Electric fences are not for sniffing!Ms Thing may or may not have learned her lesson this week. We'll see how long it lasts. Last week she was emboldened when she managed to make her way under the fence without getting zapped. Hilarity ensued, for several reasons:
Noticing that dog was gone from sight, I wandered over and happened along just as all of this was coming to a head. 2 pigs, screaming and running, 1 Marla screaming and stuck in mud and totally flummoxed, 1 dog unsure as to whether she should run from the very obviously not afraid pig, chase the 2 scared ones, or fight for the food. It was pretty great. I gave her a big neighborly smile and great big wave and a "Heeeeeeeeey Marla, how's it going?" a la Craig's mom in Friday. She looked up like a crazed woman, not sure whether to believe I was that stupid and throttle me or not. I helped her out by laughing at her and letting her know I was on the way and would help.
For roughly 5 minutes Marla and I tried to handle the wrangling, but as Marla kept yelling "Pigs come here!" and Star (being addressed as Pig in the familiar) kept coming back and making things worse, and the pigs, *clearly* not giving a fuck who was driving where to get their sorry asses burritos and who also built them a "pretty pink pig palace" could have given a fuck less and went immediately away from where she told them to "git!" to, we got not very far. We did manage to at least block the 2 pigs into the far pastures, thus preventing escape into the great wide world, though not effectively sealing them off from the pond, the woods or the golf course beyond.
Eventually, Marla decided we needed reinforcements, so she ran to get some help and at that moment I was able to NOT be doubled over with laughter and a plan came to me. I decided to use the scaredy pigs' fear of the dog to my advantage and gave her a Stay in one of the doorways they had open as an escape route. My girl has a solid stay, especially after a certain point in my tolerance for her antics has been passed. Once she was settled and blocking, I went wide and just began wandering around the pigs, drinking my beer and chatting sociably with them about things like bacon, sausage, veal (unrelated I know but ghastly just the same, not that I think it much matters to them because these fuckers EAT PORK!). They eventually came round to my way of thinking and fast waddled back to the pasture, where just as HN's dad, cousin, sister, bro in law and himself came back with Marla I was shutting the gate on the pasture and muttering how that had been enough of that.
I have sweet pig skills, indeed I am like the pied piper of pigdom.
- It was pig feeding time, so Marla was walking through knee deep mud with a trash bag full of school lunch leftovers (i.e. pig food)
- Marla was alone.
- Marla was outnumbered.
- Star was equally torn between trying to snipe at giant pigs and steal their lunch from Marla.
- a most fortuitous gust of wind happened to blow down the 2 boards Marla uses to block the pigs in pigpen when she is in there and doesn't have gate closed.
- 2 pigs were very afraid of Star and headed for the hills when the boards blew down. One pig was not afraid and proceeded to engage with said fat dog in a fight to the finish over the burritos. (my money was on the pig, btw)
Noticing that dog was gone from sight, I wandered over and happened along just as all of this was coming to a head. 2 pigs, screaming and running, 1 Marla screaming and stuck in mud and totally flummoxed, 1 dog unsure as to whether she should run from the very obviously not afraid pig, chase the 2 scared ones, or fight for the food. It was pretty great. I gave her a big neighborly smile and great big wave and a "Heeeeeeeeey Marla, how's it going?" a la Craig's mom in Friday. She looked up like a crazed woman, not sure whether to believe I was that stupid and throttle me or not. I helped her out by laughing at her and letting her know I was on the way and would help.
For roughly 5 minutes Marla and I tried to handle the wrangling, but as Marla kept yelling "Pigs come here!" and Star (being addressed as Pig in the familiar) kept coming back and making things worse, and the pigs, *clearly* not giving a fuck who was driving where to get their sorry asses burritos and who also built them a "pretty pink pig palace" could have given a fuck less and went immediately away from where she told them to "git!" to, we got not very far. We did manage to at least block the 2 pigs into the far pastures, thus preventing escape into the great wide world, though not effectively sealing them off from the pond, the woods or the golf course beyond.
Eventually, Marla decided we needed reinforcements, so she ran to get some help and at that moment I was able to NOT be doubled over with laughter and a plan came to me. I decided to use the scaredy pigs' fear of the dog to my advantage and gave her a Stay in one of the doorways they had open as an escape route. My girl has a solid stay, especially after a certain point in my tolerance for her antics has been passed. Once she was settled and blocking, I went wide and just began wandering around the pigs, drinking my beer and chatting sociably with them about things like bacon, sausage, veal (unrelated I know but ghastly just the same, not that I think it much matters to them because these fuckers EAT PORK!). They eventually came round to my way of thinking and fast waddled back to the pasture, where just as HN's dad, cousin, sister, bro in law and himself came back with Marla I was shutting the gate on the pasture and muttering how that had been enough of that.
I have sweet pig skills, indeed I am like the pied piper of pigdom.
Now if i could just get my dog under control...
Off Topic: picture coming soon, but holy crap can a pig till the land. These things should be rented out as organic rototillers. It's way impressive.
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