what you're referencing. Since I have a million ads going, and your ass was too lazy to put a subject, or to include anything helpful in your message like "I am writing about the XXXXX", I guess we'll never know. Also, due to lack of greeting or pleasantry making you have irked me and so in the end it's status becomes irrelevant to you as well. I always have goodwill as a backup, and I'm going there anyway. Do not be bossy and monosyllabic with me. Chump.

4)MY NAME IS JOHN AND I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO GET THAT BAR IF YOU STILL HAVE IT CALL OR EMAIL ME FROM 8 AM TO 11 PM

A) WELL HI JOHN. I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS BUT I WISH YOU KNEW HOW ANNOYING TYPING IN ALL CAPS WAS. SECONDLY, HOW ABOUT A HELLO, A PLEASE OR A THANK YOU? AND LASTLY DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Douche.


5) I live in Hampden too.
Reply to this message and I wicould get it asap. Will give yo six
pack
of Bud for it

Chuck

a) sigh. Chuck, I want to like you. You're offering me beer for crying out loud, when I was well and truly prepared to give this thing away for free. I just can't get over the fact that "yo" are trying to bribe me with fucking Bud! Dude, this is Natty Boh country, and Natty Boh is like half the price of Bud. If I wanted to drink piss from St Louis, I would have gone downtown when the Rams came to town. And furthermore, I don't care where you live. Did I ask? Did I mention delivery? No Chuck, I didn't do either of those things, and there was a reason. I'm going to have to ask you to fuck off.


6)Do you still have

A) Do I still have.....? Red hair? yes. Dog? Yes. cat? Yes. The patience to try to turn sentence fragments into complete thoughts and figure out what the hell you're talking about? Nope, sorry. That was gone about 12 responses ago.


7) Hi! I would really like this! -insert life story here-

A)Honestly, I would really like a million dollars. That doesn't mean if someone tried to give it to me I'd regale them with tales of what I planned to do with it. Short and sweet honey. I'm not in this for the human interest angle, I'm merely trying to clean out my basement before I move. And also, lay off the exclamation points! k?!


By far the most interesting one though is the girl who responds to like 75% of my postings. She can't know it's me, and it's positively unnatural that our tastes are so similar that she wants everything I own. I'd offer to be BFF with you if you hadn't tried to hit me up for money when you picked up the one thing I did end up giving you. No I won't come out in the hole for giving away a free item, but I admire your stones for asking.

Pictures tomorrow. There are things you need to see.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

What's the word of the day?

P U R G E

I'm knee deep (literally in some spots) in getting ready to move. HN's surgery passed without incident, and I have finally accepted we are moving. The first step is purging, which feels so good. Then some packing, and now onto step 3, which is VICIOUS PURGING.

My favorite! I feel 1000lbs lighter, in many regards.