Happy last day of 2007 everyone! T minus 17 hours and counting. I don't know about you, but tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999 (minus the clubs, drugs, and glitter)
I'm back in Baltimore, and oddly relieved to be here. Kitty is bugging the dog, the dog is bugging me, and I'm "working" (no seriously I actually am!) with my feet firmly ensconced in higher than knee high wool socks and kicked up on the couch while listening to pirated podcasts (thanks ich!) and it's pretty nice to be home.
Last time I talked I was kind of blah. Nothing a couple of seriously long walks and QT with buds can't fix. Friday I lunched with grandmother, dinnered with Holly and her "I ate a baby" pod, then Star and I just kicked it on the quite possibly most comfortable free couch I've ever met with a good mystery book. Somewhere in there somewhere my attitude began to lighten. aaah.
Sat involved sleeping in until 9, then heading out for some free breakfast and time with Dad who was a man on a mission with the xmas present, and I ended up with a pretty sweet porcelainized cast iron pot. I was dragged from store to store looking for the right kind of pan, but I cannot complain. It is in fact just the right pan, and thus was worth the trip. It was also funny to watch my dad be like that, because it explains so much about my own self, which is always funny for me. Anyway the pan is blue and I kind of love it. I'll cook something delicious today and take a photo of it in use, you need to see this. Plus I feel like I'm on the verge of something great with soup ideas.
The rest of Sat was spent walking, eating *delicious* steak (MOO!!) and hanging out with JG, followed by another long walk. A phone call from HN from parts abroad, and Bob's your uncle. After all of that I was pretty much right again, and I woke up Sunday morning with a whole new outlook on life, ready to hit the road and get my sh*t cracking.
The drive back was *much* less stressful than the ride up was, and as a result I got home at a decent hour, with just enough time to do the urgent chores (catbox, fish funeral, trash), put in a nice pan full of roasted veggies for dinner (lessons learned: turnips OK, mushrooms not a good addition), take a long hot shower, unpack and hit the hay with a book stolen from Dad.
All in all a good night. I have a few things to wrap up to cap off '07 but I'm feeling good that I can get rid of most of the list today. I aim to have a productive workday, a good run, a delicious disco nap, then an utterly carefree evening followed by a restful and quiet tomorrow. There will be pictures.
Productivity and peace to all. Ok, to most. :o)
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sugoi means superior in Japanese...
This is all mine now...So, if we've spoken at all lately, you've probably heard my whinge about how my heart just wasn't in christmas this year. I did some of the requisite shopping, but overall I just wasn't feeling it too much, and as a result I didn't get as much out of getting things for people so I didn't do it as much or as well. The only thing that really motivated me to go shopping at all was the obnoxious amount of stuff I ended up buying for myself each time I went. yeah, I spoiled me good this year but even that was pretty lackluster.
I don't really know what it was, it just seems like so many bigger things happened this year -births, deaths, weddings, whatever- that christmas was kind of a non-event in comparison. Anyway, it was all very french black and white film non-committal "eh" for me.
I seem to be recovering though, as evidenced by the fact that I went retail shopping the 26th (which was really only because I woke up at 5 am and couldnt get back to sleep and had nothing else to do, but I did it!). I got a couple of things for people for "non christmas" presents, and I started to warm up a little. Then I hit the yarn store and got way warm. As in, I went on a binge of epic proportions in my history. I don't even know where it came from, I was just in the yarn store minding my own business, looking for 3 skeins of yarn, maybe 5 because I'm going to make this camisole tank top thing, whatever and I found my 3. and my 5. and 4, and 2. yes, I bought 14 skeins of yarn. All different kinds of yarn, mostly very soft and fluffy, and while I rationalized that it was on sale, and mostly paid for with gift certificates, and 6 of the skeins are practically able to take away from the total because they are supposedly going to be gifts for people (and if it's for other people it doesn't count right?), today I found myself looking at 4 of them like they might be the nicest shawl I've ever met.
The irony here is that just before I left for Boston, I cleaned out a bunch of crappy yarn someone bought me and I was so proud of myself for refusing to gather a stash, which is something I can totally see myself having a problem with some day.
But anyhow, I sort of digress. I've also been doing a bit of the sewing thing lately, so I popped into Fabric Place today, because I was looking for something cute I could make into an apron. I CAME OUT WITH MORE YARN. Le Sigh.
So I admit I have a problem, both with my attitude and the yarn, but I don't know what either of them is from. maybe it's the winter slowly killing my soul ?
Here are some pics to make you forget my troublesome attitude.
This is Neko. She is also not very impressed by Christmas, unlike her fool sister.
I was happily working on this, from old yarn I have kicking around and being proud of me for using old stuff. Kind of like when you eat leftover's and you're all "look at me, not wasting food" Pride cometh before the fall alright. The white yarn is like if the abominable snowman used really good shampoo and conditioner and would let you hug him. It would feel just like that.
Office cat Martin. Shown on a computer tower box for scale. He's f*cking massive and very grouchy. I pretty much let him sit whereever he wants, because I am afraid of him.
new shirt! SO WARM. Must never take it off!(and bought on sale with a gift card = FREE!)
But I feel slightly like a contestant on the Running Man game show:)
Dog making comforter vortex in order to ensure all areas of the butt are sealed up and draft free.Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I honestly never thought I'd say this...
But I think I love Brussel Sprouts. I've tried them several times, because I know alot of people who like them and I have never enjoyed them. Last week I went to a dinner where they were serving oven roasted BS with toasted pine nuts and I liked those ok. I was shopping the other night and happened upon a container so I bought it just to see what I could do, because I know they're ridiculously good for you. I just tossed them with onion in olive oil and roasted at 400 for 40 minutes. HOLY SHIT. delicious!
I am the BS master!!
I am the BS master!!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
No seriously, there *is* news
I'm just too lazy/tired to blog it all. I've finished a crapload (scientific term) of projects, I almost know how to sew now, except apparently I don't because I talked to someone who does know how to sew and she was all "do you do this? do you know this?" etc etc. so there's still a bit for me to learn, but I am becoming convinced I can do this, if I only practice, which I hate to do. Should be a trip.
The boy is packed up and headed off to parts in warmer hemispheres, xmas is almost upon me and the next week should hold lots of alone time in environments conducive to spending a lot of time on the computer. Hopefully I will get around to catching you up on the domestic goddess that is myself and what I can do with the proper tools; sewing machine, knitting needles and elbow grease.
For now I shall have to content myself with preparing for travel. I just returned from NC and am trying to get my crap together to head to Boston. There are record amounts of laundry to be done unless I want to drag dirty laundry north with me (I've done it before, I'll probably do it again but I don't think I want to do it this week) and there are animals that need to be dealt with, and I spent a lot of time I didn't really have napping then taking myself out for a nice xmas dinner tonight (I am so worth it). Why is it that people feel compelled to try to converse with someone out dining alone? If I wanted to talk to anybody, I probably would have brought a companion, no?
The boy is packed up and headed off to parts in warmer hemispheres, xmas is almost upon me and the next week should hold lots of alone time in environments conducive to spending a lot of time on the computer. Hopefully I will get around to catching you up on the domestic goddess that is myself and what I can do with the proper tools; sewing machine, knitting needles and elbow grease.
For now I shall have to content myself with preparing for travel. I just returned from NC and am trying to get my crap together to head to Boston. There are record amounts of laundry to be done unless I want to drag dirty laundry north with me (I've done it before, I'll probably do it again but I don't think I want to do it this week) and there are animals that need to be dealt with, and I spent a lot of time I didn't really have napping then taking myself out for a nice xmas dinner tonight (I am so worth it). Why is it that people feel compelled to try to converse with someone out dining alone? If I wanted to talk to anybody, I probably would have brought a companion, no?
Friday, December 14, 2007
Let sleeping (lumpy, puking) dogs lie
Even when you want to push and shove them to wake them up just because it's not fair that after keeping you up all night puking and gagging and having weird breathing episodes due to some SERIOUS allergic reaction they have going on, suddenly when you have to get up and get some work done they are able to sleep quietly.
I am trying to be a big person right now but it's very hard. I literally slept for no more than 15 minutes at a go last night, because whatever the dog is allergic to affected her throat and the only way she could breathe well and/or quietly was if her neck is extended fully and level with her head and shoulders (i.e., no hanging head, no resting it on the edge of the bed) It had to be EXACTLY in line or these wretched gaggy/snoring noises come out of her. Naturally this is not a position she intuitively sleeps in. Nor, as it turns out is it one she is particularly willing to sleep in, so we basically wrestled all night long while I tried to explain to her who does not understand english or common sense that I was doing this for her own good. Interspersed of course with wrestling Benadryl down her throat.
And now she seems to be on board with the plan and has curled up in her bed to sleep off the latest dose and is suddenly instinctively sleeping perfectly still and flat.
bitch.
I am trying to be a big person right now but it's very hard. I literally slept for no more than 15 minutes at a go last night, because whatever the dog is allergic to affected her throat and the only way she could breathe well and/or quietly was if her neck is extended fully and level with her head and shoulders (i.e., no hanging head, no resting it on the edge of the bed) It had to be EXACTLY in line or these wretched gaggy/snoring noises come out of her. Naturally this is not a position she intuitively sleeps in. Nor, as it turns out is it one she is particularly willing to sleep in, so we basically wrestled all night long while I tried to explain to her who does not understand english or common sense that I was doing this for her own good. Interspersed of course with wrestling Benadryl down her throat.
And now she seems to be on board with the plan and has curled up in her bed to sleep off the latest dose and is suddenly instinctively sleeping perfectly still and flat.
bitch.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Hmmm....
Me = sick. Not feeling too bad today finally, but worn out and tired. Miscellaneous bugs seem to be just another one of the joys of spending my days working in the hospital. I'm borderline a Purell addict.
Dog = sick. Feeling poorly. Not only is she throwing up (bile, yum) she's refusing food. I think that might be a first, or second at most. We're on 24 hour watch now, then to the vet with us.
I do have tons of pictures of finished stuff and stuff in the works to post but I'm too blah to bother. Apparently my only reason for posting was to whinge.
mission accomplished.
Dog = sick. Feeling poorly. Not only is she throwing up (bile, yum) she's refusing food. I think that might be a first, or second at most. We're on 24 hour watch now, then to the vet with us.
I do have tons of pictures of finished stuff and stuff in the works to post but I'm too blah to bother. Apparently my only reason for posting was to whinge.
mission accomplished.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
good morning!
It's Thursday, my favorite day!!!!
It's beautiful out, (which won't last long once people start driving around in the snow) and I am -temporarily at least- in an excellent mood.
Yesterday was a fairly productive day in terms of work and crafty goodness. Star and I took some practice shots for our Christmas card, I will post some of the outtakes later. Prepare to be wowed, all I'm saying (not by the outtakes, by the real thing)
All the time I have been spending at NSI lately really makes me appreciate the days when I can stay at home and work. I got a shitload of stuff done, worked on my quilt for a little over an hour, got some knitting done (I might actually finish my current project in time to wear it for the winter!) and finished putting up my xmas decorations. Expect pics of all this goodness soon, I am just too lazy right now.
In the meantime, entertain yourself with this little number:
The Holiday Party Excuse Generator. Keep your eye on the snowman when you choose an answer.
It's beautiful out, (which won't last long once people start driving around in the snow) and I am -temporarily at least- in an excellent mood.
Yesterday was a fairly productive day in terms of work and crafty goodness. Star and I took some practice shots for our Christmas card, I will post some of the outtakes later. Prepare to be wowed, all I'm saying (not by the outtakes, by the real thing)
All the time I have been spending at NSI lately really makes me appreciate the days when I can stay at home and work. I got a shitload of stuff done, worked on my quilt for a little over an hour, got some knitting done (I might actually finish my current project in time to wear it for the winter!) and finished putting up my xmas decorations. Expect pics of all this goodness soon, I am just too lazy right now.
In the meantime, entertain yourself with this little number:
The Holiday Party Excuse Generator. Keep your eye on the snowman when you choose an answer.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I feel so loved!
Today I was in the middle of doing a whole lot of nothing when I realized I had not paid rent yet this month. DOH!
Even though it's the great blizzard of '08 in Baltimore with a panic-inducing *2 INCHES* of snow expected to accumulate on the ground, I immediately threw on my jacket and high tailed it up the street to make things right. My landlord rocks, and I always feel bad when I'm late with rent, especially since there is no good reason for me to be. L-A-Z-Y. The last time I was late I was *really* late and he kind of bitched me out, then he immediately took me next door to buy me homemade cookies at Rose's Cookies. Totally forgiven man, totally because I am easy like that (and also in other ways HA!).
Anyhoo, I went bombing into his shop waving the check and yelling (per usual) and the counter lady said "Kerry?" then started reaching under the counter. I hate being recognized, I have an issue where I always think I'm in trouble. probably because I was a bad child, but I digress. I asked if she was evicting me, and she just looked at me weird and handed me a present. My first xmas present! Yay! and totally unexpected too!
me and present are dancing in the streets
And here's the note on the present. I'm glad he doesn't want me to move.
