Hosta la Vista

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone's long weekend was as sun filled and fun filled as mine. Upon my return from The Epic Trip to the Customer in Florida, I promptly flung myself down in the grass Friday to dry out. 17 inches of rain in the 4 days I was in FL. With NO RAINCOAT. I was basically totally unprepared and spent the entire 4 days soaking wet, shivering and cursing the gods because everything that could go wrong did. Surprisingly enough though, all's well that ended well and I think in the end the customer is happy. I'll take that.

So back to the good stuff: HN and I had not only a delightful weekend, but were very productive.

Friday we had a guest arriving, a friend who will be staying with us for a week, so we put it in high gear and got a couple of rooms that had fallen by the wayside straightened out; you know how you get a certain amount unpacked, then just decide to table the rest for a while, and never pick it back up ? That was us, so it was good that we had this friend coming in. He's a good friend, but not a good enough friend that you're ok leaving him in the room despite it's condition- that honor is reserved for family and college friends. So anyhoo, we decided something needed to be done to humanize the guest room and since he was arriving Sat, Friday was the time to do. We work well under pressure! And now we have an official guest room, though lacking a desk because we were completely unable to make it work. We haven't quite given up yet, but it doesn't look good.

Saturday morning we sat down, made a serious yard sale plan and went on our merry way. HN went totally Clark Griswald on this one. He was A Man With A Plan! He got the map, he combed Craigslist inside and out and then I found this little beauty which made things SO MUCH EASIER! So then HN went postal on his map, covering it with yellow sticky notes of doom, meant to indicate what we predicted would be the hotspots and best sales based on the ads. Once this was done, it was time for route planning( automated trip planning is for p*ssies!). Map in hand (and snacks and water, because it seemed like it could be kind of a long day, and I was picturing him yelling things like "NO we can't stop for water! The sale only goes until noon!)" we hit the road, and found...... nothing we wanted!! Kind of a bummer, but I am comforted by the knowledge that at least it's Yard Sale time of year. Kerry likes this! Since our travels had taken us into the city, we decided to hit up the Book Thing, where we both totally scored. Heading back to the county, Sat afternoon found us both lounging around the lawn in the sun and reading the day away. Some people might not consider this productive, but I take my relaxation seriously, and was glad to check a little R and R off the list. We capped the evening off by receiving our guest and getting him settled (offering him a beer) and settled in with books to make ready for Sunday.

For no good reason at all, I have no recollection of what we did Sunday morning. I do remember though that we found a baby bird who had fallen out of his nest. A couple of Starlings have nested in a hole in the roof right near our bedroom. We were too lazy to get them out before they made baby Starlings and now that they have, it's too late. So every morning we are awakened by the sounds of SCREAMING hungry baby birds making a racket so as to be fed some ripped up worm. Lucky us. So as I was saying, one of the little dudes got a little too curious and jumped out of the nest to see what there was too see on the other side. Unfortunately for him, it was air and next thing we knew he was on the ground. Unhurt, sitting in a stack of pine needles, but not where he should be. HN picked him up, put him back and we thought that was it. More on him later...

Sunday afternoon we headed to a party at the amazing home of the amazing artist David Hess. He is the mastermind behind the P.L.A.T.Y.P.U.S. sculpture in the Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race, and HN was lucky enough to fall in with this group a few years ago and become a platypus kinetonaut. David decided this year to host a party for those peeps, as well as friends, family and other people from "the baltimore scene" The attendees were a hysterical mix of totally random people and a who's who of the Baltimore Art scene. It was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. I don't even like kids and I was completely enamored of watching the children turn some of Hess' sculptures into jungle gyms. I also decided if I couldn't beat them to join them, and I became the ringleader for a game of wiffleball that will surely go down in the annals of history. The beer helped, although a couple of parents didn't think I was as funny as I did. The most striking example was some fat overanxious mom who stood behind the plate critiquing every pitch that came her son's way ("ooh Robbie, that was high and inside. Don't swing so early!") and eventually asking if we could get a new pitcher. I explained no Remy (she didn't get it), because this was a very informal wiffleball game and there was no need to get all stage mom-y about it, and furthermore I was in charge and she wasn't even playing. She eventually got offended and left and all was well again. Party wrapped around 11 and home we came, where I promptly chugged a couple of Emergen-C packets to ward off the hangover I deserved and passed out. I woke in the middle of the night to some weird knocking noise/screaming and my first thought was "there's bats in the room". I did the only sensible thing, and woke HN to deal with this. After wading through my beer breath and calming me down, he pointed out that there was no bat, it was more like a baby bird in the wall sound. Yep, little dude had gotten bored again and jumped for it, only this time he zigged when he should have zagged and landed inside the fricking wall. This isn't a TLC special, so there was no cutting open of walls to rescue him- little man is doomed. I went back to sleep, and when I woke in the morning he was still going. Kitty was going bananas, which was a little awesome to see, then I would remember little dude in there and feel very conflicted about it. Was it wrong that I hoped he would die before bedtime? I am so not down with the screaming baby thing while I'm trying to get some rest...

He did seem to have quieted down before bedtime, but then this morning I think his mother went looking for him. Some bird's busted ass in now in my kitchen ceiling. WTF! I'm about to get one of those expando-foam guns and fill some shit in, because I don't know what gives that everyone is suddenly exploring the eaves, but it's damn noisy and I'm over it.

Ugh. this is getting long. I still have to tell you about moving the pigs, cutting down trees, and my hosta transplant program but frankly I'm bored by now and I'm reasonably certain you are too. More on all this junk later. With pictures!