The hate is strong in me

I've spent the last 4 hours locked in a server room hiding from everyone because I am a true sour grape. The caffeine buzz came and went and nothing changed. I'm still chock full of hate...why does my life not involve valium filled hours by my own private pool ?

I am remotely cheered up by the thought of the private time I will share with my shuffle when I get home today. We might go to the gym, we might go for a bike ride, or maybe we'll do something I don't even know about. Whatever it is doesn't matter, I know it will be fun because it's shuffle and me! I love shuffle. Shiny little green shuffle....like a valium, only green not blue!

Oh Shuffle, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Of course we're taking proper precautions against the sicko holding my coffee pot hostage.