Now that is a thoughtful note.
So I am now the proud owner of the Kidde Nighthawk CO and Explosive Gas monitor. I feel safer already! Not that I need it, because as someone pointed out, I am not using heat yet (and its snowing. I AM WINNING. Still don't know what I'm winning yet though)
Mine all mine. Even if I move!
Even though it's the great blizzard of '08 in Baltimore with a panic-inducing *2 INCHES* of snow expected to accumulate on the ground, I immediately threw on my jacket and high tailed it up the street to make things right. My landlord rocks, and I always feel bad when I'm late with rent, especially since there is no good reason for me to be. L-A-Z-Y. The last time I was late I was *really* late and he kind of bitched me out, then he immediately took me next door to buy me homemade cookies at Rose's Cookies. Totally forgiven man, totally because I am easy like that (and also in other ways HA!).
Anyhoo, I went bombing into his shop waving the check and yelling (per usual) and the counter lady said "Kerry?" then started reaching under the counter. I hate being recognized, I have an issue where I always think I'm in trouble. probably because I was a bad child, but I digress. I asked if she was evicting me, and she just looked at me weird and handed me a present. My first xmas present! Yay! and totally unexpected too!
me and present are dancing in the streetsAnd here's the note on the present. I'm glad he doesn't want me to move.
Now that is a thoughtful note.So I am now the proud owner of the Kidde Nighthawk CO and Explosive Gas monitor. I feel safer already! Not that I need it, because as someone pointed out, I am not using heat yet (and its snowing. I AM WINNING. Still don't know what I'm winning yet though)
Mine all mine. Even if I move!Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Update
Day 600 of the cold: 50 degrees in the house, still no heat on. Why do I do this? I still don't know, but I'm winning. What competition I have no idea. The rules are no heat and no jacket. Everything in between is fair game, so I'll probably light a fire in a trash barrel tonight or something.
I admit I have a problem, isn't that the first step?
I shrink wrapped the windows last night, and today I hang my giant *handmade* "if it worked for castles in the medieval times it will work for me" tapestry that goes down over the door and windows on the north side of the house at night when it's windy. I might even address the whole doorknob conflict issue and try to shore up the front of the house completely. Maybe not though.
I admit I have a problem, isn't that the first step?
I shrink wrapped the windows last night, and today I hang my giant *handmade* "if it worked for castles in the medieval times it will work for me" tapestry that goes down over the door and windows on the north side of the house at night when it's windy. I might even address the whole doorknob conflict issue and try to shore up the front of the house completely. Maybe not though.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday, monday
Let me start this show by saying BRRRR! For no particular reason, this year I've decided to see how long I can go without turning on the heat. Seriously, there is no reason I just apparently have issues. Anyhow, it's 48 degrees in the house right now and I'm wearing a hat, boots, a scarf and 2 bathrobes, under my blanket under my computer (blessed be the Windows spaceheater!). I think I can go another month or so, this is totally livable, I'm not even wearing a coat yet. My fish are in semi-hibernation mode and I think it's because the water's cold. People keep asking why I'm doing this: I have no answer dammit!
So I'm finally back home after an adventure filled couple of days. This weekend was that traditional time of gifts, love, and gluttony known as Slob Thanksgivmas. I spent Friday night preparing the T-Shirts (I had to pause from making my GIANT HANDMADE QUILT to make some T-shirts. Because I am the golden craft god SUCKITJH) The T-shirts came out smashing, will post piccies soon. I might be onto something with this T-shirt business. I bought extra transfers and am already looking around to see what else I can make.
Saturday began mostly innocuously, my flight out was at 830, so I got to the airport around 7:30, brezzed my carry on having, pre-checked in self right through securi-tay and went to hang out by the gate. Then I was struck by how many people were milling around and I thought "uh oh" Checking around for a status monitor, I was struck by the fact that the money AirTran saves for you seems to cost you in terms of information and helpful people. Sigh. After asking 3 people, I was finally able to find someone who knew *some* stuff about my flight. More specifically I was told "you're being delayed I don't know how long I don't have time for this right now" Fine (bitch), I'll be at the bar. And don't leave without me!
For those of you with issues regarding day drinking, let me explain: There is no "morning" on vacation. And I was on vacation. The *second* my foot hits international air terminal soil, all things "acceptable" and "normal" cease to bind me. Things like "breakfast cocktails" and "wet breakfast" become totally ok. DON"T JUDGE ME!!!
so where was I? Oh yes, at the bar, having breakfast:
Mmm. Fruit juice, with vegetables and stuff. mmm.
So I'm finally back home after an adventure filled couple of days. This weekend was that traditional time of gifts, love, and gluttony known as Slob Thanksgivmas. I spent Friday night preparing the T-Shirts (I had to pause from making my GIANT HANDMADE QUILT to make some T-shirts. Because I am the golden craft god SUCKITJH) The T-shirts came out smashing, will post piccies soon. I might be onto something with this T-shirt business. I bought extra transfers and am already looking around to see what else I can make.
Saturday began mostly innocuously, my flight out was at 830, so I got to the airport around 7:30, brezzed my carry on having, pre-checked in self right through securi-tay and went to hang out by the gate. Then I was struck by how many people were milling around and I thought "uh oh" Checking around for a status monitor, I was struck by the fact that the money AirTran saves for you seems to cost you in terms of information and helpful people. Sigh. After asking 3 people, I was finally able to find someone who knew *some* stuff about my flight. More specifically I was told "you're being delayed I don't know how long I don't have time for this right now" Fine (bitch), I'll be at the bar. And don't leave without me!
For those of you with issues regarding day drinking, let me explain: There is no "morning" on vacation. And I was on vacation. The *second* my foot hits international air terminal soil, all things "acceptable" and "normal" cease to bind me. Things like "breakfast cocktails" and "wet breakfast" become totally ok. DON"T JUDGE ME!!!
so where was I? Oh yes, at the bar, having breakfast:
Mmm. Fruit juice, with vegetables and stuff. mmm.So, after a round of fruit juicy delicious spice drink and witnessing some fantastic harassment of one bar employee by the other 5, I wandered back to the terminal to get an update on my travel plans. In the end the delay would total an hour and I still had time to kill. A little airport shopping (a serious hobby of mine) and some knitting (BECAUSE I AM A GOLDEN CRAFT GOD!) later and it was time to board. Flight =1hr, some bumps, nothing memorable. Except getting my whole own row and being able to put my feet up and enjoy myself a little. Woohoo!
Slob thanksgiving ensued and that has to be it's own post once I get some pictures. There's just too much to tell. The short version is I got the dinner I deserved on Thanksgiving and I might be over the whole goose thing. I ate until I was paralyzed, and I would do it all over again.
Sunday was a treat because I LOVE SLUMBER PARTIES and especially the morning after slumber parties. We hung out, had coffee, cinnamon rolls, more girl chatter before most people wrapped up and shoved out. Jenn and I are not most people, and we made ourselves quite at home on Holly's couch until mid afternoon, when we checked to find out my flight home was going to be delayed (Boo airtran!). I tried calling the airline to see if I could work out some arrangement that would mean I didn't just have to go sit at the airport for the extra at least 2 hours, but the girl on the phone was not much help. She told me she couldn't help me for less than $100 and that she didn't really understand what I was asking her and she didn't think I was making sense. I told her what I was asking did make sense if she thought about it, and that I doubted that her being confused was so infrequent an event that I needed to look inward for the reason. I left her pondering that one and hung up, then made my way to the airport. I decided as a gesture of conciliation that I would split the time with AirTran. They said I was going to be delayed 2 hours, so I went to the airport 1 hour late. Only I ended up being delayed 3.5 hours, so I guess they won in the end. It's ok though, I'm going to write them a letter. And since I'm right on a lot of major points, I'm hoping for a credit of some sort. Wish me luck!
So I finally got to Baltimore at 10:30 last night, instead of 7pm, which is not the same. I had planned to work more on the quilt, but there is a child in the rowhouse next door and I think my sewing machine would wake her*. Plus, I was tired from my long day at the airport. On the plus side though, I did finally knit through an entire skein of my alpaca yarn, which is rapidly turning into a big smushy, warm, soft scarf. Might be a xmas present, but very likely for myself.
For reasons including but not limited to this "I need to be sewing in the middle of the night" I think I am moving the craft studio at least partially to the basement. In addition to logistical concerns, the current location is also the coldest room in the house, and even with the windows all shrink wrapped n shizz when the wind blows in the winter, shit moves in the craft room. It's just not feasible that I'm going to work in there in the cold. The basement however is underground, near the heater, hot water tank and the dryer and remains a pretty reasonable temp year round. Plus is wind free (yay!) I think winter craft headquarters is down there. Not to mention HN's patio set. I stole it when he wasn't looking and figure that would make the perfect winter craft table. And so it shall be. But probably not today. I'll post pics when it's time.
Slob thanksgiving ensued and that has to be it's own post once I get some pictures. There's just too much to tell. The short version is I got the dinner I deserved on Thanksgiving and I might be over the whole goose thing. I ate until I was paralyzed, and I would do it all over again.
Sunday was a treat because I LOVE SLUMBER PARTIES and especially the morning after slumber parties. We hung out, had coffee, cinnamon rolls, more girl chatter before most people wrapped up and shoved out. Jenn and I are not most people, and we made ourselves quite at home on Holly's couch until mid afternoon, when we checked to find out my flight home was going to be delayed (Boo airtran!). I tried calling the airline to see if I could work out some arrangement that would mean I didn't just have to go sit at the airport for the extra at least 2 hours, but the girl on the phone was not much help. She told me she couldn't help me for less than $100 and that she didn't really understand what I was asking her and she didn't think I was making sense. I told her what I was asking did make sense if she thought about it, and that I doubted that her being confused was so infrequent an event that I needed to look inward for the reason. I left her pondering that one and hung up, then made my way to the airport. I decided as a gesture of conciliation that I would split the time with AirTran. They said I was going to be delayed 2 hours, so I went to the airport 1 hour late. Only I ended up being delayed 3.5 hours, so I guess they won in the end. It's ok though, I'm going to write them a letter. And since I'm right on a lot of major points, I'm hoping for a credit of some sort. Wish me luck!
So I finally got to Baltimore at 10:30 last night, instead of 7pm, which is not the same. I had planned to work more on the quilt, but there is a child in the rowhouse next door and I think my sewing machine would wake her*. Plus, I was tired from my long day at the airport. On the plus side though, I did finally knit through an entire skein of my alpaca yarn, which is rapidly turning into a big smushy, warm, soft scarf. Might be a xmas present, but very likely for myself.
For reasons including but not limited to this "I need to be sewing in the middle of the night" I think I am moving the craft studio at least partially to the basement. In addition to logistical concerns, the current location is also the coldest room in the house, and even with the windows all shrink wrapped n shizz when the wind blows in the winter, shit moves in the craft room. It's just not feasible that I'm going to work in there in the cold. The basement however is underground, near the heater, hot water tank and the dryer and remains a pretty reasonable temp year round. Plus is wind free (yay!) I think winter craft headquarters is down there. Not to mention HN's patio set. I stole it when he wasn't looking and figure that would make the perfect winter craft table. And so it shall be. But probably not today. I'll post pics when it's time.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Right now
I am in a meeting with the "project manager" at NSI. I have time to blog about it because he doesn't have Microsoft Project on his computer so I am waiting for him to find a computer that does have it so we can print out the latest version of the plan and look it over. This problem originates in the fact that he has a Mac. I won't bore you with the details of the fact that he bought a Mac because he's an avid photographer and wanted the imaging stuff you can do on a Mac. I won't also bore you with how NOTHING in this place runs on the Mac and so as IT director, there were 0 actual justification in him choosing a Mac. I also won't tell you how many hours his team has spent on trying to get the Mac working for him. Or how when he wants to do anything actually work related (which, granted is not often) he goes to the room next door and uses a PC he made his staff set up for him.
He didn't just buy project for the Mac, he installed VMWare only he doesn't know how to set it up so his VMs are all junk. I just saw 2 of 4 BSOD.
He also has this chair in his office (among others. he has a catalog about "chairs with high backs that denote status")
How do you even pretend this chair is for working? I should also point out that he sleeps in his office all the time, even before this little beauty came along. He must have been getting neck cricks or something. I have on numerous occasions cameraphoned pics of him and sent back to my home office to try to explain why I have such a hard time with this guy. A picture is worth a thousand words (especially when 900 of the words are "fuck" and "idiot")
He didn't just buy project for the Mac, he installed VMWare only he doesn't know how to set it up so his VMs are all junk. I just saw 2 of 4 BSOD.
He also has this chair in his office (among others. he has a catalog about "chairs with high backs that denote status")
How do you even pretend this chair is for working? I should also point out that he sleeps in his office all the time, even before this little beauty came along. He must have been getting neck cricks or something. I have on numerous occasions cameraphoned pics of him and sent back to my home office to try to explain why I have such a hard time with this guy. A picture is worth a thousand words (especially when 900 of the words are "fuck" and "idiot")
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Working hard or hardly working?
