Apparently I have an ant issue. It was more of a non-issue for me, because in my opinion the house is more than big enough for some guests but this morning they did the unthinkable. They messed with my coffee, invdaded my coffeemate! My beloved powdered cow! (I never use all of my milk when I buy it, so I've given up and just use the powdered stuff for coffee now. It never rots!)
Anyhow, I opened the container and see that the previously identified as not horrible cohabitants had helped themselves to my CoffeeMate without even asking. Bastards, there's plenty of crap on the counter they could be happy with but nooooooo, they have to eat my good stuff! Well fuck that. First off Do. Not. Fuck. With. My. Coffee. It's just not cool and it's not right and I don't care how cool you are with your fancy exoskeleton, I won't stand for it.
Tomorrow, it's Borax and sugar cocktails for everyone, my treat!
Second, the jokes on them. At 6am, I am utterly unable to come up with an alternative, so I just scooped all the ants I could see out with a spoon, and went back into the container like I hadn't seen a thing.
Then I put the whole kit in the freezer. It's a new jar, I'm not sure I'm ready to throw it all away so in the meantime I'm killing anyone who might be inside and not already dying a high fructose corn syrup solid smothered death. I'll decide what to do about it later, but I dont think ants are toxic. hmmm. mmmmm...
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3 comments:
People eat bugs all the time. In some cultures it's expected. Maybe just pretend it's your culture and throw some grubs in for good measure? Whatever you do man, don't squish the fucking ants. It sends out an alert and all the others come running to see what the hell is going on. You don't want to see the ant buddy system. They have a lot of buddies and I'm willing to bet they are all batshit for powdered cream goodness.
Maybe if you kept your place clean the ants would not invade! ;)
Mmm Ants, proteins LOL
You better get Kitty on it. Kitty used to attack ants.
I'm not one to push things like this but... Where the fuck is this awesome desk? I know you could be out there playing hero but some of us are waiting with abated breath here. Besides, once I am settled you and I are most likely having a build off. I want to see what you are made of. BRING IT.
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