i really prefer it when my cup runneth over

so i've posted another personal ad on CL. gotten some pretty funny responses, including a few with some seriously graphic pictures. is it just me, shouldn't you wait to see if the person is interested in anything you have to say before showing off your root? or could i get a warning or something so i don't pop that shit open while i'm eating ??

what is the matter with you people?

also, i've gotten responses from a bunch of the same guys who emailed me below about having dinner. it's frightening to think i might actually be compatible with them (which is one theory i have about why they responded- the other, and more likely scenario is that they respond to all ads...yes, even via blackberry)

there are a few contenders. ladies, i'm going to need some advice on this one, so dial in! don't make me surprise you with nasty photos first thing in the morning, you know i'll do it.

i think i did a bad thing.

well to start with, i did a bunch of good things today. :o) i winterized all my garden boxes, gathered up all the nasty dead shit and dumped it all down the street. it's the final stage of my "get caught up on shit i have been meaning to do" campaign and i'm pretty pleased with the results.

i X'ed a bunch of other things off my to do list and thought i would give baking a try. i was going to go bike ride but the damn weather cant decide what it's going to do so i gave up. it keeps starting to snow, and i am all set with that. maybe once i get my new jacket clean...

so anyhow. i'm having dinner next door tonight and thought i would whip up some biscotti to bring. only i couldn't find a recipe i liked so i sort of started one then tweaked it a little bit. but i don't think i necessarily did a good thing. i think i beat the flour too much if such a thing is possible and im afraid of what's going to come out of the oven.

i am just not good with written instructions. or things that require precision.

there. that feels better.

so, adam came yesterday and got the (seriously this time) last of his stuff. i was all irritable all day, just because him coming meant i had to think about him, which of course led to thinking about what a giant douchebag he turned out to be.








the Peoples' Exhibit A


anyhow. i knew today was going to be a day when i would be a little irritated, because it's seeming to take a day or two to move through it whenever i am reminded of some other shitty thing he did, or see something i didn't see before. belated indignance, what have you. so yesterday i asked my neighbors if i could tag along to the thrift store with them this morning, because it's super saturday which means everything is half price. i've never been but she (barbara) always comes home with awesome stuff so i knew i would too and that it would cheer me up.

it worked. i have been struggling with the urge to drop a bunch of money on this jacket, because i really felt like i needed a knee length down jacket. well lo and behold, the first thing i peep upon entering the scene this morning is a knee length down jacket, for 7 bucks. WHATS UP. and i knew it was going to be a good day after all.

by the time we left i had a trash bag full of clothes: 5 sweaters, 1 shirt for work, my jacket, a purse, a hoodie, a pair of cords and a t shirt. the grand total? $27.10. rocking! i am so pleased with my haul. i love goodwill! not only do you get awesome shit dirt cheap, but everyone who's there is in an awesome mood because it's super saturday and they're about to rock a bargain. over all, it's a very positive experience and it truly lifted my spirits.

so we killed the morning there, and i had some nice time out of the house/social interaction (both of which i needed). when we got home i felt ready to take out my frustration physically and productively, and to be done with it and over it. so i grabbed a saw and "trimmed" my bonsai weed trees out back. they are 2 giant weeds- poison sumac or something- that i started shaping over the summer to look like trees. only it worked too well and they grew ridiculously fast and ended up near the power lines out back, and they're always hitting the poor trash guys on their way by. so i decided to trim them for the good of everyone and my own release. it was so nice out, i brought star's bed out so she could get some fresh air and sun. she has been bored to tears lately, not being able to do anything. apparently chewing a bone is only fun for the first 3 weeks, then it gets old. she's doing good though with the leg. we have been taking 5 min walks 3x a day and she can bear weight on it and stuff.

out in the yard she had a good time. she also took out her frustrations on the tree:

"it gnashes it's teeth in fury... UNLEASH THE FURY MITCH!!"
do you think that stick is big enough?

i actually really like that picture, i think she looks all rugged. you can see the hair has not yet come back on her ass fully. it's going to be an afro when it comes in i think, because it's all the same length. maybe i'll rename her Patty LaBelle or something.

as for the trees, well. the trees will be missed...or more likely since they're weeds they will grow back twice as full next spring.

The aftermath.

i'll have to find some before pictures to show you. the trees used to be hitting power lines that aren't even in this picture. but i feel *so* *much* *better*!! honestly, if you're ever feeling bitter demolition work is the thing. my neighbor louis - who helped me drag the tree carcass parts down the road and dump them in the woods- said i just had to release a little destruction wave and that this was as good a way as any. i think i might have scared him a little. at some point in the process he came over to offer me his fancy tools to cut down the high branches, but i had already gotten started. i saw an arborist do this once; i just climbed the tree with a hacksaw and started cutting my way down. when he saw me up in the tree, clearly manifesting some sort of anger processing he just backed off and watched. he said i'm very bold with the hacksaw. hahaha.

then i came in and took a lovely nap which hit the spot. had a delicious dinner


also, if you know me, copy me a cd and send it down. i need something new. please.