It's kind of the theme of my day. I have been working alot lately, so I have slacking to catch up on, for real. I'm working on it, and thought I would taunt all you people with what I've been doing instead of working today. (don't get me wrong, I am working too which is gross. but I start at 5, so I feel quite justified in spending a decent amount of time fucking off)
Anyhoo, today's break consisted of messing with the dog:
The poor thing; the couch has crap all over it and she doesn't deal well with that so she was forced to pile herself on top of the pile of pillows:
I found this hysterical.
She found my hysteria less than amusing:
You might not know her well enough to know, but I am getting dirty looks. Apparently this is not so funny.
I am finding this all much more funny than she is. And I'm totally sober!
I am a paparazzi/terrorist. Right up in there! The people have a right to know!
Pensive xmas doggy.
I can not wait to sleep under this for the first time. It will be VICTORY!
Anyhoo, today's break consisted of messing with the dog:
The poor thing; the couch has crap all over it and she doesn't deal well with that so she was forced to pile herself on top of the pile of pillows:
I found this hysterical.She found my hysteria less than amusing:
You might not know her well enough to know, but I am getting dirty looks. Apparently this is not so funny.
I am finding this all much more funny than she is. And I'm totally sober!
I am a paparazzi/terrorist. Right up in there! The people have a right to know!Completely having a blast with this harass the pet campaign (after all that's at least part of what they're for right?) I decide to break out this year's xmas card contender. I was afraid I would spoil it for people, but this isn't nearly the extent of it. You have no idea.
Pensive xmas doggy.
Eventually, as all things do, the novelty began to wear off of this. Especially when she went from looking horrified to just being resigned to the fact that I was in one of those moods. Heaving sighs have a limited laugh line for me, so I went off to work on other stuff like my KICK ASS QUILT! I am buzzing on this thing, mostly because 1) it's more fun that work 2) I need a blanket, and 3) Since I am unwilling to put things away and take them back out to work on them, there is quilting shit all over my house. The upstairs looks like a damn fabric store exploded. So I need to keep cracking and get it over with, and I've decided I'm going to spend at least an hour a day or so on it. I might finish this in record time for me, but we'll see. I usually stall out at the finishing touches stage of things.
Anyhoo, here is the updated pic after today's work session:
Anyhoo, here is the updated pic after today's work session:
And here is a pic of it laying sort of on the bed, with kitty and stuff for scale. Pardon the horridly messy bed, getting up was a bit complicated today. I apparently turned sideways in my sleep and so when I went to get up to get my alarm, up and out were not really where I thought they were going to be. It was a kind of a scene.
I can not wait to sleep under this for the first time. It will be VICTORY!Monday, November 26, 2007
Weekend
Sigh. It just goes by too fast, I really needed like an 11 day weekend or so.
I did however manage to cram a decent bit of fun into the little time I had and make it worth it. I've decided I'm going to become one of those people with the cameras all the time. I missed so many good photo ops over the weekend, I'm tired of it. Here and now I commit to being full time obnoxious with the camera in the name of never being sad about something I wish I could take a picture of again. This includes friends, so beware one and all.
I forget where I left off in my tales. Ah yes, the lament of the Goose which I do not care for...
Friday was apparently not remarkable because I don't remember what I did. I'm sure it will come to me, but most likely it was cleaning and stuff because my house is looking pretty good and I didn't do it Sat or Sun.
Saturday Catherine, Katie and I went for a gambol at Great Falls, which is a pretty lovely park not too far from here. it was awesome to get out, and reminded me that I have turned into a lazy ass since moving to MD. Seemingly, because the wilderness is not right outside my door I have abandoned all attempts to go get it. Well no more! I'm getting back on that train (I really need to for my own good and the good of those around me). And I'm bringing my camera with!
Saturday night I saw No Country for Old Men. I liked it; it was very suspenseful, gorgeously shot and full of hot manly men. Thumb up! I'm not sure it's a life changing movie, but I didn't want to storm out and ask for my money back so it was ok.
Sunday was spent working on my quilt. Granted, it's only about 2x3ft by now, but I think I might be ok with this quilting business. I'm pretty excited about it to be honest. This might be the one project I actually finish in any reasonable amount of time. This is motivated only very partially by the fact that it's getting cold, and more so by the fact that ITS THE BOMB! I'm very happy with how it looks so far, and although I am not sticking to any particular design -the attention span just does not allow for it- I have mixed up a couple of designs (crazy quilt and log cabin) and I'm making my own thing. Behold!
the unfinished product. you can't tell me it doesn't rule!
closeup: oh yeah. there are sequins involved!
I did however manage to cram a decent bit of fun into the little time I had and make it worth it. I've decided I'm going to become one of those people with the cameras all the time. I missed so many good photo ops over the weekend, I'm tired of it. Here and now I commit to being full time obnoxious with the camera in the name of never being sad about something I wish I could take a picture of again. This includes friends, so beware one and all.
I forget where I left off in my tales. Ah yes, the lament of the Goose which I do not care for...
Friday was apparently not remarkable because I don't remember what I did. I'm sure it will come to me, but most likely it was cleaning and stuff because my house is looking pretty good and I didn't do it Sat or Sun.
Saturday Catherine, Katie and I went for a gambol at Great Falls, which is a pretty lovely park not too far from here. it was awesome to get out, and reminded me that I have turned into a lazy ass since moving to MD. Seemingly, because the wilderness is not right outside my door I have abandoned all attempts to go get it. Well no more! I'm getting back on that train (I really need to for my own good and the good of those around me). And I'm bringing my camera with!
Saturday night I saw No Country for Old Men. I liked it; it was very suspenseful, gorgeously shot and full of hot manly men. Thumb up! I'm not sure it's a life changing movie, but I didn't want to storm out and ask for my money back so it was ok.
Sunday was spent working on my quilt. Granted, it's only about 2x3ft by now, but I think I might be ok with this quilting business. I'm pretty excited about it to be honest. This might be the one project I actually finish in any reasonable amount of time. This is motivated only very partially by the fact that it's getting cold, and more so by the fact that ITS THE BOMB! I'm very happy with how it looks so far, and although I am not sticking to any particular design -the attention span just does not allow for it- I have mixed up a couple of designs (crazy quilt and log cabin) and I'm making my own thing. Behold!
the unfinished product. you can't tell me it doesn't rule!
closeup: oh yeah. there are sequins involved!Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
I'm sorry, that's just wrong.
Thanksgiving: the bug report version
Scenario: I was extended, and accepted, the offer of spending Thanksgiving with HN and his family. This was fabulous because a)it negates the need for me to drive home, b)provides HN time, and c)his family has some pretty righteous cooks. I was excited
We were actually going to be the ones cooking dinner, but plans changed for many reasons and we were put on "just show up with some side dishes" patrol. It's cool ese, I was pretty much concerned with one and only one thing: delicious turkey dinner. I was even feeling so good I offered to be the one who ran to the grocery store for all the last minute stuff ON THE MORNING OF THANKSGIVING WHEN ALL THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE OUT. Because I was glowing with anticipation of the bountiful feast that accompanies this blessed day in our history when we honor the pilgrims (who were so crazy even the Quakers thought they were nuts) for bringing smallpox and alcoholism to the Indians (who are not really from India). So I do my thing, go to not one but TWO grocery stores, because Whole Foods is so cool they're closed on Thanksgiving. How progressive. Silly them though, they left all of their outside stuff outside. People were filling carts up, then trying to go inside to pay for it and being confronted by locked doors with "closed" signs on them. I didn't take anything, but this is Baltimore. Whole Foods totally got robbed at least a little on Thanksgiving (but seriously not by me. I have a karma fear and am sure someone would choke on any food I stole and I would feel like I brought it on).
So with WF closed, it was off to the neighborhood grocer, with a list that had been prepared with WF in mind. Which is to say, they wanted fancy organic stuff and some stuff that was just fancy. So it was like a SuperFresh scavenger hunt, where I try to figure out what is the ghetto mart equivalent of the schmancy goods on the list. One hour and 3 cart collisions later I make it out with 90% of the list contents. good enough for me!
Anyhoo, fast forward through the day. See me making pies, rolls, cranberry sauce. Picture a whirling dervish of domestic skill palpating around the kitchen and producing results and you pretty much have the picture.
HN is producing mulled wine (HOT!), which I sample a little of and look forward to more of. I'm hanging out in his house, thinking I'm ready to go.
EXPECTED: I would be considered acceptable and we would drive over to enjoy a delicious dinner.
I mean, seriously:
Loose fitting pants? CHECK
Comfy sweatshirt? CHECK
sensible shoes, so as to avoid any untoward events that might take place after a few drinks? CHECK.
Do I or do I not sound ready?
ENCOUNTERED: people start talking about how we should "dress" before we head out. My brain starts doing that thing where it knows something I don't want to know and is just going "shhh, don't listen to them. You look fine" and I blink once (handy trick when things that should not be happening ARE happening. It can actually make them go away) It doesn't *always* work though. So I blink again (which also sadly doesn't always work), and HN and his dad are putting stuff down and seriously leaving to go "dress" I finally manage to inquire as to the dress code for the evening, at which point I am informed that they are going to "dress a little nicer" oh. Well, I guess I better "go dress" as well. How civilized.
So I head back home, shove myself into a respectable outfit and console myself with the idea of turkey and booze, and gravy. Oh gravy, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... But I digress...
So we arrive safely at the outlaws' house (not in-laws but outlaws! get it? I kill me), and I immediately dive face first into the mulled wine and the cheese plate and life is not so bad, even with high heels and respectable not loose fitting pants. I might just make it after all. Only...
EXPECTED: I would walk into the kitchen and see the delicious TURKEY DAY Turkey in some state of undress (They don't do stuffing, I was warned. Traumatic, but minor in the end so I won't dwell. there are other things to put gravy on, I'll be ok) Anyhow, I walk in with my mind full of possibilities: maybe they are rubbing butter on the turkey like Martha Stewart does, or maybe they're salt rubbing it: maybe it's something I don't even know about that they do to their stuffingless bird... Who knows?!
ENCOUNTERED: There are 2 geese GEESE on the counter. I leave the room and come back, still geese. I blink once, twice, a third time and it is still f*cking geese! Canada geese, which are essentially like pigeons but bigger. I am being fed pigeon for Thanksgiving, aka TURKEY Day. THERE WILL BE NO TURKEY, TO GO WITH THE NO STUFFING.
I take a deep breath. I had turkey last weekend (but not enough! If I had known I would have had more!) and I will have turkey next weekend (and I will make up for this dark time). I am able (with the help of some mulled wine) to get my emotions under control, and come to terms with the fruit stuffed pigeon on the counter. This could be ok. I mean, I might like it right? I wasn't really believing that for a second but I said it to myself like 100 times, and by the last time it sounded so almost true. So I looked at the situation as a chance to try something new, which can be delicious sometimes, like feta cheese, or spinach. I mean sure, when I express my controlled surprise and tell them I've never had goose and they compare it to the dark meat of chicken, duck, and liver in turn, I felt a little ill, because I find all of these things to be gross and offensive and not things I want on TURKEY Day, but they could be wrong. This might just work out after all.
Alas, it did not. It did taste like dark meat of chicken, duck and liver. and I did find it didn't suit my palate, so I did the adult thing; I cut up my meat into little pieces, washed some down with mulled wine and then hid the rest under my salad pieces. I would have slipped it to the dog but she's old and I'd have to yell to get her attention.
It was not a total loss though, there was (in addition to delightful company) a number of delicious side dish options. I learned a new lovely cauliflower thing, I voluntarily ate squash with kale, I had rolls with BUTTER because there is a minimum fat/triglyceride count that is mandatory for the day and I was desperate, and I had a delicious red cabbage dish. And there were mashed potatoes, so I was able to gravify something, which helped. But I won't lie: when they all started going on about how awesome the goose was (I had until this point held out the hope that it was gross because something was wrong with it, but it turns out it's just gross), and how their new tradition should be to make goose instead of turkey, my first thought was that my new tradition was to go somewhere else.
I hope everyone else out there had delicious turkey filled days and nights.
Scenario: I was extended, and accepted, the offer of spending Thanksgiving with HN and his family. This was fabulous because a)it negates the need for me to drive home, b)provides HN time, and c)his family has some pretty righteous cooks. I was excited
We were actually going to be the ones cooking dinner, but plans changed for many reasons and we were put on "just show up with some side dishes" patrol. It's cool ese, I was pretty much concerned with one and only one thing: delicious turkey dinner. I was even feeling so good I offered to be the one who ran to the grocery store for all the last minute stuff ON THE MORNING OF THANKSGIVING WHEN ALL THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE OUT. Because I was glowing with anticipation of the bountiful feast that accompanies this blessed day in our history when we honor the pilgrims (who were so crazy even the Quakers thought they were nuts) for bringing smallpox and alcoholism to the Indians (who are not really from India). So I do my thing, go to not one but TWO grocery stores, because Whole Foods is so cool they're closed on Thanksgiving. How progressive. Silly them though, they left all of their outside stuff outside. People were filling carts up, then trying to go inside to pay for it and being confronted by locked doors with "closed" signs on them. I didn't take anything, but this is Baltimore. Whole Foods totally got robbed at least a little on Thanksgiving (but seriously not by me. I have a karma fear and am sure someone would choke on any food I stole and I would feel like I brought it on).
