The farm goes. I have pictures somewhere, but since I never took before pics you won't get it. I will eventually post them.
In other news, water main break. Going on for 24 hours now, still no crew to shut off the water. The street is degrading and spouting water from 4 holes now, it's pretty rad. The water dept said that it's happening all over the city and when they have time, they'll get to it. B-less baby, b-less. However, St Obama stopped in town today so perhaps his aura will cause the main to magically repair. fingers crossed!
And I continue to purge (and acquire- we bought a grown up couch!). Today, in the spirit of helping my fellow man, I turned again to Craigslist. I'm selling a couple of things, offering lots for free and having a field day with the responses I'm getting.
por exemplo:
1) i would like to pick up the thing 2morrow hector whats your number and address
A) well, hector. You couldn't possibly know this about me, but I judge people. When they do things like send stupid messages without any sort of greeting, and using made up lazy words like "2morrow", I delete their mails. My number and are address irrelevant, because you are DENIED!
2)Hey, Where in Hampden is this?
A)Why, are there places your mother won't drive you? Seriously dude, Hampden is like 5 square blocks. If location is that big an issue, you will never make it down the icy gauntlet that is my street right now. Maybe she'll take you to Toys R Us or somewhere safe, clearly you're not ready for the big time just yet.
3) Is it available ?
A)Maybe. Because you see jackass, that depends on exactly what you're referencing. Since I have a million ads going, and your ass was too lazy to put a subject, or to include anything helpful in your message like "I am writing about the XXXXX", I guess we'll never know. Also, due to lack of greeting or pleasantry making you have irked me and so in the end it's status becomes irrelevant to you as well. I always have goodwill as a backup, and I'm going there anyway. Do not be bossy and monosyllabic with me. Chump.
4)MY NAME IS JOHN AND I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO GET THAT BAR IF YOU STILL HAVE IT CALL OR EMAIL ME FROM 8 AM TO 11 PM
A) WELL HI JOHN. I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS BUT I WISH YOU KNEW HOW ANNOYING TYPING IN ALL CAPS WAS. SECONDLY, HOW ABOUT A HELLO, A PLEASE OR A THANK YOU? AND LASTLY DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Douche.
5) I live in Hampden too.
Reply to this message and I wicould get it asap. Will give yo six
pack of Bud for it
Chuck
a) sigh. Chuck, I want to like you. You're offering me beer for crying out loud, when I was well and truly prepared to give this thing away for free. I just can't get over the fact that "yo" are trying to bribe me with fucking Bud! Dude, this is Natty Boh country, and Natty Boh is like half the price of Bud. If I wanted to drink piss from St Louis, I would have gone downtown when the Rams came to town. And furthermore, I don't care where you live. Did I ask? Did I mention delivery? No Chuck, I didn't do either of those things, and there was a reason. I'm going to have to ask you to fuck off.
6)Do you still have
A) Do I still have.....? Red hair? yes. Dog? Yes. cat? Yes. The patience to try to turn sentence fragments into complete thoughts and figure out what the hell you're talking about? Nope, sorry. That was gone about 12 responses ago.
7) Hi! I would really like this! -insert life story here-
A)Honestly, I would really like a million dollars. That doesn't mean if someone tried to give it to me I'd regale them with tales of what I planned to do with it. Short and sweet honey. I'm not in this for the human interest angle, I'm merely trying to clean out my basement before I move. And also, lay off the exclamation points! k?!
By far the most interesting one though is the girl who responds to like 75% of my postings. She can't know it's me, and it's positively unnatural that our tastes are so similar that she wants everything I own. I'd offer to be BFF with you if you hadn't tried to hit me up for money when you picked up the one thing I did end up giving you. No I won't come out in the hole for giving away a free item, but I admire your stones for asking.
Pictures tomorrow. There are things you need to see.
1 comment:
CL is God's way of showing you there is no escaping Planet Moron. If you are going to be a good person you have to deal with... well... other people. I got a citronella collar on CL free of charge. Don't kid yourself, you're one of the people that make my world go round. And I always have a cheery greeting. I want to say something like "it's lonely at the top" but that's all hyped up BS. There is no top. There's only life, friends (at the top! ha!), free things and CL. Everything else can be overlooked without any kind of consequence whatsoever.
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