OH MY GOD I HAVE A "THING" IN MY EYE

ok, so anyone who knows me probably already knows I'm a minor hypochondriac. If I read a book about a disease I immediately start manifesting symptoms. I've been checked out for lupus like 5 times because in high school my dad got me this book "Our bodies our selves" (which is awesome by the way, especially if you're a single man raising a teenage daughter and you don't want to actually discuss sex and ovaries but want to make sure she knows about all that stuff). Every time I read that part, I *know* I have lupus. I even put asterisks next to all the symptoms I have, so it would seem not so ridiculous when I went to get tested (boy that that backfire!)

Anyhow. So in doing more camera testing for work I got my eyes dilated again yesterday and took some Red Free (black and white) pictures. Check it out:



Groovy huh? Anyhow, so then the technician looking at the pictures says "oh!" and I said :"oh!"???? "OH!"???? WHAT?!

I apparently have a twisted blood vessel section, which he said is "cool" and is "as unique as a fingerprint". cool? well let's just see about that shall we? Here is a close up:


So there it be, my little roadblock on the highway of life. It is actually kind of cool to look at, but would be way cooler if it were someone else's. He gave me a brief rundown of the kinds of problems it might ever cause, and symptoms, and told me to be aware and remember to tell people about it if I ever start losing my peripheral sight, but said it will probably not amount to anything. He also showed me the spot in my vision that would be affected, so naturally now I'm always trying to decide if I can in fact see things in that spot or if I am compensating with my other eye.

I tried to warn him not to tell me things like this, but he just didn't listen. So now of course I'm already practicing feeling my way around the house: "just in case"

oh yes i did.

so last night I decided I was bored and wanted to go out, but I didn't feel like going out alone for a change so I thought I would post a brief ad on craigslist and see who was out there.

here's what i posted:


Hi there,

30yo female, going out to dinner tonight because I am sick of cooking and I wouldn't mind some company. I live in Hampden, would prefer something within walking distance (Hon cafe, Dizzy's, maybe even something over by Hopkins)

gender, age, race, unimportant. This will be a dutch affair (each pays their own way), you're not getting laid, and I may or may not decide to hang out with you again.

For now, all I want is a dinner companion.Seems like it's pretty straightforward right? Here's a few of the responses I got...(caps and grammar preserved for your reading pleasure)

1. I CAN AFFORD BOTH DINNERS< BUT > WHAT AM I GOING TO SEE ? WHAT''S YOUR FIELD OF EXPERTISE>>?????? HOW BRIGHT ARE YOU??? I'm a dwm, 6' 175lbs, most of the right stuff.. A RETIRED MAGAZINE PHOTOGRAPHER & LIVE NEAR BY>>>""" THAT'S -30-
• I don't know dude, what are you going to see? not me, that's for damn sure. you use too many >, and " and ? for my comfort. Seriously, sometimes one is enough. Plus, THE FACT THAT YOU RANDOMLY TYPE THINGS BOLD AND ALL IN CAPS MAKES ME THINK YOU MIGHT BE FUCKING NUTS!!!
  
• How bright am I? brighter than to answer your sorry ass. "most of the right stuff"??? you can kiss "most of" my ass, cracker!
• my field of expertise? It's lunatic detection. What's that beeping? Oh, you're setting off my "fucking nuts"-o-meter. ciao!
• "retired" riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight hahahahahahaha, "retired". that was great, thanks man.
• "that's -30-"? *what* is 30? WHAT IS 30 DAMN YOU!!!
  
2. Hi, I loved that part about not getting laid! Seems like that's all anybody wants. I am also from Hampden and would love to take you to dinner and chat. Maybe we could meet before at my place. I live alone and would like to get out now and then. Thanks, Dick Email for phone no.
• Hi Dick: I love that you love that part about not getting laid. I actually meant forcibly in addition to of my own volition. No, you fucking twat I do not want to come to your random ass man from the internet house and see if you might slip me a roofie or something! What the hell is the matter with you anyway???
• what the hell kind of last name is Email for phone no. I think you mean: "email for phone?" "no"
• READ: I SAID DUTCH MOTHER FUCKER!!! don't offer to buy me dinner. usually non offensive, but I *said* in the ad that it was platonic, and dutch and no laid! take me to dinner, you ain't taking me nowhere fool! you're not buying me shit, I'm not coming to your house, and you won't knock me out and tie me up in your basement and make me live there doing your weird laundry until I escape one fateful day because you leave the door open when you go to work. NEVER!!!!!
3. Have a pic?? I'm in federal hill.. Wanna meet somewhere in bewteen? Sent via BlackBerry from Cingular Wireless
• Have a pic? = "I think I'm getting laid" or "I'm too pretty to hang out with people not as pretty as me" SUCK IT
• ?? .. = "I am compulsive. I can not use a single punctuation point or I FREAK OUT. I REALLY need you to know what I mean? You know what I mean?" PASS!
• Wanna meet somewhere in between? nope, that's why the ad said Hampden fool. beat it!
• "sent via BlackBerry wireless" = "I am sooooooo important, and I am soooooooo mobile. look at me. I can surf CL from my handheld and email random chicks who say I'm not getting laid, but I better get a picture anyway, just in case. Cause you know, ugly people probably don't make good dinner companions" I'm so tempted to show up looking purty and then pick my nose at the table or something. haaaa. that would be fucking funny. I might take it there someday, but not today.