So with WF closed, it was off to the neighborhood grocer, with a list that had been prepared with WF in mind. Which is to say, they wanted fancy organic stuff and some stuff that was just fancy. So it was like a SuperFresh scavenger hunt, where I try to figure out what is the ghetto mart equivalent of the schmancy goods on the list. One hour and 3 cart collisions later I make it out with 90% of the list contents. good enough for me!
Anyhoo, fast forward through the day. See me making pies, rolls, cranberry sauce. Picture a whirling dervish of domestic skill palpating around the kitchen and producing results and you pretty much have the picture.
HN is producing mulled wine (HOT!), which I sample a little of and look forward to more of. I'm hanging out in his house, thinking I'm ready to go.
EXPECTED: I would be considered acceptable and we would drive over to enjoy a delicious dinner.
I mean, seriously:
Loose fitting pants? CHECK
Comfy sweatshirt? CHECK
sensible shoes, so as to avoid any untoward events that might take place after a few drinks? CHECK.
Do I or do I not sound ready?
ENCOUNTERED: people start talking about how we should "dress" before we head out. My brain starts doing that thing where it knows something I don't want to know and is just going "shhh, don't listen to them. You look fine" and I blink once (handy trick when things that should not be happening ARE happening. It can actually make them go away) It doesn't *always* work though. So I blink again (which also sadly doesn't always work), and HN and his dad are putting stuff down and seriously leaving to go "dress" I finally manage to inquire as to the dress code for the evening, at which point I am informed that they are going to "dress a little nicer" oh. Well, I guess I better "go dress" as well. How civilized.
So I head back home, shove myself into a respectable outfit and console myself with the idea of turkey and booze, and gravy. Oh gravy, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... But I digress...
So we arrive safely at the outlaws' house (not in-laws but outlaws! get it? I kill me), and I immediately dive face first into the mulled wine and the cheese plate and life is not so bad, even with high heels and respectable not loose fitting pants. I might just make it after all. Only...
EXPECTED: I would walk into the kitchen and see the delicious TURKEY DAY Turkey in some state of undress (They don't do stuffing, I was warned. Traumatic, but minor in the end so I won't dwell. there are other things to put gravy on, I'll be ok) Anyhow, I walk in with my mind full of possibilities: maybe they are rubbing butter on the turkey like Martha Stewart does, or maybe they're salt rubbing it: maybe it's something I don't even know about that they do to their stuffingless bird... Who knows?!
ENCOUNTERED: There are 2 geese GEESE on the counter. I leave the room and come back, still geese. I blink once, twice, a third time and it is still f*cking geese! Canada geese, which are essentially like pigeons but bigger. I am being fed pigeon for Thanksgiving, aka TURKEY Day. THERE WILL BE NO TURKEY, TO GO WITH THE NO STUFFING.
I take a deep breath. I had turkey last weekend (but not enough! If I had known I would have had more!) and I will have turkey next weekend (and I will make up for this dark time). I am able (with the help of some mulled wine) to get my emotions under control, and come to terms with the fruit stuffed pigeon on the counter. This could be ok. I mean, I might like it right? I wasn't really believing that for a second but I said it to myself like 100 times, and by the last time it sounded so almost true. So I looked at the situation as a chance to try something new, which can be delicious sometimes, like feta cheese, or spinach. I mean sure, when I express my controlled surprise and tell them I've never had goose and they compare it to the dark meat of chicken, duck, and liver in turn, I felt a little ill, because I find all of these things to be gross and offensive and not things I want on TURKEY Day, but they could be wrong. This might just work out after all.
Alas, it did not. It did taste like dark meat of chicken, duck and liver. and I did find it didn't suit my palate, so I did the adult thing; I cut up my meat into little pieces, washed some down with mulled wine and then hid the rest under my salad pieces. I would have slipped it to the dog but she's old and I'd have to yell to get her attention.
It was not a total loss though, there was (in addition to delightful company) a number of delicious side dish options. I learned a new lovely cauliflower thing, I voluntarily ate squash with kale, I had rolls with BUTTER because there is a minimum fat/triglyceride count that is mandatory for the day and I was desperate, and I had a delicious red cabbage dish. And there were mashed potatoes, so I was able to gravify something, which helped. But I won't lie: when they all started going on about how awesome the goose was (I had until this point held out the hope that it was gross because something was wrong with it, but it turns out it's just gross), and how their new tradition should be to make goose instead of turkey, my first thought was that my new tradition was to go somewhere else.
I hope everyone else out there had delicious turkey filled days and nights.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Let's talk turkey
among other things. I am food obsessed this week, and looking back in the annals of blogdom I see it's almost that time of the month. Yes, I use my blog to track my period. I said that (Hi Dad! MENSTRUATION). So long lazy eggs, the big flush is a-coming!
Anyhow the turkey part of this story is more general poultry when I really think about it. But I get ahead of myself.
Let me take you back to the weekend just past. I flew into Boston (and boy were my arms tired HAAAAAA) for that annual festival of love, Smith Family Thanksgiving. It was actually pretty fun this year, which is a lot of a compliment from me since for about the past 5 years I've been on an internal boycott of the event. I don't really have an explanation for it, but I went home this time because this was the first one since my grandfather died and my grandmother explicitly asked me to. It's hard to say no to a widow, so up I went. In the end I'm glad I did. It was nice to see everyone, whatever issue I've been having seems to have passed and I genuinely enjoyed myself this year. So did everyone else, and I know the number of open and empty wine bottles in these pictures will resonate with everyone who knows me. Because if you can't relate, we probably don't hang out. ;o)
The weekend was also great because I finally got to meet baby Noby, who totally has his dad's eyebrow (heh). He is a gorgeous baby, as you can tell from his 1001 pictures online but he is hard to impress. I did that silly face/voice thing because I was determined to get a smile. It worked, but Becky caught it on film memory card and I've now been busted both holding a baby and talking to it funny. And he crapped on me, but apparently that's not that big a deal. So they say, but I think that's because "they" want to feel ok when they get pooped on.
(more pictures later. still lazy)
I also got to have brunch with some of my "lady friends" and I use the term lady loosely. I like other people's food better than my own, but luckily I hang out with sharers and someone's new man was eager to impress and gave me some of his pizza. Werd to the new guy!!
The ride home sucked, let's not talk about it. But I will say this: everytime I start to think PA is ok, it kicks me in the ass. PA SUCKS! and that is that.
I made it home, LATE and TIRED but managed to parlay sad face into a whole lot of attention from a certain HN who shall remain nameless and Monday wasn't totally wretched. I've been blessed with my boss' permission to stay home from NSI at least a couple of days a week. Can I get an AMEN!?
I did however have a fiber overdose related incident yesterday. I'm wondering if I talk about poo too much, so I'll spare you. Ok, I'm just too lazy to type it all out but I will share the lesson learned. 3 bowls of lentil soup are (is?) too many. If you're still hungry after 2, have some toast.
Recognize.
And now as we speak, for reasons unfathomable to the rational mind (who makes chicken on the week between the 1st and 2nd of 3 consecutive weeks of turkey, do you NEED more poultry) but explained in the first paragraph I am making a ridiculous roast chicken and vegetable dinner. It's going to be awesome! The smell is killing me, good thing I have this box of ginger snaps and block of cheese to tide me over for the next 3o minutes, or however long it takes. I think it's 30 minutes, that seems like a long time to me. I am horrible at the whole oven thing, I own this. I can do stovetop stuff and anything I can taste while cooking but when it comes to doing something by instructions and then putting it in the oven to sit and go, I don't seem to have the touch. This should be interesting.
And the kitchen buzzer buzzes and I'm out!
Anyhow the turkey part of this story is more general poultry when I really think about it. But I get ahead of myself.
Let me take you back to the weekend just past. I flew into Boston (and boy were my arms tired HAAAAAA) for that annual festival of love, Smith Family Thanksgiving. It was actually pretty fun this year, which is a lot of a compliment from me since for about the past 5 years I've been on an internal boycott of the event. I don't really have an explanation for it, but I went home this time because this was the first one since my grandfather died and my grandmother explicitly asked me to. It's hard to say no to a widow, so up I went. In the end I'm glad I did. It was nice to see everyone, whatever issue I've been having seems to have passed and I genuinely enjoyed myself this year. So did everyone else, and I know the number of open and empty wine bottles in these pictures will resonate with everyone who knows me. Because if you can't relate, we probably don't hang out. ;o)
The weekend was also great because I finally got to meet baby Noby, who totally has his dad's eyebrow (heh). He is a gorgeous baby, as you can tell from his 1001 pictures online but he is hard to impress. I did that silly face/voice thing because I was determined to get a smile. It worked, but Becky caught it on film memory card and I've now been busted both holding a baby and talking to it funny. And he crapped on me, but apparently that's not that big a deal. So they say, but I think that's because "they" want to feel ok when they get pooped on.
(more pictures later. still lazy)
I also got to have brunch with some of my "lady friends" and I use the term lady loosely. I like other people's food better than my own, but luckily I hang out with sharers and someone's new man was eager to impress and gave me some of his pizza. Werd to the new guy!!
The ride home sucked, let's not talk about it. But I will say this: everytime I start to think PA is ok, it kicks me in the ass. PA SUCKS! and that is that.
I made it home, LATE and TIRED but managed to parlay sad face into a whole lot of attention from a certain HN who shall remain nameless and Monday wasn't totally wretched. I've been blessed with my boss' permission to stay home from NSI at least a couple of days a week. Can I get an AMEN!?
I did however have a fiber overdose related incident yesterday. I'm wondering if I talk about poo too much, so I'll spare you. Ok, I'm just too lazy to type it all out but I will share the lesson learned. 3 bowls of lentil soup are (is?) too many. If you're still hungry after 2, have some toast.
Recognize.
And now as we speak, for reasons unfathomable to the rational mind (who makes chicken on the week between the 1st and 2nd of 3 consecutive weeks of turkey, do you NEED more poultry) but explained in the first paragraph I am making a ridiculous roast chicken and vegetable dinner. It's going to be awesome! The smell is killing me, good thing I have this box of ginger snaps and block of cheese to tide me over for the next 3o minutes, or however long it takes. I think it's 30 minutes, that seems like a long time to me. I am horrible at the whole oven thing, I own this. I can do stovetop stuff and anything I can taste while cooking but when it comes to doing something by instructions and then putting it in the oven to sit and go, I don't seem to have the touch. This should be interesting.
And the kitchen buzzer buzzes and I'm out!
Friday, November 16, 2007
yyy am i not zzz....
doh! I have managed to totally jack my sleep schedule this week. I have somehow gotten to in the habit of going to be bed very early at night this week(and by going to bed I mean passing out in various locations around the home including the dog bed, I swear I only meant to lie there for a minute). Falling asleep this early means I keep waking up in the middle of the night, like right now, and am not able to sleep anymore for a while. Tonight it doesn't much matter, since tomorrow is Friiiday, and I will finally be having a slower day of work and working from home and eventually going home (Boston), so I can afford to be up in the middle of the night, no big whoop.
But this shit has been going on all week! I think I need to get back on a gym schedule and get over the fact that it's getting dark early now, since I am pretty sure that's a major part of my issue. Does this really happen every year? Do I get this weird every year or am I going nuts in my old age? This same "BS up all night" thing happened to me really bad on Tuesday night, but I had the Longest Day Ever on weds, and having only 3 hours of sleep, plus having to drive to PA to do an install then back to MD to work more, then to the airport to pick up someone who had decided instead to take a cab (don't get me started) pretty much resulted in my having yet another meltdown Weds night. It's apparently kind of what I do these days.
Hello my name is Kerry, and I melt down.
poor HN!
You know you're up too late when the dog won't even get up with you. She's all "beat it bitch. quit asking me why you can't sleep, you know I can't talk! and put that blanket back over me right now or I'll get up, go outside and step in more poo" She didn't get the memo about undying loyalty and affection. She goes off duty at midnight or something.
But this shit has been going on all week! I think I need to get back on a gym schedule and get over the fact that it's getting dark early now, since I am pretty sure that's a major part of my issue. Does this really happen every year? Do I get this weird every year or am I going nuts in my old age? This same "BS up all night" thing happened to me really bad on Tuesday night, but I had the Longest Day Ever on weds, and having only 3 hours of sleep, plus having to drive to PA to do an install then back to MD to work more, then to the airport to pick up someone who had decided instead to take a cab (don't get me started) pretty much resulted in my having yet another meltdown Weds night. It's apparently kind of what I do these days.
Hello my name is Kerry, and I melt down.
poor HN!
You know you're up too late when the dog won't even get up with you. She's all "beat it bitch. quit asking me why you can't sleep, you know I can't talk! and put that blanket back over me right now or I'll get up, go outside and step in more poo" She didn't get the memo about undying loyalty and affection. She goes off duty at midnight or something.
