Schematic of the incidentHN's mother and her husband were in town for a week or so and I took an afternoon to take them to the mall to pick up some ipods for their grandchildren blah blah blah. Anyhow, it was raining, and we're driving home, down a road that has 2 lanes in either direction. The car in front of me moves over to avoid a large puddle and I consider doing the same, but then somehow I'm all super smart and smarmy and thinking "I have all wheel drive, I won't hydroplane. That dude is a p*ssy" so I keep on in the same lane, and just as I'm about to hit the puddle I see this little old lady, more specifically I see her huge eyes and her big "O" of a mouth as she and I both realize she is about to get the puddling of her lifetime. I didn't at this point have time to switch lanes and hitting the brakes on water is just not good, so I just went for it and *really* hoped that on top of it I wouldn't hydroplane, because really, how embarrassing would that be. The speed limit on this road is like 45, really I had no time to do anything safely. So I did it. I hosed this lady down for DAYS.
Then I bit my lip, then I burst out laughing because HONESTLY 1) that's bad karma and now I know I have a puddling or something coming my way 2) I was so smug in my all wheel drive-ness and 3) your boyfriends PARENTS in the car when you pull shit like that? That's going to go far....
So I proceed to laugh somewhat hysterically, because it's all so weird and I'm so uncomfortable right now, only it's that crazy laugh where your eyes are telling the story of how weird you feel while your mouth kicks it up a notch by opening wider and being louder. So that goes on for a few minutes, with HN's mother just staring at me and my brain rapidly trying to close down everything that I am doing right now. I finally get myself under control, ensue awkward 5 minutes of silence and then HN's mother ends it all with. "Well. Shall we go somewhere and get some lunch. Perhaps you would have a glass of wine."
Indeed.
3 comments:
You could have screamed TSUNAMI! or done any number of other awful awful things (and believe me, there are many). But you didn't. Because you are a good person. The wine was probably to congratulate you for being one of the nicest people on the planet.
Did you hydroplane? Was that guy a p*ssy? And furthermore, what the hell was that stupid old lady doing hanging out next to huge puddles on fast moving streets? Did you even once consider that you might just be a pawn serving up her karma?
Awkward moment OVAH!!
PS I would have laughed all crazy with you.
I know you would have. I actually had that specific thought.
AWESOME
Thanks for the laugh- truly!
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