Do I even need to say that I ended up staying in alone ?

honestly, people. HONESTLY!!!

Vegetarian goodness. check it out.

enjoy! i'm having leftovers of this for lunch today



Lentil Barley shepherds pie recipe:
3/4 cup lentils, cooked
1/2 cup barley , cooked
mushrooms (i use alot)
onion
garlic
some mixed veggies (lima beans, green beans carrots etc because i dont like any of these enough to use a whole can of any of them but i know theyre good for you so i try to eat some)
some frozen corn (or a can of corn)
vegetable boullion or broth (use better than bouillion, or gravy packets from durkees)
soy sauce

cut up some potatoes in a pot with water and set them on high heat- i like to leave the skin on. by the time everything else is done, the potatoes are usually ready to be mashed and added.

saute the mushrooms, onion and garlic in a pan with some olive oil until the onions are translucent and the mushroom starts to look cooked. (can add rosemary, thyme, etc if you want- not much, maybe 1/2 tsp of each) add the lentils/barley and the mixed veggies, a dash or 2 of soy sauce and then a cup or so of broth and stir it all up. if youre using bouillion, mix a cube with 1-2 cups of water and add that. i cook all of it for a few minutes on low-med heat to let the flavors sort of percolate. if you like a thicker gravy, either add some wondra, or some flour while youre simmering this all. (you can also use guinness beer instead of water when making the boullion)

put this mix in whatever pan/dish youre going to use to cook the pie in. top with a layer of corn, then mash up the potatoes (add milk or butter if you like) then spread it on top. i like to put paprika on the top of everything, just a light coat on top of the potatoes. bake in a 350 degree oven until the potatoes start to brown. you should also be able to see some liquid bubbling up around the edges, just to let you know everything inside got hot.

also, not sure if you like soups but i made WAY too much lentils and barley when i first made the shepherds pie recipe (1/2 cup seemed too little to me, but it isnt!) so last night i threw a bunch of onions, mushroom and garlic in a crockpot with 4 cups of vegetable bouillion and 2 cups of white wine and let it cook for a while (4 hours on high). when everything was cooked i added the lentils and barley, and cooked for another 45 min or so. it came out really good. you can speed this up by just sauteeing the mushrooms and onions first, then just cooking it all together for 30-45 min or so.

voila'!

a good hard look at me

so living alone has the weird advantage of being a little place where every thing and every change are wrought directly by you, (me) the live aloner. it really gives you clarity and the oppurtunity to examine things you do, without the interference of having someone else around to muddy the results.

here are some things i am learning about myself as time goes on:

-i use a lot of spoons. no ideas, no explanation on this one. we always used a lot of spoons, i just never thought much of it because there were 2 of us and somehow that seems like a good enough reason. but now that it's just me, i'm noticing there is still always a pile of spoons in the sink. whatever, i'm just saying i use a lot of spoons is all.

-i also use a lot of toilet paper. i drink a lot of water, and i love to poo. there's not a heck of a lot of wiggle room on this one, and very little shame on my end. i'm going to try conserving squares when it seems prudent to do so.

-i'm pretty neat. adam was pretty much constantly bitching about the state of the house. it's funny because now that he is gone and i have more room, and places to actually put all of my stuff and it's all put away. the one room upstairs is still a clothes hamper/closet/craft basket/work area pile of vomit, but it's just that one little room. who even cares ?? not me.

-i sleep better with piles of animals all over me. having dog and cat back in the big bed has really made a difference in sleeping. i have more room to spread out, but i can hear the assorted bodily functions of the dog, and the cat is usually on my back while i'm sleeping. both very reassuring, and it feels much like like back to "aaah" than the adjustment i thought it would be.

-i talk to myself: a lot. less so possibly since i started this blog, and sometimes i do pretend i'm talking to the dog or cat, but i'm pretty much just talking to hear myself talk. i think i am actually unable not to speak all the time, so it's a good thing i have the animals around as a beard. me != silent monk

-i like getting up damned ass early in the morning and doing work when it's all quiet and dark. i never really did that when adam was here, i'm not fool enough to get out of bed when there's a naked man in there, but now that he's gone i make very good use of the 5-9 period in the day and get tons more work done.


that's it. i'm still exploring, look back later for more findings.

and now, for your entertainment is a picture of my nephew *freaking* the fuck out because we dressed him up in a chicken costume and laughed at him. shit was funny!