Monday, November 12, 2007
oh crap!
Well the rest of Saturday lived up to it's expectations and the evening was a ridiculous, relaxing blast of long neglected/overdue domestic activities. I was so productive it's not even funny. I might be good on housework for the next month, and my dirty laundry pile is not only small enough to fit into the hamper (there was a hamper under that pile!), it's almost nonexistent.
The fun was compounded by a well deserved night out. I capped off the evening with a very adult cocktail hour (attended in sweats: I love partying at home!) at my friend Jessie's new house, which she is in the middle of painting and needed some advice on. We were oh-so-chic sipping wine and discussing work, paint swatches, the difficulties of trying to find a well cut suit, etc. It was one of those nights where I'm sitting there enjoying myself immensely and then I flash back to 10 years ago and laugh at how much my definition of fun has evolved over time. Straight out of "you know you're old when..."
Anyhow, I was back home by 11, which was lovely as it gave me time to f*ck off for a while before getting ready for bed and you all know f*cking off is one of my favorite activities. I spent some time straightening out plants, finishing the tidying I had started that day, making sure new fish* is settling into his home ok- he's a little spastic but so pretty he has leeway. He's like the high strung sexy model of the fish world around here. And given that his freaking out results in the display of his gorgeous fingertippy fins (technical term = crown tail) , you really can't hate when the dude pitches a fit.
*new fish! HN, for reasons that would take a bit of describing has come into 11 Betta fish. I have been admiring/torturing them with mirrors for a bit and this little guy is supreme! He's gorgeous and f*cking nuts. And his fins aren't smooth ending, they look almost like vulture feathers or something, or fingers- all ripply. Anyhow, I knew if I tried hard enough I could sucker HN into making him mine, so all I had to do was get a place set up for new fish to live and talk about his new home incessantly and how all it was missing was him and then voila' doesn't HN show up with my fish Sat after work. It's like he read my mind or something: yet another testament to the power of positive thinking. HN also has some females and I'm thinking of trying to breed some Bettas just to see if I could. The females are ugly as hell and would likely be flushed as soon as the first eggs hatched, but my little guys build such nice bubble nests I feel like it would be nice to give them some use for a change.
So, Sunday began much the same way as Saturday. I woke up, began to make conspicuous noises and be otherwise bothersome until HN woke up too. I looked surprised to see him awake so early and then asked if he wanted to join me at the Sunday farmer's market. The Sunday market is actually my favorite one, I only hit the Saturday one because it's a nice walk and I love mundanity sometimes.
Anyhoo: to the market, back from the market and straight to work finishing out *still more* unfinished projects- I'm telling you this weekend I was on it! - and I'm upstairs working on a potential duvet cover or quilt or whatever for my bed, sewing and pinning and messing around on the bedroom floor with dog supervising from the bed, looking terribly cute as she was mashed up as small as possible so as to make her entire body mass fit in this tiny little sunspot that was at the foot of the bed. I had another little moment of "life is good", which have been scarce lately and I'm thinking about trying to see if I can also fit in the sunspot with Dog when I happen to look at the bed and notice something on my duvet free down comforter. Hmmm, methinks. The dog appears to have tracked mud in the house. And I'm looking at it and I realize something weird is happening, my brain appears to have completely paused. So I'm staring at the bed and my brain's doing that thing where it's just figured out something you don't want to know, so it isn't telling you just yet and I'm trying to pop the bubble and make the thought known because now I know it's there and all of a sudden a light dawns on Marblehead and I realize; it's not mud...all that brown crap smeared all over my bed, blankets, sheets and comforter is POO! My bed looks like something out of a poo horror movie! it's even on my pillows! noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
WTF?! I thought dogs had like poo radar so that they didn't step in poo. Don't they have like dog poo sense or whatever? Apparently my dog is broken because this is the 3rd time in a month she's done this. and my yard is not a poo land mine. In fact, I had cleaned it over the weekend so she actually probably had a harder time stepping in the poo than staying out of it.
Sigh.
So I finish up what I'm doing, run a nice tepid 1/4 tub full of water in my freshly cleaned bathroom (oh yeah, I was a madwoman this weekend!) and go scoop up one dozey dog and drop her in the tub to commence her mani and pedi, aka Operation Scrub the Poo Off Your Feet. She's a little bent at the rude awakening and also not quite understanding of what is actually happening to her but we managed to get 'er done and then I drop her off -in her bed this time - so I can begin Operation Boil the Sheets and Blankets the Dog Tracked Poo on. She's doing the "please lady whatever I did I'm sorry but quit it with the water torture" belly up sad face thing, when I notice her 9th nipple looks a little weird. Doing some quick mental math I realize she doesn't have a 9th nipple so I look a little closer. She has not grown a 9th nipple she has a GIANT FAT TICK hanging off her belly. Sigh. I go get my tweezers, and while explaining to the dog cost/value proposition and my happiness as it relates directly to hers and does she get what I'm saying, I extract most of the fucker. The front legs will be with us shortly I'm sure.
Anyhoo, not too much happened for the rest of the day. More cleaning, arranging, and getting stuff done! which I just love. There are a number of things and rooms that are almost done now and I shall be posting pictures of the new way my house looks soon. But the past 2 months have been so ridiculous, the past month has been disgusting with work and I missed just kicking back and doing nothing really/whatever I wanted. Sorry for all the words, but I had to get the people caught up with my life.
I do have some pictures to show you though. The animals were hysterical this weekend- or perhaps I am just easily amused. It matters not, I have taken some pictures of them and here you go:
The fun was compounded by a well deserved night out. I capped off the evening with a very adult cocktail hour (attended in sweats: I love partying at home!) at my friend Jessie's new house, which she is in the middle of painting and needed some advice on. We were oh-so-chic sipping wine and discussing work, paint swatches, the difficulties of trying to find a well cut suit, etc. It was one of those nights where I'm sitting there enjoying myself immensely and then I flash back to 10 years ago and laugh at how much my definition of fun has evolved over time. Straight out of "you know you're old when..."
Anyhow, I was back home by 11, which was lovely as it gave me time to f*ck off for a while before getting ready for bed and you all know f*cking off is one of my favorite activities. I spent some time straightening out plants, finishing the tidying I had started that day, making sure new fish* is settling into his home ok- he's a little spastic but so pretty he has leeway. He's like the high strung sexy model of the fish world around here. And given that his freaking out results in the display of his gorgeous fingertippy fins (technical term = crown tail) , you really can't hate when the dude pitches a fit.
*new fish! HN, for reasons that would take a bit of describing has come into 11 Betta fish. I have been admiring/torturing them with mirrors for a bit and this little guy is supreme! He's gorgeous and f*cking nuts. And his fins aren't smooth ending, they look almost like vulture feathers or something, or fingers- all ripply. Anyhow, I knew if I tried hard enough I could sucker HN into making him mine, so all I had to do was get a place set up for new fish to live and talk about his new home incessantly and how all it was missing was him and then voila' doesn't HN show up with my fish Sat after work. It's like he read my mind or something: yet another testament to the power of positive thinking. HN also has some females and I'm thinking of trying to breed some Bettas just to see if I could. The females are ugly as hell and would likely be flushed as soon as the first eggs hatched, but my little guys build such nice bubble nests I feel like it would be nice to give them some use for a change.
So, Sunday began much the same way as Saturday. I woke up, began to make conspicuous noises and be otherwise bothersome until HN woke up too. I looked surprised to see him awake so early and then asked if he wanted to join me at the Sunday farmer's market. The Sunday market is actually my favorite one, I only hit the Saturday one because it's a nice walk and I love mundanity sometimes.
Anyhoo: to the market, back from the market and straight to work finishing out *still more* unfinished projects- I'm telling you this weekend I was on it! - and I'm upstairs working on a potential duvet cover or quilt or whatever for my bed, sewing and pinning and messing around on the bedroom floor with dog supervising from the bed, looking terribly cute as she was mashed up as small as possible so as to make her entire body mass fit in this tiny little sunspot that was at the foot of the bed. I had another little moment of "life is good", which have been scarce lately and I'm thinking about trying to see if I can also fit in the sunspot with Dog when I happen to look at the bed and notice something on my duvet free down comforter. Hmmm, methinks. The dog appears to have tracked mud in the house. And I'm looking at it and I realize something weird is happening, my brain appears to have completely paused. So I'm staring at the bed and my brain's doing that thing where it's just figured out something you don't want to know, so it isn't telling you just yet and I'm trying to pop the bubble and make the thought known because now I know it's there and all of a sudden a light dawns on Marblehead and I realize; it's not mud...all that brown crap smeared all over my bed, blankets, sheets and comforter is POO! My bed looks like something out of a poo horror movie! it's even on my pillows! noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
WTF?! I thought dogs had like poo radar so that they didn't step in poo. Don't they have like dog poo sense or whatever? Apparently my dog is broken because this is the 3rd time in a month she's done this. and my yard is not a poo land mine. In fact, I had cleaned it over the weekend so she actually probably had a harder time stepping in the poo than staying out of it.
Sigh.
So I finish up what I'm doing, run a nice tepid 1/4 tub full of water in my freshly cleaned bathroom (oh yeah, I was a madwoman this weekend!) and go scoop up one dozey dog and drop her in the tub to commence her mani and pedi, aka Operation Scrub the Poo Off Your Feet. She's a little bent at the rude awakening and also not quite understanding of what is actually happening to her but we managed to get 'er done and then I drop her off -in her bed this time - so I can begin Operation Boil the Sheets and Blankets the Dog Tracked Poo on. She's doing the "please lady whatever I did I'm sorry but quit it with the water torture" belly up sad face thing, when I notice her 9th nipple looks a little weird. Doing some quick mental math I realize she doesn't have a 9th nipple so I look a little closer. She has not grown a 9th nipple she has a GIANT FAT TICK hanging off her belly. Sigh. I go get my tweezers, and while explaining to the dog cost/value proposition and my happiness as it relates directly to hers and does she get what I'm saying, I extract most of the fucker. The front legs will be with us shortly I'm sure.
Anyhoo, not too much happened for the rest of the day. More cleaning, arranging, and getting stuff done! which I just love. There are a number of things and rooms that are almost done now and I shall be posting pictures of the new way my house looks soon. But the past 2 months have been so ridiculous, the past month has been disgusting with work and I missed just kicking back and doing nothing really/whatever I wanted. Sorry for all the words, but I had to get the people caught up with my life.
I do have some pictures to show you though. The animals were hysterical this weekend- or perhaps I am just easily amused. It matters not, I have taken some pictures of them and here you go:
Saturday, November 10, 2007
so far, so good, and so much more left!
Today is the first day I have *nothing* that I have to do. I love it. For 19 days straight I have either worked, traveled, or attended a funeral service. 19 days turns out to be a really long time to go full steam ahead with no break and I am fucking tired!
I was excited to go to bed last night- I knew waking up today was going to be awesome because I would have nothing to do, and I would finally get to relax. So far it has lived up to it's potential.
I woke up early and crept out on HN to enjoy some quality alone time- I've had about 100 people in my face all day every forever now and I needed some air. I hit up one of my fave coffee shops and ordered a decadent sweet coffee treat/sugary pastry combo and did some serious people watching while I enjoyed them. I then walked over to and shopped at the farmer's market, making sure to hit up my favorite hot beverage for the weekend vendor Gracie, kicked it while I listened to guitar man for a while, stocked up on fresh local veggies then wandered home the long way and promptly started making the sponge for a HOMEMADE loaf of bread to go with the kick ass stew I'm making later. Then in a burst of motivation gone wrong, I locked Star and myself out of the house, which resulted in a 2 hour walk while we waited for someone with a key to come rescue us. After 2 hours I was ready to be indoors again, so broke into my own house because I got tired of waiting to being rescued, had a leisurely lunch, listened to some Stern (thanks ich!) and it's only 3pm! I OWN THIS DAY!
What will I do tonight? whatever the fuck I want to, but you can bet your ass it's going to be fun
. that's right bitches. Today it's all about me! FINALLY!
I was excited to go to bed last night- I knew waking up today was going to be awesome because I would have nothing to do, and I would finally get to relax. So far it has lived up to it's potential.
I woke up early and crept out on HN to enjoy some quality alone time- I've had about 100 people in my face all day every forever now and I needed some air. I hit up one of my fave coffee shops and ordered a decadent sweet coffee treat/sugary pastry combo and did some serious people watching while I enjoyed them. I then walked over to and shopped at the farmer's market, making sure to hit up my favorite hot beverage for the weekend vendor Gracie, kicked it while I listened to guitar man for a while, stocked up on fresh local veggies then wandered home the long way and promptly started making the sponge for a HOMEMADE loaf of bread to go with the kick ass stew I'm making later. Then in a burst of motivation gone wrong, I locked Star and myself out of the house, which resulted in a 2 hour walk while we waited for someone with a key to come rescue us. After 2 hours I was ready to be indoors again, so broke into my own house because I got tired of waiting to being rescued, had a leisurely lunch, listened to some Stern (thanks ich!) and it's only 3pm! I OWN THIS DAY!
