I might be a giant bitch.

disclaimer: Still in a mood most foul. Probably only close friends will get through this whole thing. and by close I mean bored at work.

Kicking it at home tonight, still not really in the mood to do anything.......glad I had knitting class last night, because I couldn't take 3 days of this craptastic-ness.

looking forward to My Name is Earl. I think Earl and The Office have really brought back the Thursday night for me. Maybe it's because I got a job I have to leave the house for and stuff- I'm not sure if it's that the shows are new, or I'm a working stiff now or what, but Thurs is a welcome day for me. Funny shows are on, and tomorrow is Friiiiiiiday. yay! :) It's almost as good as Friday, which is awesome. But Monday is poo... Anyway, back to Thursday and Earl. and me :o)

oh, speaking of poo, and The Office. Today, work was a trip. The whole day was just surreal. First off, the weather was jacked We had the in-between of whatever is going on in the NJ area and the NC area, so we had all kinds of storms but they were blowing through so fast! It seemed like every time I looked out the window it was alternating sunny and black clouds. Then it finally rained and we had all these whack flooding drains on our street, which was interesting to observe from the building. People really lose their shit when it rains around here. Then after the rain, there was a double rainbow, and I knew suddenly that Nick and I weren't meant to be and that I needed to go home and get a divorce.

Then, things are all crazy at work because we're in the middle of some "restructuring". Some are taking it better than others, and I happen to share a cube wall with one of the ones who's taking it badly. In many ways he is like a child; and so I yell at him. Not like *yell* yell, but speak strongly. I am trying to keep it constructive, like Dr Phil or someone, but I think I'm more like Judge Judy. just a bitch, but man he makes it so hard to be otherwise. Maybe I'm more like Jan Levenson. Not bitchy but intolerant . Yes. In fact, I rule. Think about if you worked with a guy, who was a jerk and whiny and not good enough at his job to compensate for either of these traits. Add in a little chauvinism, nothing overt but definitely there. and fucking petulant as all hell when he doesn't get his way. I know it's not just me who's dated/known/been related to guys like this. He always has to have the last word, and often mumbles either when he's walking away after we argue or sitting in his cube WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT TO MINE. Hi! I can HEAR YOU! it's annoying! anyway. so imagine you don't answer to him, he's completely lateral in the company and you're stuck right up on him daily. Now sprinkle with PMS and that's where I'm at. And for some reason, when I'm bitchy I get very smart (like Will Ferrell at the debate in Old School) and make excellent speeches, and am moved to give them frequently- I have the complete lack of ability to refrain from speaking my mind (and this is not just a work problem, this has been a lifelong struggle for me). I even try to muzzle myself-but it doesn't work and blunt truths just abound from me. Maybe I have that half autism where you just can't filter stuff. Then again, if I have it all my friends must have it too. and my family. hahahaa. That's funny to think.
Sorry, off topic. So anyway, this guy is like Dwight from The Office with less social grace (?) and a way shittier attitude. and he can't do anything to me - he has no effect on me workwise other than irking me. and he won't just act normal. Let me know if you've been here, because I might just be a giant bitch. But I feel like he's the kind of person who brings out the worst in me because he's a jerk (and I try not to let it get to me but it does)but weirdly submissive or something and he just ignites confrontation. If he doesn't like the answer you give him to a question, he just comes back every 5 min with a badly disguised rewrite of the same thing- he gets totally hung up on things. He offers opinions loudly when noone has asked for them. And he most especially offers his opinion -loudly- if anyone else is ever asked for theirs- and if he hears part of a discussion, he will come back later and ask you about the rest. No boundaries. His catch phrase is "you gotta understand" and he uses it with everyone he talks to. I tried nicely a couple of times to explain that no, every other person in the world does not gotta understand, and that that is not justification of any sort for any behavior which someone points out as inappropriate or unacceptable. It never occurs to him that he might be the one who has to understand. Anyway, he's basically a constant source of irritation, and I think I'm gratuitously mean to him and I'm struggling because I don't really feel bad about it, even though rationally I know that means I'm a giant bitch. lol, the question is do I care?
He totally deserves it, but those are always the people most puzzled when they get it. argh.

Anyway, I'm off to watch my Thursday shows and go back to my happy place.

I won't get into my commute home because I don't want to poison you with all my venom today. and because my shows are on. (hint, see above report about weather)