What will I do tonight? whatever the fuck I want to, but you can bet your ass it's going to be fun
. that's right bitches. Today it's all about me! FINALLY!
Monday, November 5, 2007
wtf??
As in Where The Fuck have I been? Short answer: working and attending funereal services. Long answer = too exhausting to describe. It wasn't a good couple of weeks and it's hopefully over for a bit.
as in What The Fuck??? How is the Hollywood writers' strike the number 2 story in the news???
With all the wars and other shit going on, this is seriously the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER right now?
that's whack yo.
Not.
Right.
I should be making a triumphant return to less pointed blathering soon.
as in What The Fuck??? How is the Hollywood writers' strike the number 2 story in the news???
With all the wars and other shit going on, this is seriously the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER right now?
that's whack yo.
Not.
Right.
I should be making a triumphant return to less pointed blathering soon.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
1 overly anxious project manager on the eve of deployment, plus one saturday to waste could = PROJECT
so check this out!
first a little background.
1) I hate my couch. It's some sally ass material that can't get wet so where ever it *has* gotten wet looks nasty.
2) I am cheap. I keep trying to find a nice used couch but can't
3)I surf the web when avoiding work. Like right now.
Now, onto my findings:
you can paint couches! I never knew this! I may very well be onto something.
Also, I think if I had this it would change my life. Or at least my spare room which is under a pile of crap the likes of which I have never seen. I am convinced I would put all my clothes away if I had 20 bins to put them in. One basket each for undergarments and socks, and perhaps the bottom 5 for my craft crap. Don't you think?
It's like 6ftx6ft. There's also a smaller one I am contemplating as a possible room divider for my dining room. I could wall off the little area where I work and make a fake office type nook. And have local places to store my work crap.
first a little background.
1) I hate my couch. It's some sally ass material that can't get wet so where ever it *has* gotten wet looks nasty.
2) I am cheap. I keep trying to find a nice used couch but can't
3)I surf the web when avoiding work. Like right now.
Now, onto my findings:
you can paint couches! I never knew this! I may very well be onto something.
Also, I think if I had this it would change my life. Or at least my spare room which is under a pile of crap the likes of which I have never seen. I am convinced I would put all my clothes away if I had 20 bins to put them in. One basket each for undergarments and socks, and perhaps the bottom 5 for my craft crap. Don't you think?
It's like 6ftx6ft. There's also a smaller one I am contemplating as a possible room divider for my dining room. I could wall off the little area where I work and make a fake office type nook. And have local places to store my work crap.
Monday, October 22, 2007
home sweet home
today i came home from a long crappy day after a long crappy night and me and my new phone that im in love with were greeted with several nice things:
a very nice view of the moon rising over my house, just for me!
side one of my jack o lantern doing the tyra "BE FIERCE!"
the other side of my pumpkin. yeah, 2 sided cos that's how i roll!
a very nice view of the moon rising over my house, just for me!
side one of my jack o lantern doing the tyra "BE FIERCE!"
the other side of my pumpkin. yeah, 2 sided cos that's how i roll!You are one sick puppy
Things I learned this weekend:
1)It is possible for smells to make me gag. This is not an issue I've encountered before, I really thought with the dog that I had seen it all previously.
2) Candles can not cover or eliminate every smell up
3)While Star absolutely loves Amish roasted cow bones, the love stops at her intestines. Her intestines protest the cow bones (or perhaps the brine I didn't notice it was soaked in) violently, prolonged-ly, and at really inconvenient times. And alot.
She had her bone (and the remaining ripe tomatoes on my vines, sigh) Saturday night. I got her the bone as a distraction because i was having company and wanted her outside for most of the time. This part of the plan was a raging success.
However.
Saturday morning, she must have noticed I had a mild hangover. It was looking to be pretty fierce at one point, I won't lie; I overdid it Saturday night but after the first bottle of champagne everything else seems like such a good idea. Anyhow, I woke up at about 5am Sat, noticed the state of affairs in my head and pounded 2 glasses of water, a B/C vitamin complex and some advil, then headed back to bed to sleep through the rest of the potential trouble. Or so I thought.
I woke up at 7am with dog lurking over me suspiciously, most so because I had made her sleep on the floor due to something filthy she had rolled in that I didn't have time to wash off. My first thought was "fuck, get off my bed you dirty bitch, I just washed these sheets"
My second thought was "Ow, my head still hurts a little but at least I don't feel nauseous. Go Vitamin B!"
My third thought was a combination of things, but it went a little like this:"Why is the dog staring at me and not trying to get under the covers, what's that noise, OH SHIT" as I figured it out all at once, which was precisely the same time she began puking. On me and my bed. Hot, recycled beef bone, mixed with a lovely fresh tomato compote. I tried shoving her off the bed, but she was remarkably sure footed considering the state she was in so all I could really do was try to get out of the way, which was a half successful measure but I was able to eventually at least get out of the bed just in time for my gag reflex to kick in. I really cannot describe the smell, but suffice it to say that the dog and I communed on a whole new level and became as one for a few minutes during which we were both retching, wretched souls. Then she went off to downstairs, ostensibly to get some water to take care of her nasty puke breath, leaving me to deal with the stinking, steaming pile of vomit she left me. Sick dude.
So that being done, I went downstairs only to be simultaneously horrified by the state of my house- 3 wasted girls with power tools and pumpkins can make a serious mess- and the fact that my puke ass bastard dog was now PISSING BY THE BACK DOOR. Apparently all that gagging really worked up her water. So I opened the door, sent her out and took to dealing with that mess, as well as the pumpkin guts everywhere. I also made the mistake of saying "what next" DON'T EVER TEMPT FATE LIKE THIS! this is the part of my life that should be serving as a cautionary tale for friends. Just take your licks when they come. if you ask if there can be more, you will certainly be shown that there is. I know better than this, but I slip sometimes. After all, I'm only human.
Anyhow. I get the piss cleaned up, the floor gets a cursory mop (as much as I can stand the smell of the swiffer wet anyway) and the dog gets allowed back in. By this time, I've worked up a little sympathy for her, so I jump up on the couch and invite her up to cuddle- frankly we can both use a hug at this point. So she comes up and I'm enjoying the smell of dog close by, when I notice another little funk. I'm looking around, wondering if my mind had temporarily blocked out the worst of the puke smell and was now serving it up since I had developed coping skills (how sweet mind, thank you! this is really what I thought/hoped) when I realize it's not puke. What I smell is poo. I begin to absolutely panic, because if the dog is shitting on me I will totally lose it, when I notice that she isn't shitting on me. However, in her unsupervised, post nausea outdoor misery she had STEPPED IN SHIT AND TRACKED IT BACK IN AND ALL OVER MY HOUSE. and my couch. and me.
le sigh.
So outside we go, for a thorough foot washing and a deposit of my shitty clothes. Another cursory mop of her path through the house, and thankfully, finally, an excuse to get rid of the stupid couch cover I had been hating but hadn't gotten around to taking off. Then to the showers with me, because at this point I feel like a damn WWII nurse, I have so much fluid and "stuff" on me.
I come down, again the damn house smells funky. FUCK. now what? <-- see how I did it again? I tempted fate? I'm running all over sniffing, and I know something is up because the dog looks ashamed and I smell something. She's clever though, I'll give her that. I eventually figured out she had puked more, but hidden it well on the brown parts of my ghetto fabulous IKEA oriental rug. I discovered this through the tried and true method of walking around barefoot and stepping in it. Exactly at the moment it begins to register what just happened, I think "ok, more puke. Ick, but this must be it", I notice the dog -by this point now encased firmly atop a pile of my clothes on my friendly local armchair - is rearing up to puke again. And puke she did, all over my chair, all over my clothes, and all over herself. I can't even hate her at this point because she's clearly miserable but FUCK!!!!
So I get this latest installment of mess sorted and leave the house, because I just can't deal and I need to go have breakfast with people. The rest of the day consisted of me stopping at home and cleaning up more puke, then leaving again. Last night consisted of me waking up roughly every hour to the dog retching, tackling her and making her puke in a bowl- you would be surprised how bowl averse a puking dog is, but I could not, NOT, stand the idea of more bodily fluids on my house. I felt like Florence fucking Nightingale, without all the noble purpose. She finally seemed to stop around 5am, which is when I'm supposed to get up. Supposed to. After the last round, she was laying half out of her bed in the most pathetic looking position so I thought I would join her and pat her head a little and we both crashed out until 6.
And so now here I sit, running late, hugging my coffee cup and totally unprepared for the week to come. Is it Friday yet??
Hates the paparazzi
1)It is possible for smells to make me gag. This is not an issue I've encountered before, I really thought with the dog that I had seen it all previously.
2) Candles can not cover or eliminate every smell up
3)While Star absolutely loves Amish roasted cow bones, the love stops at her intestines. Her intestines protest the cow bones (or perhaps the brine I didn't notice it was soaked in) violently, prolonged-ly, and at really inconvenient times. And alot.
She had her bone (and the remaining ripe tomatoes on my vines, sigh) Saturday night. I got her the bone as a distraction because i was having company and wanted her outside for most of the time. This part of the plan was a raging success.
However.
Saturday morning, she must have noticed I had a mild hangover. It was looking to be pretty fierce at one point, I won't lie; I overdid it Saturday night but after the first bottle of champagne everything else seems like such a good idea. Anyhow, I woke up at about 5am Sat, noticed the state of affairs in my head and pounded 2 glasses of water, a B/C vitamin complex and some advil, then headed back to bed to sleep through the rest of the potential trouble. Or so I thought.
I woke up at 7am with dog lurking over me suspiciously, most so because I had made her sleep on the floor due to something filthy she had rolled in that I didn't have time to wash off. My first thought was "fuck, get off my bed you dirty bitch, I just washed these sheets"
My second thought was "Ow, my head still hurts a little but at least I don't feel nauseous. Go Vitamin B!"
My third thought was a combination of things, but it went a little like this:"Why is the dog staring at me and not trying to get under the covers, what's that noise, OH SHIT" as I figured it out all at once, which was precisely the same time she began puking. On me and my bed. Hot, recycled beef bone, mixed with a lovely fresh tomato compote. I tried shoving her off the bed, but she was remarkably sure footed considering the state she was in so all I could really do was try to get out of the way, which was a half successful measure but I was able to eventually at least get out of the bed just in time for my gag reflex to kick in. I really cannot describe the smell, but suffice it to say that the dog and I communed on a whole new level and became as one for a few minutes during which we were both retching, wretched souls. Then she went off to downstairs, ostensibly to get some water to take care of her nasty puke breath, leaving me to deal with the stinking, steaming pile of vomit she left me. Sick dude.
So that being done, I went downstairs only to be simultaneously horrified by the state of my house- 3 wasted girls with power tools and pumpkins can make a serious mess- and the fact that my puke ass bastard dog was now PISSING BY THE BACK DOOR. Apparently all that gagging really worked up her water. So I opened the door, sent her out and took to dealing with that mess, as well as the pumpkin guts everywhere. I also made the mistake of saying "what next" DON'T EVER TEMPT FATE LIKE THIS! this is the part of my life that should be serving as a cautionary tale for friends. Just take your licks when they come. if you ask if there can be more, you will certainly be shown that there is. I know better than this, but I slip sometimes. After all, I'm only human.
Anyhow. I get the piss cleaned up, the floor gets a cursory mop (as much as I can stand the smell of the swiffer wet anyway) and the dog gets allowed back in. By this time, I've worked up a little sympathy for her, so I jump up on the couch and invite her up to cuddle- frankly we can both use a hug at this point. So she comes up and I'm enjoying the smell of dog close by, when I notice another little funk. I'm looking around, wondering if my mind had temporarily blocked out the worst of the puke smell and was now serving it up since I had developed coping skills (how sweet mind, thank you! this is really what I thought/hoped) when I realize it's not puke. What I smell is poo. I begin to absolutely panic, because if the dog is shitting on me I will totally lose it, when I notice that she isn't shitting on me. However, in her unsupervised, post nausea outdoor misery she had STEPPED IN SHIT AND TRACKED IT BACK IN AND ALL OVER MY HOUSE. and my couch. and me.
le sigh.
So outside we go, for a thorough foot washing and a deposit of my shitty clothes. Another cursory mop of her path through the house, and thankfully, finally, an excuse to get rid of the stupid couch cover I had been hating but hadn't gotten around to taking off. Then to the showers with me, because at this point I feel like a damn WWII nurse, I have so much fluid and "stuff" on me.
I come down, again the damn house smells funky. FUCK. now what? <-- see how I did it again? I tempted fate? I'm running all over sniffing, and I know something is up because the dog looks ashamed and I smell something. She's clever though, I'll give her that. I eventually figured out she had puked more, but hidden it well on the brown parts of my ghetto fabulous IKEA oriental rug. I discovered this through the tried and true method of walking around barefoot and stepping in it. Exactly at the moment it begins to register what just happened, I think "ok, more puke. Ick, but this must be it", I notice the dog -by this point now encased firmly atop a pile of my clothes on my friendly local armchair - is rearing up to puke again. And puke she did, all over my chair, all over my clothes, and all over herself. I can't even hate her at this point because she's clearly miserable but FUCK!!!!
So I get this latest installment of mess sorted and leave the house, because I just can't deal and I need to go have breakfast with people. The rest of the day consisted of me stopping at home and cleaning up more puke, then leaving again. Last night consisted of me waking up roughly every hour to the dog retching, tackling her and making her puke in a bowl- you would be surprised how bowl averse a puking dog is, but I could not, NOT, stand the idea of more bodily fluids on my house. I felt like Florence fucking Nightingale, without all the noble purpose. She finally seemed to stop around 5am, which is when I'm supposed to get up. Supposed to. After the last round, she was laying half out of her bed in the most pathetic looking position so I thought I would join her and pat her head a little and we both crashed out until 6.
And so now here I sit, running late, hugging my coffee cup and totally unprepared for the week to come. Is it Friday yet??
Hates the paparazziFriday, October 12, 2007
Was that supposed to be witty?
Weird self aggrandizing Dr Man, approaching me from the side with a big stupid grin and coming behind the table, where there are 2 chairs for me to choose from: "I don't want to be creepy and sit right behind you"
me: "then don't"
Where else was there to go with that?? IM IN A FUCKING CONVENTION CENTER. THERE ARE NO LESS THAN 1000 CHAIRS IN MY LINE OF SIGHT.
sigh. i need a beer and a nap. hair of the dog and all that shit.
me: "then don't"
Where else was there to go with that?? IM IN A FUCKING CONVENTION CENTER. THERE ARE NO LESS THAN 1000 CHAIRS IN MY LINE OF SIGHT.
sigh. i need a beer and a nap. hair of the dog and all that shit.
Sexual contact for a cookie is a completely fair trade, but it better be a damn good cookie.
Today I am at NSI in a different capacity than usual, for an exhibit on my 2nd product line, which is used for Diabetic Risk Assessment. (more info here)
So I am the booth babe, which, while I do admit there's no finer choice in my company (since I am the only girl) still sucks. I hate trade shows, I get cage rage. I am stuck behind a table while people walk by and refuse to make eye contact with me. I have a mild hangover, which admittedly isn't helping, but it makes me so angry to *have* to stay in one place. I think I just object to being told what to do.
When I get home tonight I am going to stuff myself into my new favorite climbing T-shirt* and take it out on the wall. Or pass out on the couch and try to re-hydrate myself. Either way I will be chilling wif' my new schwag, and loving every minute of it.
*= I have never gotten so many compliments on a shirt at the gym, and I wear some pretty slutty stuff so that's saying something! I would not have thought my ravishing rack could be improved upon but I am now in the know.
**I'm not sure why I am semi-obsessed with referring to myself as a monkey these days, but being at this conference all day and a recent conversation with a friend resulted in me deciding to decide what kind of monkey I am. I am totally a bonobo.
bonobos hug it out! (and then some)
So I am the booth babe, which, while I do admit there's no finer choice in my company (since I am the only girl) still sucks. I hate trade shows, I get cage rage. I am stuck behind a table while people walk by and refuse to make eye contact with me. I have a mild hangover, which admittedly isn't helping, but it makes me so angry to *have* to stay in one place. I think I just object to being told what to do.
When I get home tonight I am going to stuff myself into my new favorite climbing T-shirt* and take it out on the wall. Or pass out on the couch and try to re-hydrate myself. Either way I will be chilling wif' my new schwag, and loving every minute of it.
*= I have never gotten so many compliments on a shirt at the gym, and I wear some pretty slutty stuff so that's saying something! I would not have thought my ravishing rack could be improved upon but I am now in the know.
**I'm not sure why I am semi-obsessed with referring to myself as a monkey these days, but being at this conference all day and a recent conversation with a friend resulted in me deciding to decide what kind of monkey I am. I am totally a bonobo.
bonobos hug it out! (and then some)
Friday, October 5, 2007
Need recommendation
I need to convert an image containing rtf file to an image file or a PDF while retaining both the image and the text.
Ideas ?
Ideas ?
Good ideas and bad ideas
Good idea: not playing the "lets see how old of food I can eat" game with the chicken I found in the fridge. This is a breakthrough for me!
Bad Idea: climbing, then yoga, then going for a run. haha. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Today, not so much
Bad Idea: climbing, then yoga, then going for a run. haha. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Today, not so much
Sunday, September 30, 2007
On the campaign trail: Swing states and the dirty Souf'
Oh man what a week. I get around.
Kicked off the week with a trip to NC for meetings and my annual review. Good times, I gave em hell. Ladies, if you ever have to have a salary review, do it while you have your period. My inner rage gave me the edge I needed to stick to my guns. I negotiated for every woman! Hear me roar! n shit. Back home weds night, I had to handle missed NSI business Thursday and then out to Ohio (OHIO!), as of 5pm Thursday.
Friday = meetingsmeetingsmeetings. But that's how I roll, and so I got it done. In the good/bad news sweepstakes I got a call Friday afternoon that I didn't have to work at the health fair as planned on Saturday, so I got clearance from my boss to head home Friday night. I wasn't able to get a flight out so I had to cool my heels one last night in Cinci (which sucks as a single traveler. two thumbs down) However, my helpful United air agent told me if I could get to the airport first thing, there looked to be room on a 6:30 am flight which would get me back to Baltimore around noon. I could handle that.
After waiting 2 hours for a pizza man who never came, and not really sleeping because I was hungry, sad and homesick I woke up at 3am to head to la aeropuerto de locale Cincinnati to try to get standby for an earlier flight and thankfully made it, then had a cool little neon experience in Chicago.
I totally stole this picture from this site. It's the amazing picture that was in my head that I couldn't capture with my cameraphone, or my digital camera (which kind of sucks in low light). I was also a little afraid I might get tackled by security if I got caught taking pictures. What with security being at level ORANGE now these days.
O'Hare airport, hallway between terminals B and C
It was actually one of the nicer moments of my trip, going through this hallway. My first flight had landed in O'Hare at 6:30 local time, after having taken off from Ohio at 6:30 local time. That took me a few minutes to process when I first woke up. I had nodded off on the plane so I was groggy and pretty out of it, wandering around O'Hare half asleep looking for something yummy and caffeinated. It was the layover before my final flight home, and I was totally ambling because I had 3 hours to kill. It was like being in the movie Lost in Translation/Times square/Boohbah land. While tripping. It must be said, there is some classic people watching in airports. Damn if I didn't ride the moving sidewalk for 20 minutes under these lights, trying to deal with the fact that I was in an airport at 630 am with no dinner or breakfast in the belly.
The good thing about big airports is they have everything you want, and if you're going to be held captive somewhere it may as well be somewhere that you can get any combination of completely asynchronous foods at pretty much any hour. So I cruised around and had a little travel brekkie of a Starbucks white chocolate mocha and a spinach pizza, did a little shopping at the Wilson's leather store, took a 45 minute walk to stretch 'em out and then made the standby list for the next flight to Baltimore.
Home sweet home, it feels so right.
Kicked off the week with a trip to NC for meetings and my annual review. Good times, I gave em hell. Ladies, if you ever have to have a salary review, do it while you have your period. My inner rage gave me the edge I needed to stick to my guns. I negotiated for every woman! Hear me roar! n shit. Back home weds night, I had to handle missed NSI business Thursday and then out to Ohio (OHIO!), as of 5pm Thursday.
Friday = meetingsmeetingsmeetings. But that's how I roll, and so I got it done. In the good/bad news sweepstakes I got a call Friday afternoon that I didn't have to work at the health fair as planned on Saturday, so I got clearance from my boss to head home Friday night. I wasn't able to get a flight out so I had to cool my heels one last night in Cinci (which sucks as a single traveler. two thumbs down) However, my helpful United air agent told me if I could get to the airport first thing, there looked to be room on a 6:30 am flight which would get me back to Baltimore around noon. I could handle that.
After waiting 2 hours for a pizza man who never came, and not really sleeping because I was hungry, sad and homesick I woke up at 3am to head to la aeropuerto de locale Cincinnati to try to get standby for an earlier flight and thankfully made it, then had a cool little neon experience in Chicago.
I totally stole this picture from this site. It's the amazing picture that was in my head that I couldn't capture with my cameraphone, or my digital camera (which kind of sucks in low light). I was also a little afraid I might get tackled by security if I got caught taking pictures. What with security being at level ORANGE now these days.
O'Hare airport, hallway between terminals B and CIt was actually one of the nicer moments of my trip, going through this hallway. My first flight had landed in O'Hare at 6:30 local time, after having taken off from Ohio at 6:30 local time. That took me a few minutes to process when I first woke up. I had nodded off on the plane so I was groggy and pretty out of it, wandering around O'Hare half asleep looking for something yummy and caffeinated. It was the layover before my final flight home, and I was totally ambling because I had 3 hours to kill. It was like being in the movie Lost in Translation/Times square/Boohbah land. While tripping. It must be said, there is some classic people watching in airports. Damn if I didn't ride the moving sidewalk for 20 minutes under these lights, trying to deal with the fact that I was in an airport at 630 am with no dinner or breakfast in the belly.
The good thing about big airports is they have everything you want, and if you're going to be held captive somewhere it may as well be somewhere that you can get any combination of completely asynchronous foods at pretty much any hour. So I cruised around and had a little travel brekkie of a Starbucks white chocolate mocha and a spinach pizza, did a little shopping at the Wilson's leather store, took a 45 minute walk to stretch 'em out and then made the standby list for the next flight to Baltimore.
Home sweet home, it feels so right.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Nothing lasts forever
However, if you can keep your wits about you and make the most of the situation, sometimes you can parlay bad luck into free sh*t. Case in point:
I was kicking in the backyard, taking out the rest of my frustrations on the "tree" when I noticed yet another Huey circling my house. Figuring it was just another day in the life of B'more, I cranked my iPod and went back to work. Imagine my surprise when the next time I looked up there was a 200lb bald guy scaling down a rope ladder and coming right for me.
I'm no dummy. I've done things I'm not proud of. I've also done things other people might want to pay me back for, so I took off running but in my haste I stepped on the rake a la Wiley E Coyote and knocked myself right back into yesterday. Or at least back into the arms of the giant goon coming at me (and not in the good way). Big, bald and ugly with legs like tree trunks and a little bit of crazy eye: there's only one group I know who hires people like that, and if they were looking for me I was probably in trouble. It's a bitch when the past catches up with you.
The man had some questions, and he began shouting them in a less than friendly way. He also used what I would consider excessive profanity, and from me that's saying something. Seems somewhere some Indian guy disappeared and due to a certain number of "angry letters" and "belligerent voicemails" I was the #1 suspect. The "stereotypical" "woman scorned" and all that crap. typical. I tried explaining to the big fella that just because I had a long and dirty history with the missing party, didn't mean I had at some point reached my limit, gotten tired of him ducking my calls, been fed up with having been used and abused and tied the party in question to a tree somewhere, because I just wanted him to listen to me for once! I tried to tell him all that but he just wasn't buying.
We went back and forth for a while, him yelling "where's Veejay", me denying any knowledge and him not believing me. Cue finger twisting and a slap upside the head courtesy of McGilla Gorilla, rinse, and repeat.
Then he broke out the big guns and said that the big boss was tired of doing all the work and they needed their squirrel back. They'd paid good money for his fake papers and they weren't about to let it all go to waste because someone couldn't keep it in their pants. I was about to ask indignantly if he was referring to me when the big louse got quiet. He grabbed the loppers I had been working with and started telling me about how he sometimes moonlighted for the government. Doh. I began to sweat a little and then he had to bring the dog into it. He said if I didn't talk that he'd give us both "nail trimmings" and since he wasn't trained in Manicures things could get messy. Looking over at the dog, I noticed that crap, her nails really did need to be cut, and I thought maybe I'd go a few rounds with him and try to get someone else to do it since the last time I tried she kicked me where the sun don't shine, and I quit, hence their current obscene length. Then I remembered how sulky she got after I posted the pictures of her with the hairless ass after her last surgery and boycotted me for a week. I also remembered he was talking about cutting my nails as well, and since I don't have any, I didn't want to guess what he might cut off instead. After doing some quick mental math I asked him what was in it for me if I did tell him anything, not that I for sure knew what he wanted to hear.
He responded that I'd get to keep my limbs and that he wouldn't put on a little Boobah symphony while relieving me of extra opposable digits, which was good enough for me. I sang like Mariah Carey in Butterfly. Loud, off key and with dangerously little point but in the end he got the info he needed. He patted me on the head for a job well done and got up to leave. He whispered that it was probably best that I kept this little visit between us, and I told him that cost extra. He smirked, signaled for the copter to circle back and disappeared up the rope ladder. I was standing there trying to explain to my neighbor that sometimes that's how I receive guests when a sealed brown package came falling out of nowhere. figuring if it was something bad it would have exploded on impact I ran over to check it out.
Scrawled across the top was 'something extra' and inside was a free T Shirt and some cards. Score! That will certainly buy my silence, and they can have Veejay, he cries too much for my tastes anyway.
thanks cerebral itch!!
I was kicking in the backyard, taking out the rest of my frustrations on the "tree" when I noticed yet another Huey circling my house. Figuring it was just another day in the life of B'more, I cranked my iPod and went back to work. Imagine my surprise when the next time I looked up there was a 200lb bald guy scaling down a rope ladder and coming right for me.
I'm no dummy. I've done things I'm not proud of. I've also done things other people might want to pay me back for, so I took off running but in my haste I stepped on the rake a la Wiley E Coyote and knocked myself right back into yesterday. Or at least back into the arms of the giant goon coming at me (and not in the good way). Big, bald and ugly with legs like tree trunks and a little bit of crazy eye: there's only one group I know who hires people like that, and if they were looking for me I was probably in trouble. It's a bitch when the past catches up with you.
The man had some questions, and he began shouting them in a less than friendly way. He also used what I would consider excessive profanity, and from me that's saying something. Seems somewhere some Indian guy disappeared and due to a certain number of "angry letters" and "belligerent voicemails" I was the #1 suspect. The "stereotypical" "woman scorned" and all that crap. typical. I tried explaining to the big fella that just because I had a long and dirty history with the missing party, didn't mean I had at some point reached my limit, gotten tired of him ducking my calls, been fed up with having been used and abused and tied the party in question to a tree somewhere, because I just wanted him to listen to me for once! I tried to tell him all that but he just wasn't buying.
We went back and forth for a while, him yelling "where's Veejay", me denying any knowledge and him not believing me. Cue finger twisting and a slap upside the head courtesy of McGilla Gorilla, rinse, and repeat.
Then he broke out the big guns and said that the big boss was tired of doing all the work and they needed their squirrel back. They'd paid good money for his fake papers and they weren't about to let it all go to waste because someone couldn't keep it in their pants. I was about to ask indignantly if he was referring to me when the big louse got quiet. He grabbed the loppers I had been working with and started telling me about how he sometimes moonlighted for the government. Doh. I began to sweat a little and then he had to bring the dog into it. He said if I didn't talk that he'd give us both "nail trimmings" and since he wasn't trained in Manicures things could get messy. Looking over at the dog, I noticed that crap, her nails really did need to be cut, and I thought maybe I'd go a few rounds with him and try to get someone else to do it since the last time I tried she kicked me where the sun don't shine, and I quit, hence their current obscene length. Then I remembered how sulky she got after I posted the pictures of her with the hairless ass after her last surgery and boycotted me for a week. I also remembered he was talking about cutting my nails as well, and since I don't have any, I didn't want to guess what he might cut off instead. After doing some quick mental math I asked him what was in it for me if I did tell him anything, not that I for sure knew what he wanted to hear.
He responded that I'd get to keep my limbs and that he wouldn't put on a little Boobah symphony while relieving me of extra opposable digits, which was good enough for me. I sang like Mariah Carey in Butterfly. Loud, off key and with dangerously little point but in the end he got the info he needed. He patted me on the head for a job well done and got up to leave. He whispered that it was probably best that I kept this little visit between us, and I told him that cost extra. He smirked, signaled for the copter to circle back and disappeared up the rope ladder. I was standing there trying to explain to my neighbor that sometimes that's how I receive guests when a sealed brown package came falling out of nowhere. figuring if it was something bad it would have exploded on impact I ran over to check it out.
Scrawled across the top was 'something extra' and inside was a free T Shirt and some cards. Score! That will certainly buy my silence, and they can have Veejay, he cries too much for my tastes anyway.
thanks cerebral itch!!
Friday, September 21, 2007
A star is born
Welcome Nobutaka Richard Ashihara! I know exactly what drives your mom nuts, I can't wait to teach you everything I know.
Congrats to Becky and Ich. I know the labor was so hard for Ich, he had to stay awake ALL NIGHT the poor guy!
Becky, you're my hero. That head is no joke!
Congrats to Becky and Ich. I know the labor was so hard for Ich, he had to stay awake ALL NIGHT the poor guy!
Becky, you're my hero. That head is no joke!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
BONSAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or, nesting on steroids. Take your pick... either way, it's been kind of a long crazy week around here. Lots of 6am meetings with the UK team, so lots of 530 wake ups. Ill. and Monday was just a "bend over and take it in the scapegoat" day, chock full of meetings but sadly devoid of any results. You know the type. It didn't help that I'd woken up at 2 am and couldn't get back to sleep. morale was at an all time low.
Anyhoo, I hadn't seen much improvement in my attitude over the course of the week, but I did notice that I'd become obsessed with dusting, cleaning, moving shit around, etc. And that I'm like a walking sebaceous gland AGAIN even though I'm 30 and there should be *some* perk to adulthood, no? Aah yes, the ugly face of PMS back in town and ready to play. I'm really (not really) looking forward to next week, when I'm on the road all over the map for 6 days straight of work and meetings, including a health fair in Ohio that I'm working next Saturday. Usually playing Dr is one of my favorite games, but this health fair is going to be for old diabetics. = not sexy.
So anyhow, the week sort of went Monday, very angry, Tuesday very moody/cleany. Weds was an amalgam of both which is to say I was in that most delightful of phases "the rage nesting phase" Looking around the house for an outlet I discovered there was nothing that needed demolishing. Unfortunate. Looking outside however, I was struck with inspiration.
The hedges. Oh, the hedges. The hedges in front of my house are huge and unruly and I've never been overly fond of them. There's no flowers, there's nothing about them I can eat. They just don't give a lot back to the community you know?
Sometimes I worry when I come home late at night that someone could be hiding on my porch waiting to kidnap me and I wouldn't see them because the hedges would hide them. The hedges also make it difficult to grow anything in my tiny little bricked off front garden plot thing because they hang right over and block the sun so all that grows is straggly little weed things. I decided the hedges had to go. And the more I thought about it, the better of an idea it seemed. F*ck the hedges!
Exhibit A. There could totally be a mugger on my porch! How gross.
So I consulted my bonsai guru to inquire about the necessary tools for the job: loppers. (yay! I knew I needed some of those!) Then with the parting words "have fun with your bush" I was off. I hopped in the silver bullet and sped up to Ayd's Hardware, which I favor because of their nifty old time paintjob and acquired the loppers. I came home, mixed myself a stiff drink and practiced smiling while saying "This will totally grow back" (more advice from the guru). It took me a while to get it down convincingly, which I needed to do because I know myself and I get a little enthusiastic with the loppers. I was really going to need to work with the bush on this one and win it over, because I was about to do something drastic.
So: Armed with my drink, my loppers, the ipod and a huge fake smile I headed out and got down to it. and how!
I really only intended to take a little off the bottom and make the whole thing manageable. But I was doing so good I just couldn't stop, and so I kept on. At some point, I had the right amount of greenery removed but due to a temper tantrum I had about 2 mos ago using the neighbors loppers, there were some bare spots in the middle of what turned out to be bush 2 (who knew?!) I hemmed, I hawed, I decided one bush is enough for me and it was off with bush 2.
In the end, the whole thing was very therapeutic (for me, I'm still not sure the bush is 100% with me) The woman who lives next door to me on the bush side seems to have mixed feelings on the matter -she apparently had some fondness for my ample bush- but this isn't about her so I just smiled through her pain, and pointed to my headphones, miming "I can't hear you".
If I could go back, I think the only thing I might have done differently would be to cut it from the top some to a lower height and then bonsai the unbonsai-able. But as I told the bush "this will totally all grow back" and now I have something to look forward to for the spring. :0)
So then it was onto the backyard for more therapy/pruning, and what happened there was just out of hand. Stay tuned, that's just a whole other post.
Anyhoo, I hadn't seen much improvement in my attitude over the course of the week, but I did notice that I'd become obsessed with dusting, cleaning, moving shit around, etc. And that I'm like a walking sebaceous gland AGAIN even though I'm 30 and there should be *some* perk to adulthood, no? Aah yes, the ugly face of PMS back in town and ready to play. I'm really (not really) looking forward to next week, when I'm on the road all over the map for 6 days straight of work and meetings, including a health fair in Ohio that I'm working next Saturday. Usually playing Dr is one of my favorite games, but this health fair is going to be for old diabetics. = not sexy.
So anyhow, the week sort of went Monday, very angry, Tuesday very moody/cleany. Weds was an amalgam of both which is to say I was in that most delightful of phases "the rage nesting phase" Looking around the house for an outlet I discovered there was nothing that needed demolishing. Unfortunate. Looking outside however, I was struck with inspiration.
The hedges. Oh, the hedges. The hedges in front of my house are huge and unruly and I've never been overly fond of them. There's no flowers, there's nothing about them I can eat. They just don't give a lot back to the community you know?
Sometimes I worry when I come home late at night that someone could be hiding on my porch waiting to kidnap me and I wouldn't see them because the hedges would hide them. The hedges also make it difficult to grow anything in my tiny little bricked off front garden plot thing because they hang right over and block the sun so all that grows is straggly little weed things. I decided the hedges had to go. And the more I thought about it, the better of an idea it seemed. F*ck the hedges!
Exhibit A. There could totally be a mugger on my porch! How gross.So I consulted my bonsai guru to inquire about the necessary tools for the job: loppers. (yay! I knew I needed some of those!) Then with the parting words "have fun with your bush" I was off. I hopped in the silver bullet and sped up to Ayd's Hardware, which I favor because of their nifty old time paintjob and acquired the loppers. I came home, mixed myself a stiff drink and practiced smiling while saying "This will totally grow back" (more advice from the guru). It took me a while to get it down convincingly, which I needed to do because I know myself and I get a little enthusiastic with the loppers. I was really going to need to work with the bush on this one and win it over, because I was about to do something drastic.
So: Armed with my drink, my loppers, the ipod and a huge fake smile I headed out and got down to it. and how!
I really only intended to take a little off the bottom and make the whole thing manageable. But I was doing so good I just couldn't stop, and so I kept on. At some point, I had the right amount of greenery removed but due to a temper tantrum I had about 2 mos ago using the neighbors loppers, there were some bare spots in the middle of what turned out to be bush 2 (who knew?!) I hemmed, I hawed, I decided one bush is enough for me and it was off with bush 2.
In the end, the whole thing was very therapeutic (for me, I'm still not sure the bush is 100% with me) The woman who lives next door to me on the bush side seems to have mixed feelings on the matter -she apparently had some fondness for my ample bush- but this isn't about her so I just smiled through her pain, and pointed to my headphones, miming "I can't hear you".
If I could go back, I think the only thing I might have done differently would be to cut it from the top some to a lower height and then bonsai the unbonsai-able. But as I told the bush "this will totally all grow back" and now I have something to look forward to for the spring. :0)
So then it was onto the backyard for more therapy/pruning, and what happened there was just out of hand. Stay tuned, that's just a whole other post.
Monday, September 17, 2007
the great mystery solved...
no, not who built the pyramids. "whats been eating my tomatoes"
so, i got mad at the tomatoes because they got bugs so i stopped paying them attention and wrote them off. then i started noticing while taking care of the plants i still like that something was chewing up the tomatoes. that i don't want them is not the point. they're mine.
so: today the dog is being awfully quiet in the yard so i go out and who do you think is shoulder deep in the garden EATING EVERY LAST TOMATO:
Mystery solved: the upshot is she smells fantastic, as she had to go through the rosemary to get to the last bit. i keep smelling her face, i think she is seriously freaked out.
so, i got mad at the tomatoes because they got bugs so i stopped paying them attention and wrote them off. then i started noticing while taking care of the plants i still like that something was chewing up the tomatoes. that i don't want them is not the point. they're mine.
so: today the dog is being awfully quiet in the yard so i go out and who do you think is shoulder deep in the garden EATING EVERY LAST TOMATO:
Mystery solved: the upshot is she smells fantastic, as she had to go through the rosemary to get to the last bit. i keep smelling her face, i think she is seriously freaked out.
The hate is strong in me
I've spent the last 4 hours locked in a server room hiding from everyone because I am a true sour grape. The caffeine buzz came and went and nothing changed. I'm still chock full of hate...why does my life not involve valium filled hours by my own private pool ?
I am remotely cheered up by the thought of the private time I will share with my shuffle when I get home today. We might go to the gym, we might go for a bike ride, or maybe we'll do something I don't even know about. Whatever it is doesn't matter, I know it will be fun because it's shuffle and me! I love shuffle. Shiny little green shuffle....like a valium, only green not blue!
Oh Shuffle, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
I am remotely cheered up by the thought of the private time I will share with my shuffle when I get home today. We might go to the gym, we might go for a bike ride, or maybe we'll do something I don't even know about. Whatever it is doesn't matter, I know it will be fun because it's shuffle and me! I love shuffle. Shiny little green shuffle....like a valium, only green not blue!
Oh Shuffle, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...Of course we're taking proper precautions against the sicko holding my coffee pot hostage.
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